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Fiction Funny

      "Sorry." Abi said after she ran into a boy. Her dad's bosses son. "Ho-how are you today?" She asked him. 

      "Um...ok. You?" He said as he got to his feet.

       "I am doing well." Abi said.

        "That's nice." The boy said.

        "I think my father...w-works for yours." Abi said. 

       "Ok." The  dark skinned teenager said. 

       Abi bounced on her heels. 

       "Well...I'm gonna go now." The boy said and started to walk away, but Abi jumped in front of him. 

      "Hello." She said. 

     "Hi." He said and went to walk past her but she took a step toward him and they banged their heads together and both fell. 

     "Man girl." The boy said and rubbed his head. 

      "S-sorry." Abi said and got to her feet. 

      The boy looked annoyed to say the least. He got up and glared at her. Sidestepping away from her. 

      "I really have to go." He said and then ran. 

     Abi sighed and walked to the vending machine. As she was getting a orange soda and bag of chips, someone came up to her and said, 

      "Hi there. I don't think I've seen you before, what's your name? I'm Keith."

      She opened the orange soda and took a sip before walking away. She stood there drinking her soda as Keith got his own food. As he was walking away she said,

     "Abigail Wiggins. My name is Abigail Wiggins."

      He looked over his shoulder at her as if having forgotten that he asked the question.

      "Oh, um...that's nice. How'd you get here? I didn't know children could work here." Keith said. 

     Abi blinked and said, "I...I not a child. My father works over there." 

     She pointed in the general direction of her father's office. 

     "Oh. Well, I got to get back to work." Keith said and walked away. 

     Abi sighed and slid down the wall, eating her food. Some people came down the hall chatting about something Abi didn't have a clue about, but she got up and said, 

     "Yes. The math is working today." 

     They both gave her really strange looks and kept walking. She followed. 

     "Do you need something?" One asked a minute later. 

     "Why no." Abi said and walked away and back to her food. 

     She finished eating and found a trash can and an old man. He dropped his cane, but she just stood there and stared, moving her hands a little. The old man glared at her. She waved. He got his cane and walked away, the whole time Abi stood there smiling. She clapped for him after he got his cane, then walked away. 

     She ran into a highly chatty woman. 

     "How are you my dear?" The woman said. 

     "I am not a deer. I am especially not your deer. If anyone's dear I am my father's." She said, causing the woman to give her a very strange look. 

     "Um...who might you're father be, sugar cake?" The woman asked. 

     "Roberto Taylor Wiggins. He is not Spanish. My grandparents simply liked the name. I am still a human, and you should not call me a food or animal." Abi said. 

     "Ok then." The woman said. "Does he wo-?" 

     Abi walked away so as to not hear the rest of the question. The woman looked confused. She ran into someone else. 

     "Who might you be?" The person asked. 

      "A human." Abi said and kept walking. 

      She stopped in front of her father. 

      "I would like 5 US dollars." She said. 

      Her father handed her the money. She got stuck in a conversation with someone who would not shut up and finally she said, 

      "I will pay you to shut up." then handed them the money and walked away. 

      She ran into the boy again. 

     "What...is the name?" She asked him. 

      "Uh...my name? My name is George." He said and she walked away. 

      She got in the elevator with a tiny person and patted them on the head the whole ride. 

     "Do you have a problem?" The tiny person asked her. 

     "No." She said and continued to pat their head. 

     "You are very short." She told the small person and walked away. 

     Later she got in the elevator with the same tiny person and petted their head. When the tiny person tried to get away, she grabbed them and hissed at them. 

     "What in the world is wrong with you?!" The tiny person yelled at her after she dragged them to her father. 

     "Father, I have found a tiny person." She said. 

      "Put the tiny person back." Her father said. 

       "Ok." She said, and brought the tiny person back to the elevator and got some chips. 

     On the way there she found a mother with her baby and said, 

      "May I please have your baby?" The mother blinked. 

      "Uh...no." She said. 

      "Why not?" Abi asked. 

     "Uh...because it's mine." The mother said. 

      "I will bring it back." Abi said. 

      "Nope, that's ok." The mother said and clung to the baby. 

     "I want the baby. I will bring it back. Why won't you give me the baby? I will not eat the baby." Abi said. 

     The woman blinked and hurried into an elevator. Abi glared at the elevator and then screamed in a complete stranger's face and ran away. 

     "I...would like to dance with you." She told a stranger. 

      "What?" The 40 year old with his hands full asked. 

     "I want to dance with you." She said and started dancing. 

     He walked away. She stood there dancing until someone asked her what she was doing. 

     "Dancing." She said. "Do you want to dance with me?" 

      "No." The person said. 

      "I would like you to dance with me." She said again. 

      "No." The person said again. 

      She walked away. 

     "Are you ok?" Someone asked her. 

     "Yes." She said and then slapped them on the shoulder and gave them a hug, before walking away. 

     She ran into the tiny person again, who tried to get out of the elevator after seeing her but it was already closed. 

     "I love you tiny person." She said and hugged the tiny person. 

      The tiny person rolled their eyes. She petted their head. As soon as the elevator opened the tiny person ran and Abi found her father. 

      "Abi, time to go." He said and they made their way to the car.

      She told him everything she did that day and he said, 

     "Why do I take you anywhere?" 

      In response she said, 

     "I do not know." 

September 22, 2023 21:41

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RBE | Illustrated Short Stories | 2024-06

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