A Town called Nothing

I stood behind the counter watching everyone in the diner eat their food. The old man, Stan, was drinking his black coffee by his usual seat by the window; the single dad and his daughter were taking 30 minutes like always trying to decide what to eat; the newly-weds were eating their breakfast without even looking at each other. No one in this town looks at each other. Sometimes I don’t think they’re people. They seem more like black shadows tied here and to their daily habits for reasons unbeknownst to me.

The chime of the of the bell pulled me out of my thoughts, but it’s the two faces that held my attention . They aren’t like the other faceless beings in the diner. They’re new, lively, and everything I wanted to be. I watched them walk over to the booth in front of Stan. Both of them were talking and by the loud laughter they seemed to enjoy each other. The utensils clinking against the plates, the cook shouting out orders, and their laughter had surrounded the diner. But, I could only hear them. 

“You gonna take their order? I got three other tables I’m handling right now,” Beatrice, the one other waitress, asked. I jumped at the sound of her voice, grabbed my notepad, and walked over to their table. When I reached their table, they were still looking at each other completely unaware that I was in front of them. I knew I should speak but interrupting their conversation not only felt rude, but would also cease my the first source of entertainment I’ve had since living in this dull town. 

“Oh, sorry. We didn’t see you there.” I looked over at the owner of this delicate voice. All of a sudden, I forgot how to speak. Her skin reminded me of the night sky. Her wide smile, showcasing her dimples, was whiter than I knew possible. And, her hair was neatly placed in large afro that I tried to replicate but always comes out uneven. She’s, by far, the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen and the thought of looking away seemed impossible. 

“Hello, are you alive in there?” This time a boy resembling the beautiful human is staring up at me with a smile. I didn’t respond, instead I looked back at the girl. She let out an uncomfortable laugh. “So, would a cup of coffee be too much to ask?”

I finally got my mouth to operate and sputtered out, “um, coffee too much to ask not.” They both laughed and I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. “Okay then, Yoda. I’ll take a black coffee and the biscuits with gravy.” She smiled at me and I smiled back before writing down the order. 

“We’ve been driving for hours. Don’t you want something more than that?” The boy asked. 

“Are you guys new in town?” I asked, hoping the answer would be yes. 

“No, we’re new to the town, but we’re not actually staying,” he replied.

“We don’t stay anywhere.” 

“Visiting someone, then?” I could hear the hopefulness leave my voice. 

“We don’t have anyone to visit. We just like to drive around the country and see the different places and people we can meet,” the girl corrected. Her answer was a bit shocking. Living here, we all did the same thing and liked to see the same faces. Familiarity was comforting. But, these two went looking for the unknown. The unknown was what scared me the most. No matter how much I dreaded this town, leaving didn’t feel like an option. Leaving equaled change, and in turn, I would have to change. 

“So, can I order?” 

“Oh! Yes, sorry. What can I get you?”

“Chef’s special.” I write down the boy’s order. “Coming right up.”

When I returned behind the counter, I couldn’t stop myself from looking at the pair. They caught me watching a few times, yet I continued staring. “Order up!” I grabbed the two plates and walked them over to my new favorite customers’ table. I sat them down in front of them and told them to enjoy the meal. I turned to walk away. “Yoda,” the girl called and I turned back. Her calling after me was such a simple act, but made me feel my heart pound. “We’ve been traveling alone together for a while now. We have money and room in the car if you want to join us for a trip or two.” I could barely process the proposition that I was offered. They just met me and they were welcoming enough to take me along on their adventures. However, I knew I couldn’t do that.

“Um, I really appreciate it but I can’t.”

“Why not?” The boy asked. 

“We don’t know even know each other. Plus, I’ve been here forever I can’t just leave.”

“I’m Willow and this is my brother Q. Your name tag says Luna, but we’ll stick with Yoda.” Willow. That was her name. Her brothers name didn’t matter only hers. I’ve never been enthralled with another human before, let alone another girl, but she had all my attention. 

“We aren’t forcing you to go anywhere. You just kept staring and we thought maybe you would want to go. But, if not, then we’ll finish our food and head to the next town over. Since, there’s nothing to see here,” said Q. I glanced at Willow and she offered me a small smile. I hoped they would beg me, but they didn’t. 

“Excuse my brother, he’s a little rude. What he meant to say was: this town doesn’t excite us, but if you enjoy it here, then you don’t have to come if you don’t want to.” I smiled at Willow then walked back to my place behind the counter. Watching Willow and Q eat made my mind drift to the horrifying fact that when they walked out that door without me, they would never be back. This town didn’t excite me either, yet I stayed. I knew what tied me to this place. It was fear. There was so many things and people I wanted to experience differently, but it was taboo here, so I pushed it away. Seeing Willow and Q, brought those feelings back to me, and I didn’t know how to stop it.

They ate fast, probably because they were ready to leave and never come back here. I don’t know what it was, but when they got up to leave, my breath began to quicken. And, when they walked out the door, I saw what I could have been leave with them. A sense of urgency flooded through me, and I ran after them. Willow had just opened the car door when I called out, “I want to come!” Willow whipped her head around. She walked up to me and looked down into my eyes. “You want to come?” 

“I- just to the next town. I’ve never been out of town. I just want to see the next town. With you. Then you bring me back, yeah?” She smiled at me but also looked confused. 

“Q! We have a visitor!” She shouts.

On the ride to the next town, I kept battling with the thought of jumping out the car or staying. Q and Willow had many inside jokes that I tried to laugh at with them but I didn’t understand. I didn’t know how to make small talk with them because I could tell that Q wasn’t very happy with me coming along for only one trip, then taking me back. It’s been a while since we passed the welcome sign. We were no longer in Bellwood and the thought haunted me. 

“Yo, I got to poop,” Q said, while pulling into a gas station. Willow hit his arm and scoffed. Then, he went inside, leaving me and Willow alone. We sat in an awkward silence for a while, before Willow got out and leaned on the front of the car. I got out as well, and followed her. I leaned against the car next to her. I didn’t know why I got out because I had no idea what to say. 

“Why’d you come with us, Yoda?” Willow finally spoke.

“I don’t know. I think I should go back. I wanted to try something different. I didn’t want to be like the other people in my town, but it’s all I know,” I replied. 

“Do you like who you are there?” I’d never been asked that question before and I never thought of it. I knew I didn’t like the town or the people in it but I never thought about myself. I already knew I was hiding things about myself, but I didn’t think about if the parts I was hiding were going to make happy or not. I don’t think I ever was myself. Everyone had a perception of me based on my fear of showing them the real me. In turn, I had to live a lie and felt like life was more of a chore than a gift. I looked at Willow and explored her face. I licked my lips before leaning up and giving her a small kiss on the lips. She looked at me with knitted eyebrows and a small smile. 

“What are you doing?”

“Finally being myself,” I replied. Her smile grew. 

“Alright, let’s roll,” Q said as he exited the gas station. We all jumped inside the car.

“Q, I want you to take me back.”

Q hit the wheel. “you’ve got to be kidding me! You said you’d come to the next town and we are even there yet and you’re ready to bail? What’s back there anyway? I’d love to know.”

Willow turned and looked at me. “My clothes. I figured if I traveled the country with you guys I’d need that, right?” Willow smiled. Q turned back and laughed. 

“Alright. Let’s ride!” He exclaimed. Willow and I laughed. She grabbed my hand, kissed it, then turned back to face the road. I still feared all the possibilities to come, but I needed to leave the place that held me down. I didn’t want to have to hide anymore and stay somewhere I dreaded, so I left it behind me. And, as we got further and further away, I could swear that if I looked back I’d see the girl I once was.