Impenetrable

“IMPENETRABLE”

When Tom was young, he enjoyed running track more than any other exercise he knew. That was true mostly because he was just naturally good at running, and it didn’t require much thinking. When his class was told by his physical education teacher to run a certain distance, he would just start running along with the others until he reached the finish line. It was an uninspiring and painful exercise and he would only put forward the minimum amount of effort to finish. He was good at it, but not great. It wasn’t fun to run until your lungs burned and your legs hurt, so he didn’t spend time and energy running extra miles just to get better at it. He didn’t care that much who beat him or who he could beat.

Then, as he got older, he became more competitive. He could impress some of his classmates (maybe even some of the girls) by doing something most kids thought was too hard. In his mind, he was even more impressive because he always favored longer distances, mostly due to his long legs and relatively good stamina, which did not count for much in the quick starts and powerful bursts of speed required for sprinting. Tom preferred the tests of endurance provided by 3,000-meter races. While Tom never took first place in any of the meets he entered, he often came in within the top five. After he graduated from high school, Tom considered running track at the university to which he had been accepted. He even thought that he might win a running scholarship there. He soon found out that the competition for such awards was too high, and he didn’t make the cut because there were other, more serious runners who were faster because they practiced more, and they got the scholarships. In spite of his disappointment, Tom decided to try out for the track team anyway after he started attending his university classes, but to run without any financial incentive.

Tom stayed with the track team for a season, but he soon became frustrated with his performances at the collegiate level and decided to drop out of the running team at the end of the season. While Tom no longer ran for the college team, he still wanted the exercise and solitude offered by long-distance running. So, he decided on a plan to start increasing his running distances systematically that would ultimately lead to finishing a half-marathon, and hopefully even running at least one full marathon!

As he worked through those milestones, and as the years passed, Tom continued to run, and he entered some races near his hometown. He had finally conquered half-marathons and then had even run several full marathons in his mid-thirties. By the time he was 40, he had become bored with running around tracks or through cities or suburbs and decided to start running trails through increasingly wild lands. He ultimately started running through forests. This gave him the opportunity to run on softer ground and have the pleasure of discovering natural beauty without having to pay exorbitant prices for T-shirts, medals, and music.

One day, he started running on a forest trail he had never tried. He had chosen a trail that was twelve miles long and of medium difficulty. The difficulty level in this case meant that there would be a lot of the trail’s length that was poorly marked, unmaintained, and overgrown. There would also be random slope changes throughout the course. Tom had run on such trails before, so he didn’t have any trepidation in selecting such a trail.

At first, while he was running, he found that there were some markers that showed the way so that he could follow his goal of twelve miles. He had started on his run by 6:45 on a bright spring morning. Cirrus clouds spread high above his trail on a deep blue sky, the air was crisp and cool, and all was right with the world. As time went on, at what he estimated should be 6 miles in, he found that there were some forks in the trail that gave no information as to which choice he should follow to continue with his planned run. He also noticed that the trail was becoming increasingly overgrown and surrounded by young, small trees and high bushes. Then, he was running on faint trails through taller trees, indicating forested land ahead. This was an unexpected thrill, and he didn’t have a care in the world as he proceeded further. The freedom was intoxicating! Instead of intimidating him, the trail beckoned him to run deeper and deeper into the now poorly defined route.

When he started to get a little tired, he was surprised to find that he had been running for over two hours without seeing any signs that he would soon be leaving the forest. Instead, the trail was disappearing; overgrown by exposed tree roots and more rocky, uneven ground than smooth and level. By his calculations, he should have run close to nine miles. So, when was he going to get close to the end of the trail? A little later, he actually became concerned when he noticed that he had run close to three hours and should have finished the course by then.

At that point, Tom stopped running and tried to figure out where he had made his wrong turn because he was convinced he must have missed a trail marker. Instead of the stop helping to clarify his position, he found that he had become distressingly disoriented. Ahead, the trees seemed to crowd the trail and appeared to block his way forward entirely. Behind him, the trail he had just covered seemed unfamiliar. Although he hated to do so, he knew he was going to have to backtrack in order to pick up the place in the trail where he had lost his way. He immediately turned around and headed back the opposite way. When he had traveled about a mile back, he found a likely error that he had made and followed the new path. Then, traveling on this new path, he soon wound up in the same place where he had first become disoriented almost an hour before. His situation became bleak. The way ahead appeared blocked, while the way back would be long and unrewarding. Then, as he started to move forward to make up the distance he had lost, the trail ahead became totally blocked by mid-sized trees. He was also unsure as to whether he was moving forward toward his ultimate goal or back toward the starting line. He was now truly confused. It was getting late, and he was making no progress. Suddenly exhausted, he sat down in the middle of the trail and put his head in his hands. He had no idea how to find his way out.

* * *

Late that afternoon, Tom’s wife, Jessica, got a call from the local police to please come down to the station to take her husband home. When she arrived at the station, she was told that her husband had been picked up in a neighborhood close to the one they had lived in for over ten years. He was picked up because he was reported by some residents who stated that he seemed to be wandering back and forth down the center of their streets, and when the police asked him if there was something wrong, his answers didn’t seem to make sense because he told them that he was lost and couldn’t find his way home. When they asked him for his address and phone number, his location was only a few blocks away from his house. That’s when they called Jessica. After she arrived at the station, Tom was released to his wife’s care, and they started driving toward home. Jessica started asking him gently how he had wound up in the neighborhood where he was found. Tom said he had been running on a new trail he found and then got lost. The story the police had told her made her wonder if he had gone running on a trail or if he had imagined it. She told him what the police had told her. On the way home, with her driving, she convinced him that he may have imagined running on the trail, and it might be a good idea for them to visit the hospital to ask his doctor what had happened to him. The hospital was on the way, and the doctor said she could see Tom right away. She ran some tests to check for signs of heart failure, stroke, or even dementia. She had some blood samples drawn and told him and his wife that she needed to set up some more in-depth tests over the next few days, such as the MMSE, the Mini Cog, and some other short tests along with CT and PET scans to rule out a possible stroke. Since Jessica was there, she told the doctor that she was prepared to drive him to any place at any time he needed to go for lab tests or any other consultation.

Following a week and a half of tests, the doctor called and indicated that she needed to talk to them as soon as possible. Since the doctor called in the morning, they scheduled it for that same day. When they met with the doctor, she was very concerned about Tom’s mental tests and had some PET scan images hanging from a backlit source. She indicated that Tom very likely had significant neurodegenerative dementia. After the shock of that announcement was absorbed, she told them that this was not necessarily a doomsday pronouncement, but instead, Tom could go on a program of diet, exercise, medication, and therapy. While results could vary, she said she thought that Tom had a good chance of benefiting from the treatment. She cautioned them that symptom reversals were rare, but many times, the disease could be slowed down.

** *

On the way home, although Jessica tried to be upbeat and they even stopped at their favorite coffee shop for a mood booster, Tom was lackluster. That was understandable, and Jessica tried to play it off as his trying to absorb hard news. Gone were his carefree runs, and she knew that she would have some heavy lifting ahead of her to help him cope.

That night, Tom was a bit jittery about the upcoming ordeal he would have to face to get through the treatment. After his shower, he had finally gone to sleep in his cotton pajamas and drifted toward an uneventful night. He received a shock, though, when he found himself standing in the same open park at the beginning of a trail where he had gotten lost the last time he had gone running on trails. Obviously, he didn’t want to run on that trail again, but as he stood there, seemingly riveted to the ground where he stood, the surrounding scenery changed before his eyes. His head turned involuntarily toward the trail, and instead of the short grass and well-marked trail, he was facing trees that seemed to be growing taller over a poorly marked path covered with tree roots and tall, uncut grass.

All at once, he was right back in the forest at the same place he had been trapped between going forward and turning back. He was so concerned that he sat down and almost gave up. Then, from deep within his inner reserves, he forced himself to change his mood and resolved to finish this challenge once and for all. “OK, I got this”, he told himself. “I’m just going to go back on the path until I get to the beginning of the trail, and then, I’ll have defeated this trail. I’ll get into my car and drive away, never to return.” But now, he wasn’t sure. Which way was forward and which back? When he suddenly found himself at this point of the trail, was he facing toward the end or back toward the beginning? He thought he should be able to tell by which direction was more overgrown. In one direction, the path was almost nonexistent, with trees blocking the path. OK, how about behind me? He wasn’t sure, but it seemed a little less overgrown. He had to decide, so he turned around and headed in the opposite direction from where he had been facing when he found himself in the middle of the trail.

Now that he had become decisive, he felt sure that he was going in the right direction, at last. That lifted his spirits, and he could almost see himself in his mind reaching the beginning of the trail and the end of his ordeal. As he continued, the trail was definitely getting clearer and clearer, and the trees were smaller. Sunlight broke through, and he saw familiar markers. Now, it was only five miles to the beginning of the trail. He was getting tired, but he kept on running. He saw the post signifying the start of the trail. The trail was marked for the distance of fifteen miles and was going to be of moderate difficulty. He had done it! He was back! But wait! What? FIFTEEN MILES? The path where he had gotten lost last time was twelve miles. He was sure. What on Earth? Had he lost his mind? How had this happened? He began to have a panic attack. Forcing himself to remain calm, he continued with his plan. It was OK. His car should still be there, and he should be able to find it and drive home. Situation under control, right? He had to go with it, right?

He looked over toward the parking lot and saw his car. Now, he just had to reach into his fanny pack and grab his keys, and drive home. But there was no fanny pack. What was he going to do? He walked over to the car, praying with all his might that it would be unlocked. Fortunately, it was unlocked. He got in, and the keys were in the ignition. So far, so good. He started up the engine and began driving home. However, even though he had started running during the day, it was now nighttime. How was he going to explain to Jessica what he had been doing all day and where he had been?

Tom came to the place where he would normally turn to wind up on his street, but he couldn’t seem to find the correct turn. Not only were the streets different-looking, but the signs were written in a foreign script. He came to a place where there were four octagonal signs, indicating a four-way stop. Then, when he started to go, the traffic in all the other directions kept pulling out before he could go. He became frustrated and started backing up, and the next thing he knew, he was outside his house looking for his keys, but then he was suddenly back in bed. He was thoroughly exhausted and fell immediately asleep.

In the morning, he found his car in the garage and there was no sign of anything wrong. When he went into the bathroom, though, he noticed in the mirror that he had a few leaves and sticks stuck tangled in his hair. He quickly went downstairs and threw them out the front door into the bushes. He didn’t want to think about where and how he could have gotten them.