A deal with an Angel

*TRIGGER WARNING* Sexual Abuse present in story*

Whether you believe in magic or not, it happens for you. I was a fallen Angel, and I was called to teach a lesson and serve as redemption for a lost soul, unbeknownst to me. I never lacked self-esteem but I had always been willing to take an ass whooping in the name of God, I met her at a terrible time in my life, a time of darkness. I wasn’t aware of my position yet, and my first assignment was a subject, who chose to be an enemy.

 I had been assigned to a whore who had been pimped by her family. Because a lot of practices and beliefs had been stripped during the slave trade, and their gifts had been exploited by the ruling class, many people in the black community had their power misplaced in the most accessible business available, sex work. It is an industry where magic misconduct is allowed, so many enter simply to practice their gifts. The most common practitioners found in the industry are energy manipulators.

I discovered my spiritual gifts through her.  I had the power to feel and guide and she had the power to manipulate energy to her will. She always felt that I was too sweet, though I loved my sweetness. She told me that I needed to learn how to use my gifts to my benefit; that my gifts were mines, not for other people.

She looked up to me because I reminded her of her innocence lost. I looked up to her because she knew how to be selfish. She was the first person to pedestal me for my innocence rather my gifts.  In my naivety, I thought that meant she could see the real me so I mistook her for a friend rather student. We were a match made in heaven, until she discovered who I was before me.

I was a guide to many even in my naivety and ignorance, yet she hated me for it. Whenever she was present to witness people consulting me, she would undermine my awareness. She never gave genuine input when I consulted her, it was always feigned optimism. She behaved as if I lacked the esteem to receive harsh truths, though it was her fear of losing me that bridled her tongue. This kept me questioning my perception, if she didn’t want to lose me, why would she hate me? It seemed the more I inquired on why she didn’t feel safe to speak her truth, she would deny that she was being dishonest, yet her passive aggression would increase significantly.

 It started to become draining to be around her. I felt like I was going crazy, I felt so much ill will from her yet she presented herself as a friend. The anxiety and confusion began to consume me, I started becoming paranoid of everyone around me. If the ill will wasn’t coming from her, it could be anyone. I began to isolate myself to cleanse my energy for clarity.

I didn’t want to believe my intuition over my friend, but my spiritual gifts had never been wrong before. I cut ties without explanation. 

Sure enough she was a guilty manipulator. I found that she had been spreading rumors that I was being trained to become a prostitute. She would tell them that the only thing holding me back was my innocence. She had a plan to lead me to misuse my gifts so that I lost my innocence, that way I would need to rely on her to learn to use my gifts without the blessing of God. She had such envy of the influence I had on others whilst being able to maintain my innocence.

I didn’t address her or tell anyone of what happened, I simply moved on with my life. It seemed for the next couple of months after, I had nothing but bad luck and tragedies strike. People avoided me, my support system abandoned me, and people would randomly go out of their way to target me.

Finally after months of confusion, I was made aware that she had began spiritually attacking me again. She had began spreading a rumor that I was an evil witch. This was considered destiny swapping through word and glamour magic. It was her who was the evil witch, spreading rumors to glamour my image. It was believable because I stayed to myself, and many knew nothing of me. Apparently, just as I had a tumultuous couple of months, she did as well. She was telling everybody that I was cursing her because she no longer wanted to be my friend. I did nothing of the sort.

I had been doing nothing but strengthening my connection to God like never before; due to the extent of conflict I was receiving. I had discovered I was an Angel through her intent on my demise. Witches are fallen Angels dependent on the world for their magic, rather God. Some reject the spirit of God, because they don’t want to serve his purpose and some lose his spirit due to their misconduct. In her case, she lost her connection to her family and I was supposed to be her redemption. She had known this, but she thought to regain redemption, we had to switch positions.

I was tired of her targeting me unprovoked. I went to my God and he sent me to the Devil. The Devil told me, upon discovering that I was an Angel envy brewed, and she had been studying ways for us to switch positions. At first I was afraid to deal, but I had God’s blessing. I had never personally dealt with the devil, but from stories passed down through the family I knew it was important to have nothing but pure intent. Ensuring your intent is pure protects you incase the deal backfires.

I asked the Devil to give me a week to gather all my information before proposing a deal. I took into account her tragic upbringing, how my actions might have provoked her unintentionally, how she might have been so in love with me that she wanted me to herself, and how she might have been through so much that she simply looked at me as an opportunity to escape. I decided the most integral solution would be to give her what she wanted.

I made a deal with the devil to have her atone for my sins as well as her own. If she succeeded she could have my life, if she failed he could have her corrupted soul. The price of my sins was self love, and the price of hers was forgiveness. If she succeeded, that would let me know that her envy was valid and she was more deserving of my life. If she failed, she would no longer be a problem in my life or anyone else’s for that matter.

It’s been a year since I made that deal, and I haven’t heard from her or the devil since. One of the most integral characteristics of an Angel is self love and forgiveness.  I finally forgive myself for failing to bring a soul to the light, but I love myself for not falling victim to her darkness. Whether you believe in magic or not, it happens for you. I found my wings in her attempt to strip them from me.