EL UNO DE ORO-THE GOLDEN ONE...What life took from me!

Submitted into Contest #67 in response to: Write a thriller about someone who witnesses a murder… except there’s no evidence that a murder took place.... view prompt

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Fiction Romance Suspense

It was on Thursday, 21st August 1975 when our story began…in general!

In ‘La Saldivar Paraíso’ Hotel room 58, were two arguing ladies…who were actually biological sisters...namely, Señoritas Victoria Carina and Carmela; the Hernández.

“I beg you, for our blood…tell me where you are going, sister, please!?...for the Love of God…” begging an innocent-like young sister, Carmela. Victoria suddenly shouted and slapped at her…selfishly and in a villainy way, “CAN’T YOU LEAVE FOR A SECOND, YOU EVIL-STRIKER? What I am supposed to do…is none of your concerns, you little brad! You should be there to obey, not to investigate me as that… (Awfully face made) …ant does.” The shocked victim agreed to obey her big sister forever and ever. Victoria continued, “You should put your awful… (Pointing at Carmela’s feet) …waste feet where I stepped along ago. Now, tonight…is the night I dreamt of, since when I met that… (Made the awful face again) …that…that crab-girl, ‘Isabela López’…I will kill her tonight!”

Carmela was greatly shocked by her sister’s evil words, and Victoria saw it and asked her, “Why? Why are you soooo shocked? If it was you…ok, on your part; what would you do to her? Hum!?” Carmela…shocked…answered calmly, “Yes, I would do the same! She is…the causal of our family’s disability issues…we cannot rest with her around…us! Even, I, a beautiful angel…can turn into a chucky doll!” They changed their face into evil planners. Someone heard them…secretly!

         “Isabela!? Isabela!? Isabela López!?” called a beautiful Young lady, Señorita Sofía Martínez. “Isa…bela!?” She was highly shocked to see an unprepared beautiful young lady in a towel, but, who was also nervously scared to death. She was Señora Isabela López de Sánchez. They were in room 64. Sofía asked her best friend, Isabela, why she was not ready yet for their friends’ party, and she answered, “Oh, well, I cannot go there without seeing it!” As she was nervously scared to death, she was searching over and all over again…the unknown, but, mysterious thing! A strange person overheard them secretly hiding behind the entrance door when the two best friends were jazzing some things which seemed to be as terrible and terrifying as they seemed. Sofía left and Isabela stayed in traumatising and searching over and over. When Sofía was heading to her friends’ party downstairs, she always heard someone following behind her, but, not even a single shadow was there…because, it was in the darkness.

Over and over, several times, she heard the invisible follower…and, actually, that terrified her! So, she finally reached at the place with so much fear on her phenotype. She saw…with great shock…one and only one person there in black. She asked, “Are you alone here? Where are others? Where have they gone? Please, respond!” It was Señor Acilino Adulio Sánchez, Isabela’s husband. He asked her, “Why so many questions? And climb down from that scary ceiling!” She informed him about the mysterious invisible follower…as he seemed suspicious. He, then, informed her how each one of their friends went on his and her own mysteriously, and that, they never returned…for over an hour! Both focused and concerned at the same time, on Isabela. They suddenly ran towards her, each one on his and her way.

         Someone suddenly knocked on room 64’s door…terrifically! The ‘traumatised researcher, Isabela’…as I may name her…still in a towel, went to open the door, and she received the most great shock in her nervous system! She tried with her forces to close the door, but, finally, the person in black gloves won the pushing, and pushed harder against her as that person entered.

The mysterious person was wearing black shoes with black trouser, covered him/herself with a long black gabardine coat, and those black gloves. Isabela menaced that person, “I over searched the golden one to prove your villainy and show everyone who you really are…thanks to that videotape which is hidden somewhere safely…your time is over!” The person in black angrily closed the door unlocked by force, and put a gun towards Isabela. She had another greatest shock, “NO! NOOO! NOOOO…” Then, “POOF!”

The gunshot was loudly heard. Suddenly, the terrified Sofía, who was just behind the door, she heard the gunshot. Therefore, she knocked over and over without any response, calling, “ISABELAAA!?” for several times, and also, without any response. She opened the door, and realised that it was unlocked…when she was about to enter, her eyes met with a corpse which was laying down, with a back against the floor. A gun was on the floor beside the corpse. Sofía had the greatest shock! She fully entered crying and kneeled down beside her friend’s corpse. It was the dead Isabela. Sofía carried the crime-weapon…the gun…in her bare hands from the ground.

After a while, she saw something…which shocked and scared her…running and rushing, leaving the crime scene to another room towards outside. She only saw a shadow and a little part of the gabardine coat with black gloves. With the gun in her bare hands, she tried to reach at the murderer, but, the murderer was faster than her. She went back to the Isabela’s corpse. The Hotel security guards suddenly entered with Acilino occasionally…all had the greatest shocks! They accused her of murdering Isabela, but, she cried out like a baby, and tried to prove her innocence, but, failed…with fear, shocks, and was also terrified.

         Five months later, in the Courtroom, Sofía was accused of murdering Isabela after finding her guilt, and she was persecuted for all years by Honorable Jugador Ignacio Júan Moreno. It was the greatest shock for her as well as all of her friends. All of those friends of her turned into her worst nightmare enemies. Each one of them told her some hurtful and evil words against her, in order to destroy her feelings and future. It was not fair for her to meet with the prison’s nightmare life as well as its villain members.

“Isabela was the worst and my dream to kill her came true, and her eagle friend, Sofía, is isolated now!” Said with so much happiness in an evil way, by Señor Adrián Agustín Gómez, telling his wife, Señora Théophilia Rivera de Gómez, who said, “Ooooh, darling! You really do not know what actual actions I made for those two.” Both laughed and cheered.

Now, we are starting with suspension chord on these suspects:

Victoria Carina, Carmela, Adrián Agustín and Théophilia.

         The ten friends went to ‘La Mansión de Sánchez’ where they chatted in the meeting room. Acilino Adulio said, “Whatever happened there, will be in our past.” All were shocked, and Comandante Humberto Rivera agreed by confirming, “Yes, you are right, Adulio. Now, we shall live by the present and future, not by the past…especially…for your daughter!” All had the greatest shocks, as he continued, “I cannot face her with all of what I did against her poor mother which she paid her own life with!”

Now, we have got five suspects:

Victoria Carina, Carmela, Adrián Agustín, Théophilia and Comandante Humberto.

“What shall I tell her? Oh…my…God!” Acilino Adulio asked as he was so terrified. Señora Carina Amada Martínez de Reyes reached and touched Acilino Adulio, and told him, “You do not have to tell her any single piece of what happened there.” All friends were shocked. Señor Apolinar Rutilio Reyes, Carina Amada’s husband, agreed, “Yes, Adulio. My wife is right. Do not tell her any of what occurred. Just, tell her that she died in a plane crush.” All were shocked again. “That would be the best way than killing her. Why didn’t I think about it before?” Doña Leticia Araceli Corral de Saldivar thought!

As an update, we have the following as suspects:

Victoria Carina, Carmela, Adrián Agustín, Théophilia, Comandante Humberto and Leticia Araceli.

“Who really killed Isabela?” Don Lobo Mateo Saldivar, Leticia Araceli’s husband, asked as all had the greatest suspicious shocks. He thought, “But who cares…as long as I have achieved my goal!?”

Quick update; seven suspects:

Victoria Carina, Carmela, Adrián Agustín, Théophilia, Comandante Humberto, Leticia Araceli and Lobo Mateo.

They left the mansion to their places.

         Two months later, all of the ten friends met again in a classic restaurant. Acilino Adulio was wondering why none of his friends got in touch with him in those two months…I mean, for that long…and Señor Apolinar Rutilio Reyes answered, “Well…we jazzed later…and found out that…my wife and I…are prime suspects for your late wife’s death!” “Why so?” A shocked Acilino Adulio asked. Apolinar Rutilio’s wife, Señora Carina Amada Martínez de Reyes, answered, “We remembered that…Sofía claimed to see a black gabardine coat with black gloves of the shadow. And…my husband and I…were the only ones who were wearing them… (As she remembered) …I was wearing the black gloves, and Apolinar, the black gabardine coat.” With a great shock, Acilino Adulio asked, “So, you mean that…both of you…killed…m…my…Isabela?” The two mates seemed to agree as they were suspiciously shocked.

Last, but, not least update…I think…we have the total of nine suspects for the murder of Isabela López de Sánchez:

Victoria Carina, Carmela, Adrián Agustín, Théophilia, Comandante Humberto, Leticia Araceli, Lobo Mateo, Apolinar Rutilio and Carina Amada. Who amongst them really murdered Isabela López de Sánchez?

Acilino Adulio stood up and rejected all of his nine friends who attended the suspense meeting, and he thereafter ordered them to do not ever reach his place…and especially, his daughter…he even menaced them, which made each and every one be greatly shocked. Everyone left there with sad and inner angered-face…seeking for revenge in each one’s heart, as in, ‘THIS DOES NOT END HERE!’

         That night, someone went to ‘La Mansión de Sánchez’ and headed to the baby’s bedroom’s bed, and targeting to kidnap the baby. The mission was accomplished…the secret snicker kidnapped the baby and took her far away from her biological home into a terrible countryside’s trash-bean…in the darkness, and left! Suddenly, after the kidnapper’s leaving, a dirty resident woman of that place had a strange noise as a baby’s crying sound. She reached there and saw the baby in, covered by dust. The kidnapper was watching everything, hiding behind a tree. The woman felt sorry for the baby, and carried her along with her in her arms. The dirty woman was asking some funny questions which were actually reasonable to be answered by the kidnapper only…but, the way she asked herself and the baby, “Who you are? Who is mama of you? Who is papa of you? You here why?” was so funny! They left, as well as the kidnapper.

Acilino Adulio had a worse nightmare and woke up quickly, then, rushed to his baby’s bedroom and saw… ‘NO BABY!’ He shouted her name with a great shock, “ISABELIIIIIIITAAAAAAA…”

Someone, somewhere, had the worst nightmares too, after witnessing the murder:

[He was hidden in another room…Only him, knew what happened at the crime scene! He was La Saldivar Paraíso’s servant who was a cleaner. He was cleaning one of the Room 64’s rooms when he accidentally stepped on the videotape and he was supposed to watch it. He saw something which he had not seen before and seemed to regret in watching it…it was terrible! When he was pulling out the videotape, he heard some people shouting and disputing to death. And as no one knew that he was there, he hid himself in a closet which was near the arguing people. No one noticed! He secretly attended the whole scene. He saw that it regarded the videotape which he carried along with him in his hand…he was so terrified! He remembered that the Hotel had some video cameras in all of its bedrooms. He checked if in that place was any camera around. The result came more than positive…the camera was staring at them…then, the ‘POOF!’ scene occurred. He had the greatest shock!

When he was nervous and super scared, he stayed in the closet, until they arrest and brought out the innocent Sofía. As no one else was neither in nor near the crime scene, he ran off nervously scared in shocks away from the Hotel. On his way out, he remembered the camera. He went for it, but, the murderer saw and followed him. The servant noticed it, but, did not show his notice. He got his second videotape as evidence nervously scared in shocks. On his uniform badge, the name was ‘Vicenté Saúl Saavedra’.

Vicenté and the murderer raced as in the horror movie in the Hotel. They ended outside and away from the Hotel as the target won as he ran faster than the murderer. So, he hid somewhere as it seemed to be safe for him. He had both videotapes.]

         In the prison, Sofía who was dirty in the stagnant and crushed prison’s inmates’ uniform and who had a beaten face, was with her lawyer, Lic. Carolina Luna Vásquez, and her spiritual father, Padre Fédérico Ezequías Mendoza de Jesús. Lic. Carolina asked Sofía, “Señorita Martínez…in order to help you, please…tell us what happened…on 21st August 1975’s night!?” As Sofía was so terrified, she answered, “It was the most terrible tragic night in my life!” and remembered as all went in flashes:

[Victoria Carina: HA-HA-HA-HA-HA…each dog                                      has its day! I am done with                                      that crab. Now…now, it is                                        your moment!

Carmela: I really did not mean to harm you like                    this! You were not like her!

Adrián Agustín: My dear lover is dead! What                                     can stop me in killing you in                                     prison…the way she died?

Théophilia: Now, I will have two crowns! One                           from you when will die in prison like                     a crushed cockroach!                                                Another…another I got it from that                     piece of crush, Isabela, after her death!                     Because…I took it   from her…with my                         own hands!

Comandante Humberto: If I was there where you                                         will be, I would strangle                                          you to death, instead of                                          shooting like how she died!

Doña Leticia: No one plays with me, little brad!                            She knew my secrets, and                                          now…is your turn, Barbie! I                                      will…you too!

Don Lobo Mateo: Do you know, now, what I am                            capable of? I can kill, with                                 pleasure, those who get to                                  know my secrets!

Apolinar Adulio: You know, an airplane crush                                    could be the best way to kill                                      her, but, it is too late to think                                   about that, and it went wrong!                                  It will not happen next                                             time…with you!

Carina Amada: You cannot manage to kill an                           ant, but, I did! You are the only                       problem which is remaining!

Each friendly enemy’s phrase shocked our Sofía  highly!

All: MURDERER! MURDERER! MURDERER!              MURDERER… (As Sofía was highly                         terrified) …MURDERER! MURDERER!                         MURDERER! MURDERER! MURDERER!

Jugador Ignacio Júan Moreno: Found…guilty…                                                       (As Sofía was so                                                        terrified, as she                                                        said,                                                                         “NOOOOOO…” as                                                      she was greatly                                                         shocked) …guilty!                                                      Guilty!]

After hearing that, Padré Fédérico was disappointed, “No! That cannot be done! May GOD have mercy on their souls! They really did not know what they did!” as Lic. Carolina kept asking Sofía what really happened at the crime scene, a guard came in to inform them that the visiting hours are over. When they left, Sofía remembered as she was so terrified:

[When Sofía over-knocked at Isabela’s room, no one opened, and she noticed that it was unlocked as it opened itself. She pushed and entered. She continued to call Isabela as she was greatly shocked to see Isabela so terrified in a towel! Isabela came rushing searching over and over for a videotape which was unfound. Isabela was so terrified! She told Sofía, “Please, I beg you…for our friendship! You are the only one whom I truly trust and whom I have as a real friend! Please, as long as I have that videotape…take care of my child, Isabelita…please!” Sofía was shocked and asked her, “Why is that? Why the rush? Why are you fearing and feeling death? Why?” Suddenly, something interrupted them. Sofía was highly scared, terrified and shocked, but, Isabela was greatly shocked, so terrified and so scared…as she said, “Is…here!” Sofía starred at her with so much confusions, but, shocked as asked her, “Who, Isa?” Isabela replied something which highly shocked Sofía, “Not who! Rather…what!?” Isabela had the greatest shock! Both were terrified!]

In the countryside from where Isabelita-baby was left, a Priest was amused and welcomed by the villagers. After a while, he took a speech, “I thank all of you for your good and kind hearts. Only GOD is The One to bless and guide you for that. As many of you know me as a missionary, I have been in a mission which I accomplished well by the Love of GOD. But, a friend of mine… (Made a loss-face) …was accused for the things she did not do! But, Jesus Christ is there for the innocents!”

As they cheered for his words, a countryside’s resident shouted, “BABY HERE NEW LEAVING HERE GIRL!” That Priest, Padré Cristiano Doroteo Morales requested them to bring the baby to him, “Where is it…she?” They gave him the baby. The great shock for him was that the baby was no one else, but, the baby Isabelita! When he saw and carried her in his arms, Padré Cristiano said, “Oh no!” He was greatly shocked again!

‘Ana María’ they named her!

November 08, 2020 05:08

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1 comment

Mugisha Didier
05:11 Nov 08, 2020

This story is on Amazon, in my book I named: EL UNO DE ORO-THE GOLDEN ONE: The Green-Grey Girl. It is my first Chapter in the book.

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