Can You Keep A Secret?

Can you keep a secret? 

Most people would answer yes to that without any hesitation. A knee-jerk response to the sliver of curiosity that sparks when the question is asked. Having information that you shouldn’t is electrifying, the thrill rushes through your veins and excites ever nerve ending possible. It is almost equal to a private dinner with a mighty monarch that you can never speak of to anyone. But the word yes is easily said, easily broken and very easily regretted. All is well, the dreadful secret is safe, until the rush becomes overwhelming; the tingling and excitement causes you burst. Everyone has their point, that critical point, where you can’t hold the information inside anymore. The best of us can last for years, others weeks or days, and the worst, only hours, if not minutes. For most, there is usually only one person they will cave to; the one person that ‘doesn’t really count’ – partner, parent, sibling, best friend – the one person you tell absolutely everything to. The one you can trust with anything and know will never judge you. 

But some secrets, some are so large that you need to be extremely careful with whom you share it. You need to be sure that you want to know the secret, and equally, you need to be sure that the person you’re divulging your secret to will keep your words to themselves. Dangerous things can happen if some secrets aren’t kept, or the wrong person is told. And this is such a secret. I need you to promise you’ll keep this; Never tell anyone, especially your person that ‘doesn’t count’ because they cannot be trusted at any cost. 

How do I know? Because I once told the untellable secret. He warned me not to tell anyone, of the consequences that would incur, especially if the person I told was my ‘doesn’t count’ person. But I didn’t listen, I told my trusted friend about the bizarre discussion I’d had with the man, about the strange secret he told me. My friend didn’t believe a word I’d said – called me crazy, insane, deluded. Even tried to send me away to a quiet hospital with loud people and soft rooms. You can never truly know betrayal until the one person you thought would always be beside you decides that they don’t believe you, they don’t trust your judgement anymore.  

But there were worse consequences to my words than I ever realised. When They heard me telling anyone, They were outraged. They came to me, but They never berated me; that would have been easier. They came to me and told me exactly what they would do to the person I had divulged Their secret to in excruciating detail. 

I can see it in your eyes, the burning question you have; Who are ‘They’? Who are these people that have such a secret they would kill to keep quiet? All you need to know, is that there is no escaping Them, no matter how hard you try. You could sail to the middle of the deepest ocean without a soul in sight, or fly off this world and onto the next, and They will still find you. Suicide? Never an option. They need you to live with the crushing burden as long as your mind can and will stop any plans like that dead. Trust me, I’ve tried. They know everything; They know when you tell, They know when your hiding, They know when how long you will last with their tragic secret and They know the second your mind breaks and They need to secure a new person to bear the burden. You will never know what They look like, but you’ll know when They are with you. And They are dangerous. They will do anything and everything it takes to keep it safe, and that includes ‘management’ as they call it. Their management is swift, it’s cruel and it’s absolutely final. 

They killed him. To ensure the secret remained with me, and me alone. They did that every time I told. Of course, They orchestrated it every time appear as an accident every time, to make sure that no-one believed me when I told them that they had been killed. 

It seems like an easy way for you to get rid of a person you don’t like, doesn’t it? A quick whisper to a detested person to get rid of your problem. Don’t be fooled, and don’t think for a second that they won’t punish you for it too. 

My punishment? Six lifetimes of prolonged torture for each time. Regrettably, it wasn’t any typical type of torture; cutting, waterboarding, thumbscrews, a cattle prod, the garrotte, flaying, impalement, crucifixion, nor the rats. I could have dealt with any of that. The cruel torture I endured was lifetimes with this damned secret, grimly watching everyone I knew inevitably die as I aged at a fraction of their rate. After the first, you’ll be beside yourself with unbearable grief. After a few, the agonizing pain will be less, but the feelings will be ever present. Ultimately, you became numb and after lifetimes of deaths, you become locked within yourself, barely noticing them live or die. Try caring for as long as you can; it will help keep your sanity for a little longer. 

This is the last time I will recount this damned thing, but I desperately need to tell someone; Before it’s too late, before it kills me and They chose at random. This will be something that you suffer with for the rest of your days. It will eat at you, consume you, gradually destroying your mind until it is all you can think about. But never spoken out loud; That was my second mistake. Another three life times. Any family or friends you have left will think you’re delirious, they won’t want anything to do with you – the rest abandoned you or died long ago. Even then, you still won’t be able to speak of it to anyone. You will be completely alone. Until one fateful day where They will send one person to you, someone that you don’t know but you’ll know you can trust. But you need to know they are as strong as They require. So, you will recite everything I have told you today – dire warnings and tragic consequences, grave mistakes you have made, and you will make them – and they should be intrigued enough to answer correctly. When they do, the relentless pressure will ultimately become too much. You will spill every word that you were told to this unknown person that you trust with the abysmal darkness that has devoured your mind and soul. And then the vicious cycle will begin anew. Be sure when you answer me; be ready for many lifetimes of dreary solitude, of longing to tell someone, of wishing they had chosen someone else. I dare you to keep it under five lifetimes. No-one else has managed below seven, but I have a good feeling about you. 

So, I’ll ask you again: 

Can you keep a secret?