Lennon

Lennon stared at me with the same face he had as when I was a child.  He was a teddy bear given to me by my aunt April when I was three.  We gave him the name Lennon because he had glasses like John Lennon.  Okay so my aunt named him, she was a Beatles fan and saw the bear and bought him for me.  Lennon came everywhere with me, I even took him to school until I was seven. He sat on my bed and through my teenage years I told him all my secrets.  When I left home at  twenty-five, he came with me.  He always sat on my bed until the first night Matthew  stayed over.  It was after that I put him in my wardrobe.  When Matthew and I moved in together,  Lennon came however I put him in storage.  I didn’t think about Lennon again until the night before my wedding.  I pulled him out and talked about how nervous I was and excited at the same time for my upcoming marriage.

When we moved into our first home we were going through all the stuff we had in storage and planned to throw as much out of it as we didn’t need.  I couldn’t get rid of Lennon.  He moved to the new house with Matthew and me.  He sat in a box along with other items from my childhood.

Now I pulled him out he was no longer going to be mine.  I was handing him over to my daughter Chloe who had turned three a couple of weeks ago.   I felt a twinge of sadness, for thirty years he had been mine.  He still looked like the day I got him, though a little older.  Chloe came running into my bedroom.  I turned and looked at her,  she was the spitting image of her dad.  I still get told how much I look like my dad.  Her dark hair and green eyes were so much like Matthew, shame though she had his nose.  Though I never wanted her to look like me,  I wanted her to be the spitting image of her dad,  so when I saw her I saw him.

Chloe started jumping on my bed.  “Chloe,” I said, sounding angry.  “Stop that.”

Stopping Chloe looked at me.  “Mummy,  daddy said we have holiday.” she announced.

I nodded.  “We are going to Disneyland,  Tinkerbell lives there.  You like Tinkerbell.”

That was an understatement, Chloe had a Tinkerbell doll, plus a doona and sheets with Tinkerbell.  She even had her uncle paint Tinkerbell on her wall.  Chloe started jumping on the bed again.  “I see Tinkerbell,  I see Tinkerbell,  she said excitedly.

“Chloe,  come on stop jumping.  I want you to meet someone,” I said showing her Lennon.  “Chloe this is Lennon.  He use to be mine and now he is yours.”

She stopped jumping and held out her arms.  I handed over Lennon to her.  Looking at him for a moment she then cuddled him.  I could help but smile.  I wondered if I had done that too when he was handed over to me.  I was never told.  “He is yours now Chloe.”

“Mine, mine,” she said, still cuddling him.

I felt extremely happy I was able to give him to my daughter.  Chloe sat on the bed and looked at him.  She pulled off his glasses and looked at them.  “They help him see,”  I told Chloe.

Putting the glasses back on Lennon and got up and ran out of the room.  I stared at the spot the last time I saw Lennon,  I thought saying goodbye to him I’d feel sad, however all I felt was happiness.  I was so overjoyed that he was with Chloe.   I got up and realised I had to pass something down to Liam, my son and Chloe's twin.  I had nothing to give a child from my childhood.  I noticed at the corner of my eye another teddy bear.   I picked it up and looked at him, without the glasses he looked like Lennon but a little darker,  “Oh you found her,” Matthew said as he walked him in the bedroom door.

“Who is she?  I had to ask.  He had never told me he kept his teddy bear.

“That’s Madonna.  I’ve had her since I was three.  My aunt Penny gave her to me.  I didn’t tell you about her, well because I forgot all about her,” Matthew explained.

“I just gave Lennon my teddy to Chloe.  You should give Madonna to Liam,” I suggested.

Matthew sat on the bed.  He looked at Madonna and took her from me.  “I used to sleep with her every night until I was ten.  I  couldn’t get rid of her.”

“Babe, you wouldn’t be getting rid of her.  You would hand her down to your son.”

Matthew took Madonna from me.  “I suppose I could.  What if Liam doesn’t like her. “

With that Liam burst into our bedroom.  “Where my bear?” he asked.

Showing Liam Madonna.  “This is Madonna,  daddy got her when I was three.  She is yours now.” Matthew said.

Liam rushed over and took Madonna from Matthew.  “My bear,” Liam announced, with a large grin on his face.

Matthew nodded and Liam took off with Madonna. “You know I thought it would be hard giving Madonna to him.  It was wonderful, amazing.  He reminded me of me when I was his age.”

I hugged Matthew, “That’s because he looks like you.  It felt the same way when I gave Lennon to Chloe.”

We both got up and walked into the living room to see our two children playing with the teddy bears.  “Do you think they will give their children the teddies?” I questioned.

“Do you think they will survive those two?”

“They survived us.  I sometimes took Lennon in the bath with me.  I use to jump around in the mud,”

Matthew laughed.  “I used to jump around in the mud too with Madonna.  We are a fine pair.”

We stood and watched our son and daughter play with the gifts we had given them.  I thought for a moment, that when I was three I had no idea I would give Lennon to my daughter and it was one of the best things I’d ever done.