I was staying at a male and
female shelter in NYC and this man approached. He tried to hit on me, but of course I did not give him my attention. Don't ask me why, but later on, I decided to call him to me and planned a kiss on him that he'll never forget.
Next thing you know we clicked quickly and it was love at first sight. Well, my case manager reminded me of their no fratenizing rule but we and other couples in that shelter did not give a crap. That's what happens when your alone in the midst of those kinds of situations. I must admit, I was very scared of him.
I moved on to live in a Single Room Occupant. I was very in love with him. I had no clue that he lived a double life. He was still staying at the shelter, but would come over to visit me. I did not know he was a drug dealer. Well, we planned on having dinner at my place, but he didn't show up or answer my calls. When he finally picked my call up he says, "None of your business." After I asked him, "Where are you?".
The last time he comes over he reveals the crime he was apart of that involved drugs and that there's a search warrant out for him and I might not ever see him again. There it happened. I did not see him ever again.
Later on I moved back to Brooklyn and stop calling him jail. I even stopped my plans to visit him. My family said he came looking for me. He stated he even went to the college that I attended to search for me. Later on, I realized he turned out be a scary monster out to ruin my life. I'm a strong believer in Christ and he is a Muslim that tried bullying me to become so that I could end up worshiping allah just like him and be his ride or die chick. He wanted to be with me and another woman at the same time. I was never scared of him, but the marriage was scary because it was all about how he wanted things. If I didn't do his way, he would make fun of me, yell at me, call me names.
He wanted me attend this school for ex-cons. They accepted my subway ticket. I wanted to quick because I didn't like it. He yelled at me on the train in front of everybody. So, I went back cuz if I didn't I would hear his mouth. One of the ex cons in my Social Work 101 class said to me, "Akilah their gonna spit you out." I don't even know the dude. Most of the criminals in my class were men and very wild.
Many of the staff members are ex cons too and we're very disrepectful to me and that's why I wanted to leave. My exhusband was in a training program/working too. I guess he wanted those former criminals to continue the work of his bullying. I still got all right certifications. One of my teachers who blurted, "Jesus F***in Christ" twice in the class got fired for giving out to much money.
Before then, the dude and his supervisor waited the day before to fire me from his Transitional Training Program the day before graduation. I never had to face that. I never missed graduation from any program down through years. He would gossip about his co workers behind their backs to us in class. He had a very bad mouth. He did not know how to keep the "Street Lifestyle" outside of his workplace. One staff member didn't pay attention to what I wrote on their resume' form and she lied on my resume' messing it up. I had to ask her to correct it.
Here are other incidents at that "school. The Microst Word instructor who also had a criminal record. He was Mr. Speedy Gonzalez. Speed teaching. Wouldn't give time to write and notes down. I had a professor who was like that. She was a cigarette smoker and I truly do believe it's the nicotine that causes smokers to act dangerous when they get high on it. She caused me to suffer from low scores when taking her class.
It was very scared being with this man. He would tell at me even when I tried standing my ground to him. He once to me, "I rescued you.". But to become his slave, to please him, to obey me. He took my advice and moved out on me. One time when he came over to pick up some stuff, he showed me a whole bunch of pi different women instead of being with one good woman. He waited til later on to tell me, "I have something to tell you. I'm not happy. I'm not a one-woman man." After saying to me, "I remember that miscarriage you told me about and you didn't get pregnant yet so I have an idea to move this other woman in. If she gets pregnant we can be one big happy family. She can help you around the house. She likes you. My dream to two women by my side has finally come true."
He suggested that I rent the I rent the room. Of course I'm going to say no to that. When I was the only one at the homeless shelters here in NYC looking for housing and he was not helping me keep us in compliance while staying there. A complete stranger. Oh his crazy nasty self, "See it as a mission."?
So while he's in the bathroom cleaning his shoes I ask him, "Will you be having sex with her while I'm in here?". He answered me with an evil look in his eyes, "Yes"
He would interrupt me everytime I tried to sleep of have Bible Study. Yell at me everytime I brought take out food and accuse me of buying it everyday. He always insulted my weight when he did not share healthy food with me. Didn't buy much fruit and vegetables during our marriage. Why I got sick, he never was there for. Tried to get me to join 2 masques so I can learn how to cook and sow.
I worship Christ, so stop trying to bully me to stop. That what he thought marrying me would do. Trying to rush me to do everything. Always in a rush. Always disappearing when we're out somewhere. Always in his phone trying to cut my conversations off. When I thought we would be playing around, he would grab me tightly would beg him to stop. He was very mean and when your spouse shows you very scared behaviors you end up questioning why?
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