Submitted to: Contest #242

The Language of Love

Written in response to: "Write about two characters who meet and/or fall in love in a museum."

Drama Romance Funny

JR Wolfgang was not always an enthusiast of art. The interest sparked after the trial. JR was what one would consider to be a lost man; like most people in this world. The one difference between JR and most people was that JR could not accept this concept. JR could not stay lost. He spent a long time running from the feeling in any way he could. Escaping by means of any sort, substances being a major one. Through this toxic remedy he only wandered into a land of nearly no return. He only walked deeper into the woods. By the time he finally dealt with the wreckage of his past he was left with a stoic mind and hardened heart of stone. Scared of any feelings good or bad. A soul that longed for love, but a mind that longed for safety.

JR was fairly young; 28 years old. He forced himself to step outside of his comfort zone at times. He could hardly go in public without acting and feeling like a complete alien. He had become institutionalized and fearful of unfamiliarity, even though what had become familiar to him was isolation which was synonymous with misery. A major conundrum, one that would torture his body and mind.

In his efforts JR ventured to a museum in Connecticut. A small art museum, nothing renowned, but nonetheless a step for him. There was no particular reason he chose to do this. He simply researched things to do near him online and came across this exhibit. He decided not to go, the same way he did with everything. However, at the last minute something told him to do it and he listened. JR was tired of emptiness during outings. But he also feared the consequences of not pushing himself.

He paced the exhibit aimlessly, more interested in observing the people than he was in the art. A young foreign looking girl (around his age) that he noticed seemed to not understand something and approached JR with a look of confusion but also a look of familiarity and a look of things that are hard to explain.

He said nothing even though she looked at him directly, he had trouble maintaining eye contact. She looked for longer than someone normally would without speaking. Instead of saying anything she held her phone to his face. The screen displayed a translating app with English words that asked him if he knew how to "escape" this place.

JR became concerned after reading this but also couldn't understand her lack of urgency in regard to her question.

JR was a very tech savvy man, he was just an incredibly intuitive man in general. A master of creative problem solving and a master of thinking. Thinking was in fact his greatest strength and greatest weakness. JR was a double edged sword.

He studied very far into Spanish while in school and began studying it very seriously in college, this is prior to his downfall and early dismissal of education. Therefore he concluded before responding that the translating app must have been misinterpreting a certain word she used. He figured she must have wanted to leave the museum.

JR could not help but laugh; this confused the already confused girl even more. He was able to quickly understand the way the app worked and saw that the language originally spoken that was translated to English was Portuguese.

He assumed Portuguese was the same as Spanish and attempted speaking Spanish words, this was to only half avail. she seemed to somewhat interpret his sentences. He immediately realized that the two languages must be much different than he thought originally.

JR tapped the microphone button displayed on her phone but when he spoke into it odd and unfamiliar words were being written on the screen. He realized he needed to change the language to English in order for his words to translate to Portuguese the way hers were translating to English.

He asked if she was okay, just in case she really was asking how to escape. She responded by asking why he would think she wasn't. Rather than explaining he just let it go and said, "never mind."

He told her that he would show her how to exit. She followed him and they continued to communicate in this fashion. She was initially drawn by his patience with this and his ability to navigate something that has been a struggle to her since coming to the area.

He understood more than most about the language and the way the language was structured from understanding Spanish, and was able to quickly adapt to the Portuguese.

By the time they had reached the exit a connection was building. Something that would appear as an obstacle to most was something that was fun to these 2. It was something that immediately showed them a lot about each other. Before even knowing too many specifics about one another's lives, they knew what kind of person each other were. And were not distracted by the unimportant things.

The girl asked JR to help her go to a restaurant that she wanted to go to due to her difficulty with things like this. It was more of an excuse to stay around him which he suspected and hoped for. He nonetheless agreed.

JR sometimes (most times) would speak before thinking about what he was saying. JR struggled with impulsiveness. Therefore this means of communication that would hinder many, was benefitting him greatly by allowing him to process things first. Sentences needed to be carefully constructed and worded in order to translate correctly; he knew this from Spanish.

This also gave her the opportunity to see JR's true self, something that JR did not allow often at all. JR was the kind of person that gets better with time. He got better as you learned more about him and his talents. JR wouldn't let anyone get to that point.

Dinner went well and they were forced to sit close. Next to each other rather than across, in order to be able to communicate. This led to physical touch which was something that JR really liked and felt very comforted by. She felt the same way.

The 2 kept creating excuses to get together in ways like this and the communication only improved. This process led to a connection a level deeper than words allow. An obstacle became an opportunity.

JR Wolfgang and his wife built a life together. They built something unique and unmatched. They didn't have to overcome anything, because the only thing they saw when experiencing this journey together, was the fact that they were together.

Posted Mar 16, 2024
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8 likes 3 comments

Patricia Casey
13:54 Mar 23, 2024

Hi JR,

I enjoyed your love story from the meeting to the long-lasting marriage. I think if you added in some "show don't tell" scenarios that made you fall in love, it would help the reader to better experience your story. You tell us you met. You tell us you connected. You tell us how the translation app and your assistance with her needs helped draw you closer together. If you added in some dialogue and expanded on the incident where you were first in close proximity to each other, you could help the reader to feel what you felt.

Instead of "This led to physical touch," play it out. Did she touch you first or did you touch her first. What were your thoughts as it happened? Such as, "Her hand touched mine and fire flew through me." Did you show a reaction or stifle it so she wouldn't know how you felt? Who was more timid? Things like that help the reader to relate.

that was fun to these 2. (Spell out the number two--all numbers ten and under.

I hope this helps you.

Patricia

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Brian Haddad
04:37 Mar 30, 2024

I am here by way of the critique circle. I think the story you tell here is lovely. It's certainly speaking to something that resides deep at the core of the human experience. It's something that everybody wants, but many feel they might never have. There are married people who long for it, widows who mourn losing it, and 40-year-old virgins who yearn to have it with an anime character. You really can't go wrong appealing to that most human of desires, and I think you've done a good job capturing its essence.

By way of a little encouragement and critique, I will echo what Patricia Casey said though: challenge yourself to really SHOW your reader things. Appeal to the senses. Don't tell me that your character picks up languages quickly, show it.

For example, just a small snippet to show you:

***

"Oh," he said, searching the inputs and outputs of the translation app on her phone screen. "Hmmm... ¿Hablas español?" he hazarded, raising his eyebrows hopefully while his eyes darted to hers.

"Desculpe. Eu falo português." Her weak, embarrassed smile melted his heart. But he recognized "desculpe" and "portugues" so it was a good start. The rest of it was so different though. "Falo" didn't feel at all like Spanish. He grinned. This was going to take some work, but he was excited to dive into the problem.

***

Anyway, in a passage like that you can see that the character likes to solve problems, is already proficient in Spanish, and you even get a taste of his tech savvy nature. You don't have to tell your reader any of those things if you can show them instead.

I hope this helps. I see you are just getting started on Reedsy and I hope you'll continue to refine your storytelling technique. I'm sure you have a ton of amazing stories to share, and every method you can use to make your stories more engaging will serve to pull your readers in more!

Reply

Anne Perry
22:20 Mar 27, 2024

Nice! You describe well his psychological state. You might also want to delve into hers, especially if you are an omniscient narrator, which this part suggests: "The girl asked JR to help her go to a restaurant that she wanted to go to due to her difficulty with things like this. It was more of an excuse to stay around him which he suspected and hoped for." You do have some fragments & some punctuation things to fix. BTW, girl = under 18. You might call her a young woman? And maybe mention that they marry after the obstacle sentence toward end?

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RBE | Illustrated Short Stories | 2024-06

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