Summer's Winter

If there's a word I'll describe myself with it will be pessimistic, for I have a tendency of expecting the worst out of situations and people. This has made me more withdrawn over the years than what is expected of a normal introvert.

I had no friends. This wasn't because I was short of people stretching the olive branch my way. Rather, I was just too skeptical to take it.

Through several past experiences, I had come to know that the human mine is frickle, their relationships as fragile as a egg and as unstable as the wave currents at sea.

My lifestyle is quite simple, following a triangle pattern. Home, University and church, which is kinda ironic for someone who has trust issues. In all truth, I'll rather believe in the idea of a man in the heavens who I couldn't see and who wouldn't go about spilling my secret than trust in fellow men like me. With this little insight on my life, I'm sure you have come up with numerous theories about my minds condition. Well, non of that matters, at least not anymore. What matter though is the story I'm about to tell you. The story of how It all changed... Of how I changed.

It starts of with an overly bubbly , go lucky young woman. Who happened to be taken the same major as I was at the same University. We had almost every class together and to my dismay, it appeared she took notice too. To her, I was like some person drowning at sea that needed saving. She was hell bent on saving me. Always sitting by my side in class, trying to make small talk, going as far as to admonish me on why I shouldn't always look like I'm about to kill someone. I paid her no mind. To me, she talk too much, smiled too much like nothing in the world could affect her little joyous bubble. This irritated me to no end for reason I couldn't even explain.

She was a goody-two-shoes, never missing classes. It's not like miss classes myself but hers was taking it to a whole new level.  

She never seemed to have a dislike for any of the courses we took. Never found any of the professors boring or dislike their personality. She was always so focused, diligently jotting down every word from the professor's month like her life depended on it.

It's funny that though her name's is Winter, she was like spring. While I, who's was named Summer had everything but a sunny attitude. This all changed in our second year. The Happy go lucky Winter could no longer hold her smile. It wasn't obvious to the rest but it was to me. Probably because having no friends made me pick up the habit of being a people watcher. It was definitely not because I cared.

She still smiled, but it no longer reached her eyes.

One time she didn't make it to any of the classes we had scheduled for the day. Though I noticed, I wasn't really bothered enough to ask her click of friends.

I had gotten home that day, taken my bathe and even done some of the assignments that wasn't even due till the following month but after all this, I still felt restless. I had this mixed feeling that I couldn't use words to perfectly define. It was like an itch on my mind I couldn't reach out to scratch.

I wanted to be alone but yet in the company of people all at once.

It wast past six when I decided to head out to the community park. A perfect place for how I felt. 

I'll be surrounded by people's voice's and laughter as several activities would be going on and still be by myself on a bench just observing and breathing in fresh air. I had packed some sandwiches into a paper bag knowing fully well I'll be having my dinner over there. I set out for the park and I arrived there around seven o'clock.

I took my sit on my favorite bench which was by a huge oak tree, located in a secluded area of the park. It gives me room to observe everything and everyone without being noticed.

The moment I took out my ear pods in hopes to properly relax, I hear a voice that sounded like someone crying from behind the tree. Naturally, I was one to mind my own business. But the noice was making it impossible to do so. I had no other choice but to go around the tree to see what was happening.

To my surprise, it was Winter all curled up in a ball crying her eyes out.

"Excuse me is everything okay?" I asked which came out a little strained than intended. I really don't know how to deal with teary people.

At the sound of my voice, she raised her head and after realizing who I was she jumps to her feet and hugged me without my consent, making me go stiff while she continued crying loudly without any care in the world.

"Uhmm, are you good?" I asked awkwardly trying my hardest not to push her away. It was my first time seeing her cry. I thought I'll be happy to see that her life wasn't just sunshine and rainbows, but I wasn't. 

It took a while for her to finally calm down. When she eventually did, she let go of me with a small sorry. 

"It's fine" I said as I told her to follow me to the other side where I left belongings.

I offered her a sit and a bottle of water to calm her nerves. I didn't know if it was okay to ask why she was crying, but I don't do well with conversations so I had no clue on what to say that wouldn't sound wrong or unfeeling.

"You weren't in class all through today" I finally found my self say which made her look up at me in surprise.

"You noticed..." She said with a sweet smile which seemed weird to me. I mean, she was just crying her eyes out moments ago.

"Is everything okay?" I asked. 

"Not really...My mom and dad got divorced" She whispered not really minding the fact that she just told something so private to a stanger. By now fresh tears had begin to form.

"Hey, just breath okay, deep breaths Winter" I instructed in which she followed.

After a while she was calm once again.

"You know my name?" she asked once she was able to talk without tears falling like rain.

"Of course I do. I'm not dumb." I said trying hard not to roll my eyes at her.

"But you never say it!" she accused.

 "Cause there wasn't a reason to." I told her. 

"I'm sorry about your parents. I didn't know...you never seem—" I began to say but then she took the words right out of my mouth

"I never seem like someone who had any troubles" she said giving me a knowing look. She didn't look offended either.

"Yeah...but why?" I asked confused.

"The question isn't why, but why shouldn't I?"

"I mean what as me crying and you finding out done? What difference would it make? It'll only ruin my day and others faith that true happiness exist." She explained.

"But that's the truth, it doesn't. Love is perishable." I countered 

"It might be, but without ever experiencing it, one would have lived a wasted life." She countered back.

"So how do you feel now? Do you hate either of them or both of them?" I asked her.

"No! I couldn't. I love them both too much to let room for hate. It's their lifes, their fight. Sometimes things don't work out till the end and people go their separate ways, but those wonderful memories wont fade."

She told me with a genuine smile.

"But they hurt you. They were selfish. They knew this will hurt you, yet they went on with it. That's just evil."I continued to counter. With this she let out an hearty chuckle before responding.

"Summer, love is sometimes selfish. I'm a little disappointed, a ton sad, but I have learnt something in my short time alive, which is ; "people will hurt you, it's up to you to decide what matters, the pain? or the person."

"Life is to short to keep living it in fear of being heart broken. The heart was made to be broken and healed by love."

"Love is s battle filled Summer, only the brave can win and I believe you are no coward." She said looking at with with sincerity and a warm smile that for the first time I don't find annoying.

"How do you do it?" I asked out if the blue.Making her look at me quizzically.

"How do I do what?" She asked.

"How do you smile so bright even when in pain?" I asked clearly this time, which made a send a huge grin my way.

"Like this..." She said placing her index fingers on both sides of my lips and pushed it up.

I must have had a confused look on my face because she started laughing.

Just as I was about to tell her off, a rumbling sound was heard and I saw her place her hand on her stomach.

"Was that your tummy just now?" I asked with a mocking look.

"Shut up! I haven't eaten since lunch." She explained with a cute pout.

"Oh!! That's bad."I said as I ransacked my bag .

"Here I made some sandwiches. It should be enough for us both if you don't mind." I said handing her a few slices which she took with great joy.

"Summer, you've seen me cry and comforted me and I have told you my secret. We are even having dinner together. That means we are friends now!" She exclaimed.

"What are you? Five? That's such a childish thing to say. Plus it's just sandwich, it's nothing special."

I told her.

"I'm asking to be your friend silly. Just say yes." She said with an eyeroll.

"Yes?" I asked but she took it the wrong way. 

" Yes, yes! We are Best friends for life now" she said hugging me without my consent for the second time today. I the hug and the misunderstanding about the friendship thing be as we bonded over sanwish. It was mostly Winter chatting my ears to Oblivion. But for the first time, though dinner was simple and a little inadequate, I felt so full. A meal does taste better when with great company.