A Seasonal Rhyme

Maybe that is the thing about being too common, you don't really feel disconnected until you both get involved on an higher level.

Anyways, just like every other story mine has no specific start, maybe few milestones still complicated enough to call it off as a start or the end.

But for the old times sake, it was the summer of 2015, i enrolled for my graduation, it was our induction when i saw her for the first time and right away i got into denial. It feels kinda cool to not crush over someone who is the hot pick of your college, not to mention yeah i am that pretentious.

But whom will you lie that extravagant, carefree personality perfectly balanced with beautiful eyes and yeah super hot too, she was like everything i wanted or maybe i wanted to be. But for some odd reasons or i must say because of my super non attentiveness and not to mention how disciplined i am, it all did not started at that time, by the time i made my first class she was already involved with someone like perfect, i never regretted being a week late before in my life. But i just don't know there was always this sense of commonness like we share so many things in common, i always felt that common relation between our behavior, she always felt same. It was till 6 months we had no contact or you can say thanks to my shyness i always avoided it, but then there was this common college whatsapp group which just gave it a spark, so yeah i am funny and the best part is i knew it, i just held all my weapons and jumped right into the battlefield. It was all going great but thanks to the insecurities of her boyfriend it had to end, i was at relief though getting too much involved doesn't seemed right to me anyways but god help that temptation and that odd feeling of interacting with yourself while around her was something i was hell weak too resist. So yeah, finally after a long period of 2 years it all had to happen she was broke and i was inclined after a hell lot of drama and fights between her boyfriend and me it all started. She wasn't ready and so i promised myself to not force myself on her and we started with casual talks but not to mention the rush in our stars, our casual talks had no time limits when they got into long mid night calls to 24 hour calls no one has a track. It all started getting serious i was already down by my feelings for her and somewhere maybe a little bit but she was too. We started sharing good mornings and good nights and then falling asleep over phone calls it was all happening and i was all 6 feet drown in her, maybe it is the fault of our common immense sex drive intimate thoughts, intimate conversations, turned us from friends to friends with benefits in no time. From casual calls to casual hangouts to casual kisses to casual sex things escalated quickly. And we both graduated after being in the same college for 3 years it was the last few months we had for ourselves, but who knew the graduation will bring with it the turn of events and the shocking realization. We both started looking for colleges for post graduation and career like wise, it is then i realized maybe we do not have everything in common, when i was looking for opportunities to be together throughout post graduation she wasn't really into that thought. The thought of being in same college wasn't really that tempting for her as it was for me, but you know your warrior right? he does not get effected, i just kept on. i looked through hundreds of options that came under her specifications for the college, but every time i told her about the options and the things i was looking forward to she just lacked the kinda enthusiasm and excitement, as if she just don't want to stay or move forward in the relationship. And that is when it all came to me that even after sharing so much like everything in common there was this one thing we did not have in common that is our feelings for each other, the intensity was not same, the way we looked at us was not same, in short the love was not mutual. But who gives up so shortly no one i guess so didn't i, i gave myself a pep talk and just kept going, she repelled my love i came back stronger, she pushed me back i took two steps forward, she kept denying the union i kept convincing. And suddenly the fights, the insetting emotions and not to forget the overthinking(which i guess is something i mastered) they just had a higher weight than the beauty of it in our relationship. This is when for the first time i smiled when i didn't wanted to, i kept on but things were changed i was hiding my emotions and the thoughts that were hurting me and suddenly i started evaluating things, more worse i started evaluating myself, i had self doubts always and they were worse now. Events kept on unfolding and i kept drowning and then it was time, i needed courage, i had to stop the chase. It was time for the aquarius in me to understand that chasing is adventurous but even the greatest of the adventures need a halt to regroup, i started feeling it, once that was thrilling was turning into an exhausting journey, my mind was relentless like it has no stop, i was feeling so uneasy inside, i had no idea what to do but stop. That is when i finally gave up trying, but this is the thing about being common once you start seeing the one thing you lack, you don't find it in other, because guess what? you're both common. So, all that, that was looking like a bliss and a perfect match to you looks like nothing that you do not already have and suddenly all that effort you put in starts loosing there charm and after so many denials and rejection you loose energy to fight for the ordinary. But the real struggle started when you held back and they didn't came forward, that is the moment of realization and suddenly it all starts falling apart and the remaining pieces, you break them apart. And that is how once a musical revolution turns into a seasonal rhyme gets faded and charmless as time passes by.

And let me tell you this is not the end.