Run wild then be free

"Finally, I'm complete," we said in unison and flashed our best smiles at each other.

After a long night at the company where I am working, I am now getting ready to prepare my brother's breakfast. His name is Clarke. He's an 8-year-old sweet little boy with a rosy cheeks that would always tempt you to pinch (he doesn't like that though).

Every day for several weeks now, he gets up early and rushes to the door. There's not even a "good morning" for us. That little guy, he really forgets us every time he thinks of that comic book he's addicted to. I didn't bother to know what the comic was because it has been his hobby collecting such. Actually, there's been a bunch of comic books in his room. A little more and it'll now turn into a library of comic books.

"What's for breakfast, Sharpe?", he said that made me snap out of my memory lane. "I'm hungry," he softly whispered with his little palms in his now growling stomach. This boy, he really is very shy!

"Your favorite, egg omelet, pork tocino, ham, and hotdogs!" I cheerfully said so he'd start feeling a little bit warm towards me.

By the way, my relationship with Clarke has been severely damaged ever since our parents died. It was just last year, and I know that he has been blaming himself for what happened. I know he's too young to feel that, but it's consumed him already. It's just a shame that I cannot do anything about it at this point. Yes, I've constantly been reaching to him but he seems so distant. I've always reminded him that it's not his fault tho. But I think what happened really left a scar in his emotional stability and his whole life.

9 months ago, we went to a known beach in the Philippines. It was the famous Boracay Beach with white sand, and perfectly hot summer vibe. At night, there are festivities where beach goers get to party with the locals and drink to their limits.

At first, everything was running smoothly. We were by the shore as a family, watching all those people dancing, and singing, and drinking, basically getting as wasted as they can. As we were enjoying, we didn't notice Clarke going in the waters.

"Oh my God, where is Clarke?" my mom exclaimed when Clarke was nowhere to be seen.

"I'll try to ask the locals if they've seen him," I said in hope that he got drawn to the flock of people enjoying the night.

"Uh, Sir, did you see my brother? He's this tall, with fair complexion and blonde hair," I said describing how tall my brother was and some other features that would help them identify him.

"No, I didn't see him. Try to go to the info desk. They'll have someone to help you," a concerned lady told me.

I immediately ran to the info desk in hope that they'll have someone to help us. A lady asked me if she can do anything for me in a very calm way. Maybe I looked too tired and exhausted so she tried to calm me with her voice.

I was still catching my breath after running for almost 400 meters when she spoke again. "I'll have someone go with you in the meantime. I'll be alerting the authorities right away," she said, not showing any sign of nervousness. She remained calm and composed while I looked like I was about to cry.

We then ran back to the last place my family and I were sitting. Several seconds after we arrived, it doomed me. I can hear the sound of an ambulance and rescue vehicles. I was only gone for a few minutes, what happened?

"What's happening? Why are there so many people here?", I asked one bystander. He looked so worried and replied "I don't know, a couple rushed in the waters and they've been accidentally taken by the wave that's about to come back to the sea."

I fell right into my knees the moment I heard what the young man said. My parents came rushing to the waters thinking they've seen my brother when in fact, it was just a 10-litter gallon of water floating. They must have mistaken it for my brother because of the little to no light by the seashore. If only I knew that those were the last moments for us, I shouldn't have left. Maybe this didn't happen. And maybe we are still together.

To my surprise, my brother showed up with some food. He left us to surprise us with some food he tried to order earlier for us. He's just 8 years old but he already has this brilliant mind and sweet heart for us. Unfortunately, these same features he has that's supposed to bring joy to us all, became the very reason of our damnation.

I rushed to him, hugged him, and cried until he started asking me why. "Mom and Dad are being rescued. We were looking for you!" I exclaimed out of frustration, guilt, and anger. If only he wasn't this caring, loving, and intelligent kid, this shouldn't have happened.

I was taken aback when he started crying. Maybe he was startled with my sudden outburst. He tried rushing into the water when I grabbed him with my hand and carried him out of the place. I can't bear to see how the coastguard are trying to look for our parents in the dark cold waters and my brother slowly losing himself over this incident. It was depressing. It was like... dying.

"Kawawa naman sila," the people whispered watching us in pity as we went out of the scene. It's so painful knowing that your parents may already be dead and you are left on your own with a brother who's the reason of all that's happening.

The night passed by and my brother didn't stop crying. I was so annoyed and frustrated that I couldn't do anything. I don't know how to think straight. It's already 4 in the morning and I still can't get my sleep. The questioning of the police lasted longer than I imagined. With pain inside me, worries for my little brother, and agony for what has happened, it felt like this is the worst of the worst that happened to me.

Several days passed and my parents' bodies were never recovered. The coastguard never stopped with their search and rescue operation but to no avail. Those were the darkest moments of my life, I can say. But imagine how my younger brother was coping.

Every day, he tirelessly sat in front of the door as if he was waiting for our parents to come back. Every passing day, he'd ask me if when our parents would come home. I was so sad and depressed seeing him miss and long for our parents but I can't do anything to lessen it. I miss them, too, and luckily I've already forgiven him for what happened. "It wasn't his fault," I kept telling myself to stop me from blaming an innocent young child, not less than a brother of mine.

"It's my fault, isn't it?", he suddenly asked. I was caught off-guard. I couldn't speak. I couldn't say a word. After realizing that he's crying again, I found myself walking towards him. I hugged him for as long as I can remember. I didn't know how hard it was for him. The agony that felt is incomparable to him. It pained me seeing my brother who only wanted to surprise us, ended blaming himself for what happened to us. We stayed hugging each other until we felt tired of crying.

A month after the incident, we fled back to Canada. Our attorney walked us with the process of claiming what our parents left us. Luckily, they were able to save a generous amount that would send us both to college, and money we can use in our day-to-day living. But what's money when our true happiness is with our parents, right?

That's when my brother got obsessed with comic books. He had all sorts of books, collections, series, and fillers. It was like his way of coping. It was his way of forgetting the tragic ending of my parents. At least this way, he drifts out of reality. That's the only thing I know I can do to help him. But this one that he's been waiting for seems to be the most important part of his collections.

*Ding dong*

That was the sound of the doorbell. Clarke ran as fast as he could. After a couple of minutes, he came back, closed the door, and went to sit in the table.

The breakfast is now ready and I was surprised I can see his smile, a genuine one. I asked him as I wondered why. "What's with the smile, little bro?"

He then showed me DC's White Canary comic book.

"My story is complete. The story of White Canary is just like mine. She was considered as a villain, but I think she's not. There's more to her life that we should understand. We just need to give her a chance," he unbelievably said.

My tears fell once again. But this time, it's about the joy of finally seeing your brother break free of the chains that held him for months.

And I think these words also freed me from the darkness that's been wallowing inside me.

"Finally, I'm complete," we said in unison and flashed our best smiles at each other.