Light in the Darkness

It was so terribly cold. Snow was falling, and it was almost dark.

The old woman had been wandering in the woods for what seemed to her like a very long time. She knew that not too long ago she had been in a sunny, warm, peaceful place, but as she sought – something, what was it, someone, someone she loved, she couldn’t quite remember. She just knew the more she looked, the farther she got from the warmth and light and the more she forgot. She desperately wanted to return to the peaceful place, but was hesitant to leave off her search. She knew the person she was looking for was in the cold and dark, too, and every ounce of her being wanted to find the person. She had to remember this and remember who the person was. The darkness was becoming overwhelming and as the old woman began to shiver she wondered if she might lose her way and not be able to return to the place where she had been so content.

She could see little surges of light in her mind, but they always went dark after a minute, and then a pressing sorrow would come rushing over her. Suddenly she saw the brilliant light in her mind and a beautiful face accompanied the glow. She knew that face! She loved that face. It was Elise, her granddaughter. She had to find the girl. It was her granddaughter that she was seeking. The woman thought of her little granddaughter and shed a tear. The child’s life was hard, harder than the old woman’s had been. The old woman’s son and his wife lived a life filled with pain, sorrow, and struggle, and both were unhappy, fearful, and unkind to their children, often because of their own despair. She had tried to help them, but it was never enough for them to escape poverty. She had even offered to have some of the children live with her, but neither parent would let go of one child, much less more than one. If only she had taken her granddaughter anyway was the thought running through her mind as she came to a clearing.

She could feel the little girl. At times she felt as if her granddaughter was near, then other times she just held close her memories of the little girl. The memories renewed her energy as she approached a clearing. She could smell delicious food and feel a little warmth; she was revitalized in her search, having purpose and awareness of her quest to go along with the hope she now felt.

As she walked into the clearing there was a shimmery house, grand and beautiful. The sides were clean and white, and the windows glowed with warmth and comfort. The woman was certain this was where the smells of food were coming from and walked closer. She could see the house wasn’t real; it was there and not there at the same time, but oh so alluring.

Alongside the house was a little rumpled pile. The old woman’s first thought was that it was a pile of rags or a dog sleeping among some cast off towels. The old woman walked slowly and carefully toward the pile. She wasn’t sure why, but she felt drawn to it, to unwrap what was there. She slowly knelt next to the fabric and gently picked up a corner to peek underneath. When she didn’t see anything under the rags, she grew more bold and moved them around in a more determined manner. She had to see what was under the pile. But there was nothing. She had opened and shaken out each piece of fabric, and nothing was there but the ground, cold and hard. Her heart sank and she shivered in the darkness. Feeling she had failed in her quest, even the glow from the windows no longer warmed her heart.

She heard a shuffling, and just as a small hand touched her shoulder she heard a child’s voice, “Grandma?” She froze, not knowing what to expect, then turned. There was her granddaughter, looking down at her with an uncertain smile. The old woman’s heart warmed again as she wrapped her arms around the tiny child. She couldn’t believe how Elise had grown, but was yet still so small, and she was puzzled. How could her granddaughter be here? The old woman had passed away, almost two years ago to the day, missing the ringing in of the new year with her grandchildren. But here was Elise.

The grandmother froze. She released Elise and held her at arm’s length to look at her. She wasn’t sure what she was looking for, andt Elise’s eyes were also uncertain.

“What happened?” the old woman asked.

Elise looked around while holding on to her grandmother’s hand, afraid to lose her touch.

“I’m not sure,” she said quietly. “I was cold and hungry, and it was dark, but I couldn’t go home. I thought of you.” The little girl looked down at her feet. “I lit some matches to see some light and maybe be a little warm, but they went out. I saw you,” she said suddenly, her face lighting up.

“I saw you, too,” said the grandmother.

“Maybe that’s how we wound up together,” said the little girl.

“Maybe,” said the grandmother as she looked the girl up and down.

“I lost my shoe.” the granddaughter told the old woman, “A boy took it.”

“It’s ok,” said the old woman, “we can get you new ones.”

               She was beginning to feel a return to calm and warmth of the place she had been before. She took her granddaughter by the hand, and they began to walk, back the way the grandmother had come. The grandmother was more sure of her way now. The little girl looked back at the shimmering house as it began to fade.

               “Do you think it was real?” the girl asked.

               “Very real,” said her grandmother.

               As they walked the grandmother bent to pick up a shoe, the little girl’s missing shoe, and handed it to her granddaughter who slipped it onto her foot. The farther they walked the warmer it became. Even though it would still be dark for a while yet, the forest thinned and some moonlight crept in, helping them see their path. They walked along quietly, holding hands. Then the forest was gone and there was a cluster of little cottages with warm lights in their windows in front of them. The little girl walked along patiently as they headed toward one of the cottages.

               “You’ll stay here with me,” the grandmother told the little girl. “We’ll be together forever. I won’t ever leave you again.”

               The little girl smiled gently and followed her grandmother into the cottage. She hugged herself with happiness when she saw the soft bed, the quaint furniture, a pantry with food, and the warm fireplace. There was even a small kitten curled up on a rug near the hearth. The girl felt like her dreams had come true. Her feelings and memories of the cold and dark were fading. She could barely remember the boy who took her shoe, people yelling, or worrying about getting in trouble as she lit her matches behind the house. These images were fading quickly.

               She picked up the kitty and cuddled it to her. Her grandmother sat her down on the bed, took off her shoes, and tucked her in. The bedclothes were so soft and warm, and her grandmother lay beside her, hugging her. The little girl could hardly keep her eyes open.

               “I can stay here,” she thought, as she drifted off to sleep.