Bizarre, truly life affirming.

“ The room is unfamiliar. I don’t know how I got here “. Hilda nearly cries out as she walks into the office where she works. She freezes in time, space and panic and fear. She looks around in horror but the greeting from her colleague makes her jump back into herself both literally, figuratively and bodily. “ I’m at work at Moving Wheels, the car accessory company. I work as a customer service/ sales agent, she stressed. I’m Hilda Jones. It is 8.45 am and I start work on the phones at 9am, 15 minutes exactly. My target is 100 outbound sales calls a day as usual and as normal. I still feel strange, weird, madly in and out of myself, she mused. Hilda had never in her life felt like this before. She was very unnerved. It was like a sand whirlwind in the desert in her being. She felt as if her emotions were tossing and turning like in a sleepless night. Her Grandma had told her life is full of colours and numbers, which always made her laugh. She wondered what colour and what number this was, now. She made as if to stop. Then carried on walking. Her gait unbetraying of her distress. I'll go to the canteen to calm down as I do often, she thought. At least, its not to the bathroom as people do these days. She felt as if it was the start of the first lockdown in Covid in 2020. The uncertainty, unease mingled with fact and fiction. Onwards ever, backwards never, she sang to herself.

Hilda took a very long deep breath several times while making herself a cup of ginger and ginseng tea, her favourite hot drink.It always did and never failed to calm, settle, restore and invigorate her. She often used two tea bags as she did now. She went to the bathroom where a voice and physical urge shouted in her ear to be negative, recalcitrant, dishonest, deceitful and obsequious this morning. Hilda felt no pain, shame or discomfort in feeling and thinking this gnawing urge. I shall do so, she muttered to herself and smiled and laughed quietly and knowingly. A precursor to an unwittingly spate of events that would unravel according to Linda's acuity, perseverance and candour.

At the exact same time. Hilda’s twin sister, Hayley felt very uncomfortable, uneasy and ominous. She knew instinctively it was Hilda, something was not quite right. She sighed and said: “ I’m in meetings till lunchtime. I’ll text or phone Hilda then “. Their instincts and insights into each other were always spot on, right and exact. They were identical twins, albeit with very different personalities and character. Hilda was messy, pragmatic and a doer. Hayley was vastly organised, a thinker, a ponderer and a doer though unhurried unlike Hilda. They shared an unbreakable bond cemented and fostered since being infants, perhaps even forged from the womb and bosom.

They both turned 30 on Friday before this Monday. They had a rollicking night with their friends. They all talked unashamedly and extravagantly about their future plans ( romantically, financially, careerwise and wellbeing wise) all night long. They shared many moments of truth: joyful, bitter, positive, negative and spectacular and bizarre. By this time now, Hilda was not bothered whether she ended up in Heaven or in Hell. She knew she did her best, She felt fulfilled and satisfied. She always did her best and that is the most important and unswervingly true. The grand design was paramount The minute and microscopic details, a mere frustration and hurdles along the majestic tapestry of life woven by, of and for you.

The clock struck 9am, Hilda’s first call came in at 9.05, albeit an easy one. Then nothing, utter and pure silence. At 9.15, Hilda asked to see the manager and the supervisor Tom obliged. She sat down, sobbed and in between said her Dad had died last night of cancer. He had been ill for several months.. The Manager sympathised and gave her 2 months paid leave due to her ten years working there. She went home henceforth. The manager announced to the office and suggested a £3 donation to buy a wreath for Hilda’s Dad from all the staff. It made sense as they numbered 100 in the office. She told them, Hilda’s Dad wished to be cremated and his ashes scattered at the ferry port to Birkenhead in Liverpool. A favourite childhood spot and haven. Everyone sympathised and wished her all the very best. She drove home with a half smile etched on her face. A mildly exciting and exhilarating euphoria engulfed her passively but intentionally. Whatever comes of this, I'll take!

Two months later, Hilda walked triumphantly into the office at Moving Wheels, everyone welcomed her back wholeheartedly. This time she definitely knew where she was. In the office of Moving Wheels. This time she also knew definitely how she got there, by Uber.Phones as usual at 9am. At 9.30, she took an easy call. Then two other easy and straightforward calls at 9.45 and 10am. Then silence, utter and pure silence. At 10, she made an outbound sales call. Her colleague heard her loud and clear trying to sell car tyres to her Dad on the phone. Her colleague freaked out completely and irrevocably and alerted the Manager. Hilda was summoned by fiat to the Manager’s office, sat down again and sobbed. Between sobs, she confessed she had been lying and her Dad was alive and very well. She admitted she was having serious emotional problems. She was summarily sacked or resigned henceforth. Everyone was aghast, disappointed, angry, sympathetic, empathethic and worried for her. All in same way, time and place. They knew, they would never see her again. Even those who were her friends outside work. Both she and them would find it too embarrassing and awkward to see again. Hilda would make other friends and continue on her life journey. A journey that would need all the love she has in her. For who she is, unfettered, free and willing to enjoy her life in fantasy, freedom and peace. A cosmic secret and a plan to adapt, change and be unaccompanied by luggage for the rest of her life. Whichever you prefer or what you will. A colleague joked they should all get back their £3 contribution for the wreath. So here it ends. As the saying goes:” You cannot arrive if you have not left “.

The End.