Caught by Friendship

I hated that every morning I woke up to yelling. It is the worst way to start your day. Try as I might to make it disappear, it never did. I was stuck with it.

As everyone from my bus drifted into Salem Middle School, I scanned the crowded hallways and cafeteria for my friend Felicity Lambert, but soon I was scrawled across the floor, not having noticed the foot that was all too willing to trip me. I scrambled to pick up my things before everything got crushed in the stampede that is middle school when I heard my name being called.

“Ashlyn is that you?” The relief is probably obvious as I turn around, glad I had found her.

“Felicity!” 

“Guess what!”

“What?” I’m admittedly a little nervous because she can get these really ambitious plans that she wants me to participate in.

“I got us tickets. . .to the circus!!!!” she squeals. “It’s going to be amazing. The thing I’m most excited about is the acrobatics.”

“Woah, take a breath.”

“Come on, aren’t you excited?” 

“Of course I am. It's a circus!”

  Felicity keeps talking but I tune her out as we make our way through the packed hallways to homeroom. 

“When is it” I mouth. 

“Friday.” Suddenly this week was looking better.

Somehow we got through that week, and by Friday, I was so excited nothing could discourage me, not even my parents fighting around the clock. I was walking on air. 

“Ashlyn, your Dad and I need to talk to you” Mom’s words popped my enthusiasm like a needle. I had deflated and all that was left was pieces of a balloon. 

“We’re getting a divorce”. This couldn’t be happening. My parents were in love with each other! I was still clinging to the last hope that the arguing was all temporary. In a way, I guess it was, just not in the way that I had wanted. 

When I open the door a look of concern spreads over Felicity’s face. “What’s wrong?” She asks. I try the “nothing, I’m fine”, but I don’t expect her to actually believe me. Sure enough, she raises one eyebrow and waits.

“What’s wrong? You can’t fool me Ashlyn I’ve known you too long.” She is right, and that is why my guard falls, and “my parents are getting a divorce” slips out of my mouth in barely a whisper. Even as the words are still on my lips I can feel them strangling me yet I also feel relieved that I don’t have to bear it alone. 

The shock on her face is evident, and I feel like I can see her brain processing this new information. “How are you?” is the first thing she asks.

“I’m alright. Shocked and surprised, but ok.” She nods and looks up at me.

“Do you still want to go?” One look says everything, “Ok, let's go.”

As we pulled into the parking lot, my eyes tried to take everything in, but quickly we head inside to find our seats before the show starts.

“Sorry. Excuse me, Can I get by?” I winced at how high we were. I was terrified of heights. “Hurry, it's starting” I whispered to Felicity. 

“Get out of the way!” I would recognize that snooty voice anywhere. It was Claudia, the rudest person in Oregon. Before I can move she shoves me right over the railing!

Sometimes, in books or movies, you hear people say “my life flashed before my eyes'' and it sounds cliche. I will never mock that saying again. As I was falling through the air, I saw my life flash before my eyes. I remembered when I first met Felicity way back in Kindergarten and we both hid behind our Mom’s legs for a while before either of us said anything, and more recently taking algebra 1 two years before everyone else because I scored well on the placement test, and I remembered just this afternoon when I found out that my parents were getting a divorce. I remembered all of that in the blink of an eye and realized, at that moment, that I was going to die.

I have never been a religious person, but right there at that moment, I prayed to God for the first time. God? Hi. Yeah, it’s me. Ashlyn. I’m not even really convinced you are real, but like if you are can I like please not die? That would be awesome. Thanks. What was it church people always said at the end of a prayer? Oh, yeah-and um . . . Amen. 

A second later I felt somebody grab my hand. In shock, I looked up to see the trapeze boy grinning down at me.

“Trust me. We’ll catch you,” with that comment he threw me back into the air.

The next hour passed in a blur as I flipped through the air and was passed between different people. The only thing that made it slightly easier to move, to even force my lungs to breathe was the passing comments from the guy who caught me. 

“So what’s your name?” He asks one time.

“Ash-aaah” is all I can say before I fall again. 

“So Ash,” he asks next time. “What are your hobbies?” Part of me wants to correct him, say, it’s Ashlyn, but I don’t. As I roll the nickname around in my head I am surprised to find I like how it sounds.

“I love to read.” I flush realizing how nerdy it sounds.

He must have seen my face because he said- "That’s cool.” Before I can respond my life is in someone else’s hands.

“Hey,” he says, making his way through the crowd to me after the show. “You did great.”

I laugh, “Really?! The whole time I was focusing on not screaming.”

He laughs and it fills the room, loud and genuine. “Well, I’m glad you didn’t.”

“Thanks for catching me. . .” I trailed off realizing I didn’t know his name.

“Adam,” he provides, “ it was no problem. I was supposed to catch someone else, but I’m glad it was you instead..”

“Well, you helped keep my mind off of things.”

“Good,” he pauses, almost like he is nervous but then he shakes his head, clearly mentally chiding himself. “Ash?”

“Yeah”

“Can I. . . have your number?” Normally guys don’t ask for my number, but if they did I normally wouldn’t give it to them. Somehow, this felt different. He had just saved my life. 

“Yeah sure it's (274)236-4382”

“Kay, great. I’ll text you,” He stops typing to grin at me and then he turns away and vanishes into the crowd.

“I cannot believe they added you into the show like that! Did you plan it?” We were driving home after the show and Felicity was amazed.

“No. You know how much I hate heights, why would I want someone to push me over a railing? I was falling terrified for my life when some random guy grabbed my hands and said “trust me. We will catch you” Then throws me back into the air.”

“That is sooo cute!”

The last week before we are officially high schoolers passes in a blur, and before I know it I am accepting my “diploma” from eighth-grade graduation and hugging Felicity goodbye.

“I cannot believe you are leaving me all summer!” I exclaim!

“I know what will you do without me?” she grins, teasing.

“Well, you have to text me everyday.” I insist, “I’m gonna miss you,” I say softly. 

“I’ll miss you too,” she promises and then gets in the car to leave for Europe, the tradition in her family for the summer before entering high school. Her grandma did it, her Mom did it, and now her.

I flop back on my bed imagining the summer. They would probably consist of me reading, writing, being forced to clean my room, and reading some more. The saddest part was while I didn’t have many friends, I was still an extrovert. Felicity and I were practically inseparable. I’m not sure we are classified as friends anymore, more like sisters. This summer was going to be boring. Extroverted me stuck at home with my splitting up parents.

Bing. My notification sound jolted me back to reality. Who was texting me? Not Felicity-she was on a plane. Bing.  Who is that? Once I read my texts, the answer is clear. It’s Adam from the circus, and he wants to hang out with me.

“Hey Mom,” I am so excited I was pretty sure my face was going to start hurting from smiling so big. “Can I go to Starbucks to meet a friend?” We were friends. This is new territory for me, I have never had a guy friend before. Or, any friend beside Felicity. 

“Sure, sweetie, but who is it? I thought Felicity was in Europe.” 

“Someone I met at the circus,” is my reply, “he’s nice.” I had to be careful with my words because if Mom knew I had been pushed out of the stands she would never let me go anywhere with Felicity again.

“Maybe I will come along.” I start to protest but she raises her finger. “I’m sure he is plenty nice, but we just don’t know the guy very well yet and I want you to be safe. So I will let you go in first, then after two minutes I will come in sit at a separate table while you chat with your friend. That way it’s safe.” 

As she is saying this I have the strong temptation to groan, but I hold back realizing the truth in her words. What do I know about Adam besides that he is in the circus?.

“Ok,” I agree. 

As we pulled up to the Starbucks I couldn’t help being nervous. It was my first time hanging out with someone besides Felicity in a long time. I even looked up some questions to ask someone you just met and stored them on my phone.

I walk in and immediately spot Adam, and can’t help grinning.

“Hey”

“Hey,” I reply. “I don’t come here often--do you have any suggestions?” When he doesn’t respond I glance over and notice him absorbed in the menu. “Adam?”

“Huh?” He looks genuinely confused, “What did you say?”

“I was just asking if you had any suggestions? I don’t come here often.”

“Oh!” He exclaims, relief evident on his face, “I don’t come here often either. “ Cue the nervous laughter, “but, the Mocha Cookie Crumble Frappuccino looks pretty good, but that's probably mostly chocolate. If you want actual coffee, you could get the Java Chip Frappuccino. That's what my Mom gets and she drinks her coffee black.,” he shrugs, “it’s just your preference..”

My mouth gapes at him and it makes him blush furiously.

“What?”

“I thought you didn’t come here often”

“I don’t, I just used the menu, common sense, and past experience.”

“You gathered all of that from the menu?! The way you said it I would have thought you worked here, you’re very perceptive.”

He blushes again. “Yeah, I guess so. Moving a lot does that to you, I suppose.”

“If you could live anywhere where would you live? It doesn’t have to be a place you have visited or even a real place, either, it can even be fictional” 

“Heaven,” he responds without a beat, “because that is where my Dad lives.”

My mouth forms an o as that sinks in. “I’m sorry.” 

“It was when I was little, so I didn’t really get the chance to get to know him. I don’t know if that makes it harder or easier to move on though, y’ know?” I nod, and he looks away. “Thinking about him just makes me miss what I never had.” He adds wistfully then is quiet as I ponder what he says. “Let’s talk about something else.”

“Ok.,” I say “What motivates you to work hard?”

“That’s a good question. What made you think of that?”

“I. . . looked up some questions before we got here.” 

He laughs out loud and I blush, embarrassed.

“That is” *giggle* “awesome! I can’t believe you thought to prepare for this..” Just like that, at that moment I knew this summer wouldn’t be so bad, not with a friend to keep me company.

A couple of days later, we were at the park taking a walk with his dog, Sadie, talking about everything and nothing all at once.

“How often do you move?” the question pops into my head and I can’t help but ask.

“A lot. Probably once every 6 months or so, just following the show. I sometimes look forward to moving now because it is a fresh start. I have met people over and over again, but the way I met you was an original.”

“Yeah. . .that was terrifying. This is a good one-what makes you laugh the most?”

“Sadie. She does the weirdest things, makes the funniest faces, and loves everyone. What about you?”

“Probably the dumb things. Like when somebody does something really stupid or says something ridiculous, it makes me burst out laughing until I have tears running down my face and I can’t stop.” I add, “Once I start laughing I pretty much always end up crying, and I can never regain my composure.”

“That is awesome.” he pauses thoughtfully, “Can I say something weird?”

“Sure,” I respond hesitantly,

“There is this lady, sitting on that bench over there, who I have seen before. You know where?”

He’s talking about Mom. “Where?”

“Starbucks, the park, and the movie theater in the same movie.” He sounds so proud of himself for noticing that it takes all of my willpower not to giggle. 

“Y’know what I think?” He takes a dramatic breath, “I think she works for like the FBI and you are on the run.” He starts to crack up as soon as he says it, clearly joking. 

“She actually is your Mom, isn’t she?” He smirks at me, knowing he is right by the dumbfounded look on my face.

“How did you figure that out?”

“Well, it makes sense. She doesn’t know me, you barely know me and coincidentally she was there at the same place as us. I just connected the dots.”

“Ok remember when I said that you were perceptive?”

“Yeah. . .”

“I was totally right. That is my Mom. C’mon, I’ll introduce you.”

“I dunno.”

“She won’t bite, I promise."

“Oh alright, fine.”

I drag him over to where Mom is sitting, and surprisingly true to her word she acts like she doesn’t know us until we are standing in front of her.

“Hey Mom,” I say. “This is my friend that I was telling you about, Adam.”

“Hi,” Adam says with a shy wave, which is strange because Adam is a lot of things but shy is not one of them. 

“Hello Adam,” Mom says politely. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Well we're gonna keep walking, so I’ll see you later.” It may have been just me, but that situation seemed very awkward. 

“Well I gotta go,” Adam says breaking the silence.

“Ok,” I say, my thoughts still drifting, before realizing what I was going to say. “Adam, wait up,” I call running to catch up with him.

“Yeah?”

“Why were you so nervous to meet Mom?”

The words hang in the air and the silence is so loud it’s suffocating.

“I,” he starts, stops, and starts again, “People have always looked down on me and my Mom because my Dad isn’t around. They assume that he ran off with someone else, and I was so tired of people assuming without knowing the full story that I fell into the same trap myself. I assumed that your Mom wouldn’t want you hanging out with me if she believed the same rumors that everyone else does.”

“Wow”

He smiles sadly, “Now I really have to go. See you later, Ash.”

“Bye.” I wave, liking the nickname he gave me.

It is very refreshing to spend time with someone who doesn’t know much about you because you can talk about practically anything. They don’t know your stories from Kindergarten, because they weren’t there. They don’t know about the time you were dared to eat a minnow straight from a lake-and did. It is such a beautiful thing to get to know someone for the first time.

So you can imagine my disappointment when summer is almost over. The fact that Adam is leaving has not really resonated before now, but he is.

“Do you ever miss your Dad?” I ask. After realizing that part of the reason that time is so valuable is that we spend it so quickly, I want to know more about him.

“Every. Single. Day. In the beginning, I thought that I would eventually stop missing him, but I don’t”

“My parents are getting a divorce, and my Dad is moving.” I sound so devastated that the fairy tale of my parents' marriage is ending. 

“Oh wow, I had no idea,” he says and leans over to hug me. A hug that manages to comfort me in a way that no words could ever do.

When I pull away, he adds “I’m sorry.” And I know he gets what it is like to feel like you are losing a parent, even if my dad will still be alive, we both know it won’t be the same. For a while we just sit there together, neither of us wanting to let go, knowing that when we do Adam will have to leave. So we sit and cling to each other, neither of us talking, because sometimes just being there is enough.