Mirror Shards

“Alright. It looks like everything’s in order.” Selene’s elegant fingers typed on the keyboard. “Now, before I send everything off, are you absolutely sure you want to do this? If so, there’s no going back. Everything will be erased.”

Seated on the other side of the dark brown desk, the dark-haired woman crossed her legs and straightened up. “I’ve never been so certain of anything in my life. This has to be done. I need a clean break.”

‘Right. Like I haven’t heard that line before.’ Selene thought. “Okay.” She clicked the mouse, and the screen changed to a filled-out form, along with a confirmation for enrollment. She printed the documents, placed them in a folder then handed it to her client. “Show up at the address on the confirmation page on Monday at eight in the morning. These people will help you further along than I can, and don’t worry. Everything is confidential, and no one will ever know you for your now-former self.”

The woman stood up with a relieved sigh. “Thank you, Miss Ridgeway.”

“Don’t mention it, Miss Smith.” They shook hands then Miss Smith left the small office.

Selene groaned as she sat down. She closed her eyes and sat in silence until her mobile chimed. “Ugh! Now what?” The noise indicated she had a new message but thankfully, it was from Benny. Smiling, she opened the message and read that her boyfriend was getting off early and wanted to meet her for lunch. “Great timing. No more clients for the rest of the day.” She typed a quick response with where to meet and when then put the device away.

As she packed up to leave, she suddenly wondered how Benny managed to get off his shift early. She hoped the coffee shop wasn’t losing customers but that couldn’t be it as every time she went in there, it was fairly steady. Maybe he needed to speak with her about something? Selene shook her mermaid-green head at the thought of Benny being serious about anything besides his video editing, checked to make sure she had everything then locked her office and got into her purple Nissan Rogue. Selecting one of her favorite podcasts, she eased into the lunchtime traffic and drove to meet her boyfriend at Tozi, which was a stone’s throw from Victoria Underground Station.

Already seeing Benny out front waiting for her, Selene quickly parked then went to meet her barista boyfriend. “Hey, babe.” She greeted with a kiss.

“Hey yourself, love.” He put an arm around her shoulders and lead them inside. “How’s your day been?”

“Two clients today but they were heavy duty. I sometimes I ask myself why I keep doing this.” They sat at a table a bit away from the rest of the patrons. “It’s almost too much to bear some days as people come to me with a lot of baggage, and that’s putting it lightly.”

“You’ve had a lot of those lately. You think people are doing it because it’s the thing to do?” He scanned the menu but was more focused on his girlfriend.

“Maybe, or maybe they really can’t stand their lives anymore but don’t want to commit to the permanent solution. Although, if you ask me,” she paused as the server came over for their drink orders. “paying for my services is just as detrimental to whatever friends and family these folks still have.”

Benny nodded and took her hand. “It sounds to me, and I’m just an outsider looking in, that they don’t like what they see in the mirror anymore and want to break it.”

“I never thought of it that way.” She sat back as their drinks were brought. “Ever think of becoming a counselor, Benny?”

He shook his head. “You know me. I’m too much of a jokester to take someone else’s problems seriously. There’s only three things in life I take to heart: you, my job, and my video editing.” He sipped his water. “But there’s something I did want to ask you about.”

‘Here it comes.’

“Would you be willing to do a favor for a friend of mine? More of an acquaintance, really.” She raised an eyebrow. “They’re not quite looking for a full reset. More of a, how did they put it? Holiday?”

“A holiday? What is this? Brave New World? I don’t give out soma or anything of the sort. It’s all or nothing.”

“But don’t you know anyone who can help with this sort of thing?” Their server came back and they placed their orders.

She shook her head. “Like I said, I only know people who can do the job completely. There’s no half-arsed way of doing it. Some have tried before and it’s always turned into a mental mess. The mind is caught between the new life and the former, leading the client to become a paranoid schizophrenic.  Not a pretty sight.”

“What happens to them?”

“Some end up in the psych ward while others apply the more permanent solution as they can’t take the hallucinations anymore.” Their food was brought and she dug into her buffalo ricotta ravioli. Selene looked at her boyfriend. “By the way, this isn’t one of those roundabout ways of asking me to do something for you, is it? If it is, something you wanna tell me?”

Benny shook his head. “No way! I like my life too much to go through with anything like that. It’s…” he looked around to make sure no one was nearby. “It’s for someone I know at work.”

“Not anybody you work with, I hope.”

He shook his head again. “One of my regulars who isn’t quite happy with how things are turning out for them. They came in for the afternoon bar and spilled their guts to me a few days in a row. I may have kinda mentioned what you do as I felt sorry for the poor chap.” Her blue eyes widened but she let him finish. “I know I’m not supposed to vocalize your ‘profession’ as it could land us in a lot of trouble but it was a real tear-jerker. Think Adam and Jamie were on the verge of letting the waterworks go when the guy was finished speaking.”

Selene sighed and pinched her nose, suppressing a growl. Leave it to her softie of a boyfriend to jeopardize her life and his. “And did you tell this ‘poor chap’ my name and where my office was?”

“Only where your office was, but that was before I knew you could only offer all or nothing. I thought there was some sort of in-between.”

“Well, now that you know there isn’t, you need to tell your customer what the deal is then see what they say. I’ve already jumped through this hoop before and most reconsider then go with keeping their lives the way they are. Hopefully, this one will do the same.” They finished their lunch with lighter conversation then parted ways, agreeing to meet for dinner later. Selene made her way back to the flat she shared with Lilian, Tiffany, and Trixie to find that it was empty.

“Good. At least I can finish up a few files without Trix blaring her EDM playlist all afternoon.” Heading to her room, she left her door open halfway so she could hear when someone came in, watered the small cactus on her desk then threw herself into her work.

“Wow,” she said to herself a few hours later as the sky was beginning to get dark. “I can see now why Mrs. Claymore wanted to do this. Ugly divorce proceeding, scumbag husband trying to take everything from her, including the business she built from the ground up.” She shook her head at the pettiness of the human race. “Who knew decades of love could devolve into such hate? Hope me and Benny never get to that point. I suppose she figured she wouldn’t have to cope with it if she went to a ‘reset firm.’” She continued to read further and learned that not only was Mr. Claymore bleeding his ex-wife of thirty years dry; he was also demanding alimony. “Most likely so he wouldn’t have to work or worry about remarrying. What a wanker. And I thought the ones who came to me were fractured. This guy sounds completely shattered.”

She then heard the front door open and Tiffany’s voice call out, “Anyone home? If there is, I could use a hand.” Selene put the file away then went out to see her flatmate carrying several grocery bags. “Hey Selene! Wanna give me a hand before I drop these?”

“Aye. What’d you purchase anyway? These weigh a ton.”

“Just some groceries for the next two weeks, plus some stuff we were running low on. Guess everyone’s been so busy, no one thought to go to the shops.”

“Yeah. Apologies. My work’s been so heavy lately, I feel like I barely have time to sleep and see Benny.” She helped put everything away then, deciding to take a much-needed break, made some tea. “You want some?”

“Please! I need to unwind after today too.”

“Bonkers at the coffee shop?”

“You have no idea.”

“Feel free to speak to me about it.” Over the next thirty minutes, Tiffany talked almost nonstop about everything that happened during her shift from the busier-than-usual mid-morning rush to one of the regulars spilling a sob story to the point of the whole staff on the verge of tears. ‘So, everybody there heard about it. I can only hope Benny wasn’t too loud in his suggestion.’

The front door opened again and Trixie and Lilian came in, along with Ryan and Adam. “Evening, ladies.” The keyboard player said. Tiffany greeted him back while Selene only nodded. ‘Great. Now I have to chit-chat with everyone.’ The next hour was filled with all of her flatmates talking about random things, with Ryan and Adam interjecting every now and then.

Selene was more focused on what Benny asked her earlier, and barely noticed her mobile going off with a message from her boyfriend. ‘Oh crap.’ “Apologies, everyone, but I’ve gotta meet Benny for dinner. See you later.” Racing out the door, she managed to get to Skylon in record time. “Hey, babe!” She ran to meet him then they went inside. “Didn’t mean to keep you waiting.”

“No worries, love.” He kissed her. “I just arrived only five minutes ago. You okay?”

“Yeah. Had to work on a few files at home, and I’ve been rolling over what you asked me.”

“About that. I went back to the Café Bean for a few shots, and the regular I told you about was there. Well, I ended up sitting at the bar with him for a few hours, and he practically begged me to help him.” They were seated then ordered cocktails. “I don’t know what to do, Selene. Isn’t there anything you can do?”

She sighed. “I was hoping this wouldn’t be brought up but since it has been, let’s roll with it. Have your acquaintance email me and I’ll meet with them in the morning, despite it being my day off. I’ll talk to them and see which direction I should push them in. Deal?”

“Deal, and you’re the best!”

“And don’t you forget it. You seriously owe me for this, Benjamin.”

He crossed his heart. “I promise I’ll pay you back ten times over, no matter what.”

“You can start with paying for dinner,” and she ordered one of the more expensive entrees, but he knew better than to object. Like lunch, the conversation turned to a lighter note and the couple spent about two hours at the restaurant, sharing a dessert and one last drink before heading home.

“You sure you’re alright to drive?” Benny asked as they walked to their autos.

“Two drinks aren’t enough to faze me in the slightest. I’ll phone you when I get to the flat.”

“Alright, love.” They kissed. “Speak to you soon.” Before she could start the engine, he motioned for her to roll the window down. “Also, can you find out if Adam’s coming back tonight? If he is, I wanna make sure he does his dishes he left in the sink earlier. Last time, he bugged out before I could say anything then didn’t do them until after his shift the next day. Kinda tired of cleaning up after him lately.”

“I’ll find out for you. Evening.”

“Evening.” Waving to her boyfriend, Selene pulled out of the lot and made it home in about fifteen minutes. As she entered the flat, she saw Lilian and Adam on the sofa, watching a film. She looked ready to pass out while he was completely involved in the screen.

“Ahem.”

“Oh, hey Selene! When did you get in?” Adam asked.

“Just now. Benny wanted to know if you were coming back to the flat tonight and if you were, to do your dishes before you pass out. Said he’s cleaned them up the last few times you’ve left them in the sink.”

“Yeah, I’m heading back after the film’s over, and I’ll be certain to clean up my mess before I head to bed.”

“Might wanna message him so he doesn’t think you’re blowing him off. I’ve got more work to do before I get some sleep.”

“Night Selene.”

“Night Adam.” She went into her room after seeing him take out his mobile and closed her door. Her laptop had a notification on it from her inbox and she immediately opened it. It was from Benny’s customer, and he was pouring his whole soul into the message. As she read it, her emotions dashed back and forth between sadness and anger at what was going on in this guy’s life, or what he perceived to be going on. “Lord’s name! Either he’s really laying it on thick or this is for real and he seriously needs help. Whether it’s from me is yet to be determined.” When she got through the lengthy email, she replied simply with, ‘I don’t know if I can help you but I’ll at least meet with you. Come to my office at 9 am and we’ll discuss your options. P.S. Tell no one, and I mean NO ONE, where you’re going or what you’re doing. Discretion is a must.’

Pushing back from her laptop, Selene rubbed her eyes. “Why do I do this? Do I get some twisted satisfaction out of helping someone erase their past? Do I feel like I’m helping them? Is there something wrong with me? Am I…?” she didn’t want to complete that sentence and went to the bathroom to splash water on her face. Adam had left and Lilian was asleep on the sofa, and would be for at least another hour. Selene felt some relief as the cold water hit her skin. It was temporary as she dried her face then looked in the mirror. Her reflection looked back, the same as ever but she felt like something was lurking beneath the surface now. Something that wanted to break. She wondered again why she did what she did; if it was really worth the paychecks and the possible cost of her sanity.

‘Do I make this client tomorrow my last one? Do I check myself in somewhere and confess it all? Can I do that to myself and to everyone I’ve helped? Have I really helped anyone? It’s not like they’d remember.’ All these thoughts ran through her head so fast; she felt a headache coming on. “Where’s the damned aspirin?” She opened the medicine cabinet and halfheartedly grabbed the bottle then threw two pills down her throat. “Ugh! That’s awful stuff. I hate pills.”

She shut the mirror door too hard and caused it to shatter into the sink. “Damn.” She looked at the glistening shards and carefully picked them up but still cut her hands. “Damnit!” She threw them in the wastebasket then tried to clean up the wounds and bandaged them. “Shit. Still have to clean this up then pay for a new mirror.” Selene looked into the spider-webbed surface, seeing her reflection in pieces. “Shattered. Broken. Just like everyone else.”