Dear Opal

The pan sizzled and smoked as Eris prodded the meat and vegetables with a stick. Morning light graciously filtered through the drapes leaving hints of the sun on the dark floorboard. The couch was sprawling with various pillows and blankets each one seemingly more comfortable than the next. Under any other circumstances, the cabin on the mountain may have been considered cozy, warm, or even relaxing. It was a shame those weren’t the circumstances. 

Eris turned off the stove top and examined her makeshift meal one final time. She flinched and let out a small yelp when the hot grease splattered onto her hands. Little red flecks, white raised lines, and faint brown slashes were little indications that this was a daily occurrence. While the pan cooled, Eris grabbed a piece of charcoal from the cold fireplace and wandered over to the adjacent wall. On the far left there were faded lines equalling a total of 27. She headed to the far right and stopped in front of the new, darker scores. She counted in her head, five, ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty-five. Her hand trembled as she took the charcoal and added a second line to the next group. She heaved a deep and dejected sigh, and somberly returned to her work for the day.

Most days Eris would spend her time writing letters she couldn’t send, collecting wood she could never use, or staring out at the sea and the vague islands beyond that she could never visit. It was a dull and fruitless life, so she often didn’t allow herself the pleasure and heartbreak of wishing, wanting, or remembering more. Life hadn’t always been like this, and she knew it wouldn’t be for much longer. As we all do, Eris feared that “what comes next” would be worse. The only thing she feared more was not living to see what comes next.

So Eris took this day, and tried her best to prepare. She collected her books and journals and wrapped them carefully in a thin blanket and some twine. She found a small wooden box to store her jewelry and a few photographs. She kept a locket along with the smallest photo she could find and stuffed it in her pants’ pocket. While scouring through her few belongings, she came across a piece of folded parchment with the words, To My Little Owl, on the outside. The letter didn’t have the author’s name, but from the day Eris first found it she knew it was the work of her mother, the only person who called Eris by her nickname. Unnerved by the sudden reappearance of the note, Eris tried to not spend much time dwelling on it. She delicately placed it on the stationary and resumed packing.

When the sky began to darken, she opened the drapes and stood at the window so she could watch the sunset. This may be the last one I ever see, she thought. She tried to push that notion away, but she didn’t have the strength. However sad and bleak it was, she knew it was true. Eris stood there for a while trying to soak up some of the warmth and store it some place she could never forget. Finally, the sun disappeared below the horizon. She rushed to light the lantern before night crept in and swallowed her whole. With her lantern lit, she looked out at the dark sky; it was empty except for the little bits of heat speckled across the galaxy light years away. She made her way back to the stationary and began to write her final goodbye.

Dear Opal,

This is my last letter to you before I go. I know it will be soon. I have tried my best to hide, but you and I both know it is all in vain. They always find you, it is inevitable. Even in this place so terribly far away, there is no hope. All attempts are futile. 

You are the only reason I have lasted this long. I want you to remember that. I tried Opal, I really, really did. Maybe I could have tried harder and maybe I should have, but I don’t think it wise anymore. The more I try to escape this, the more I end up leaving behind. They have chosen me, I don’t know why, but they have. I think I must accept my fate, however harrowing and tiresome. I now believe it to be the only way. 

I will miss you more than you could possibly know. I hope you know that my absence is not the result of my lack of love, but because of my abundance of it. Living without you is worse than being gone. I know you will not think that, but I know you will understand. You are very intelligent and I want you to enjoy your life. Do all the things I wish I could’ve done, but never got around to. Think of mother and me sparingly, but fondly. Do not let my leave damper the joys that are yet to come.

I assume you have found this letter when I told you to come, the 28th day after my departure into the mountains. If so, I should already be gone. You will find my belongings next to the door, please take care of them. If your fate should ever become mine, heed my warning, do not hide like I have. Face them head on sister, you are stronger than me. Forgive me, I know I speak like you understand the dangers I face, when in fact you do not. I will try my best to illustrate my situation to you, starting with what you know.

27 days ago, I was chosen as one of the seven to leave for the moon. In our country, most people see this as an honor. At least that was their excuse when they took our mother. However, just like mom, I knew better. So I left home, I left you, in hopes I would succeed where even our own blood had failed; I believed I could escape my calling. My arrogance quickly deteriorated as time went on. I began to take note of slight changes in the forest surrounding me. I found smooth little stones littered through the woods, miles away from the sea or river. I studied large depressions in the soil unlike any native animals. Opal, they know where I am. They are just waiting. 

You must wonder why I try so hard to run from this voyage, especially one of such privilege, so I will tell you the last thing she told me: They can’t send people to the moon, because there is no moon.

Eris stopped as she wrote that line. She placed her hand over her mouth and held back a sob. She was almost too scared to admit how truly terrified she was. She was being forced to leave everything behind and for what? A suicide mission? A human experiment? Perhaps the most frightening thing was that she didn’t know, or perhaps it was the knowledge that whatever happened, she would never return. She felt so hopeless. In the loneliest and most selfish part of her heart, she wished her sister could go with her. Eris would have settled to just spend a few more moments with her. Tears ran down her face and hand, leaving them wet and salty. She slid her mother’s note over, scratched out her nickname, and replaced it with Opal. After a few moments had passed, she calmed herself and hesitantly returned to her letter.

This is significant news, I am well aware. From what I’ve collected, the moon has been gone for many centuries.  Why they still say it still exists, I don’t know. I'm sure you have lots of questions and I wish I could answer them all, but they will be here soon. I’ve placed mother’s parchment along with this message and my possessions. It will explain everything much better than I ever could.

I love you. Please do not worry, I am certain we will meet again. 

Take care,

Eris White

Your loving sister

And with that, the letter was tucked in a white envelope and sealed. The boxes and bundles were placed by the door. Everything was ready, except Eris. She glanced at the tally marks on the wall and was reminded of her ignorance. I will last longer than my mother, she had thought. Her head pounded with anger, why was she so stupid? She had been so determined to outrun change, outrun her death that she spent her last days alone. She was about to be gone forever and what did she have to show for it? A couple of good grades? A deserted sister? She was done hiding. She stormed over to the entryway, steam practically rolling out of her ears, and ripped the door open.

“COME AND GET ME COWARDS!” Her voice was hoarse, but screaming was so liberating. “I’VE ALREADY LOST EVERYTHING I LOVE, TAKE ME ALREADY!” She thrashed around the woods half yelling, half crying. She kept on for what seemed like hours until her voice was barely a whisper. Eventually, her legs began to give and she stumbled into a softer patch of dirt. There, she quietly slept unaware of the owls hooting in the distance or the movement surrounding her. 

Eris awoke on the lower bunk in a grey room. Her hand flew to her chest, her heart was beating. She wondered if hearts beat in heaven, or hell. Her hand also fell upon a thin chain with a cool piece of metal at the end. She lifted it up. Her eyes widened; it was her locket. She opened it. Inside there was a small photo of her family, the two girls looked so happy and the woman so regal. She swallowed a lump in her throat and shut the locket. 

After a few spells of lightheadedness, she made it past the rows of bunks and to the door. Her recent memories were dazy, but for whatever reason she wasn’t scared. She was able to take note of what she was wearing, a blue cotton shirt and pants with a circular emblem on the breast pocket. Her mind was too hazy to make sense of the words embroidered on her clothes, but the letters felt familiar.

She plodded down the hallway to the right, placing her hand on the smooth wall to help hold her weight. She began to feel better, but keeping her balance was still difficult. After a while it almost felt like the hall itself was titling. She passed by several sizeable rooms filled with women and men working diligently on thin tablets and headsets. Most people ignored her, but the few that didn't seemed unimpressed. Abruptly, a clean cut man wearing scrubs emerged from the connecting corridor and stopped in front of Eris.

“Ms. White,” he staggered back, “You’re up.”

The man guided Eris down passageways and through doors. On the way he said his name was Daniel and that he worked in the health wing of the vessel, he responded vaguely when she asked what the vessel was or where they were. While they walked in silence, Eris’ memories were becoming more coherent. She remembered more and more of last night, or what she assumed was last night. Although Daniel and the rest of the people weren’t exactly threatening, her adrenaline started pumping. She looked for an escape, but as far as she could see the “vessel” was windowless and built like a maze. 

Finally, they reached their destination, a large metal door with a circular keypad. Daniel swiftly scanned his ID, muttered a kind goodbye, and went on his way. Eris stepped back as the doors swung open. A 20-something woman with short curly hair sat at a desk in the center of the room. She looked up at Eris and her eyes sparkled.

“Well there you are! We were wondering when you would wake up.” The woman spoke as if Eris was a niece waking up late on Christmas morning.

“We?” Eris’ voice felt raw again. 

“Oh, just some of us in the M.U.N.E. program,” She explained as if it were a given.

“But there is no moon,” Eris countered. 

The woman sighed, “Not moon like M-O-O-N, mune like M-U-N-E.” She gestured to the stitching on her shirt. Eris could now clearly read it as m.u.n.e. Under the logo, Eris could also make out her name tag, Diana.

“What does it stand for?” Eris inquired. The girl smiled like this was a question she never got tired of hearing. 

“Men Ushering New Exploration. Which is kind of funny considering over half of us are women,” She giggled like it was an inside joke, but stopped herself when she saw Eris’ face.

“Exploration where?” A coldness settled over her.

“Space of course,” She beamed and hit a button on her desk. A large dense window behind her was slowing uncovered revealing a blue and white sphere, Earth. 

Eris’ jaw dropped. Holy sh- her thought was interrupted by the sound of a door opening. When she managed to pry her head away, she saw a slightly older woman walk out of a small entryway to the left. The woman’s long dark hair was contained in a thick braid. She wore the same outfit as Eris in dark blue, but walked as if she wore a dress made of gold. Eris felt her stomach twist, she clutched her necklace for support. The eloquent woman’s face softened when she saw the two other women in the room. 

Her voice was smooth and stern, “Diana, you are dismissed.” Diana smiled and then exited the room. Eris was compelled to yell after her to stay, but she held back. The older woman turned to her. Eris squeezed her necklace a little tighter. 

“Hello little owl,” the woman replied sweetly. “Are you ready to join me in a journey through the galaxy?”