The Space Between Us

Jo Carew laid on the grass underneath the stars and the heavens beyond. Tomorrow was the day she has been dreaming of for a long time. Or dreading? She couldn't really tell but her stomach was breeding endless cages of butterflies either way. This day wouldn't have finally come if it wasn't for her grandparents. She had to see them before she went. Oh, how she missed them. She closed her eyes and let the memories of them fill her brain...

***

Little Jo was barely five years old when she finally looked up at the sky and wondered what was up there. She scurried into her grandparents' yellow house and into her Grandfather Teddy's arms and asked him because, to her, there wasn't anything he didn't know. He looked at her through his gold-rimmed aviators and chuckled. "Space is the stars, the planets, the aliens, the asteroids, the astronauts..."

“What’s an astronaut?” interrupted Jo, her big brown eyes beaming up at her grandfather.

“Well its someone, like you or me, who goes up to space and does missions.”

Jo liked the sound of that, she liked it a lot.

From then on, Jo's visits to her grandparents' house were more fun than ever. Her Granny Miriam baked cookies that looked like different planets. Her grandfather did space role-play as they imagined they were soaring between the farthest planets and to the distant galaxies.

***

When Jo was 10, her school held a science fair, and she already knew what she wanted to do.

"Mum I want to build a model spaceship!" Said Jo as soon as she got home from school. Her grandparents were visiting and as soon as her grandfather heard, he ran (as fast as a 68-year-old man can) to his beautiful little Jo "We can build it together if you would like?" He asked hopefully. Jo nodded and gave him a tight hug. Over the next few weeks, her grandparents were always over to help build the spaceship. While Jo's mother and Granny chatted over bottomless cups of tea, Jo and her Grandfather were hard at work, they would blare music out (much to the ladies' dismay) as the spaceship grew taller and taller.

Now, unfortunately, Jo and her spaceship didn't win, but that's OK, the second place didn't sound THAT bad. Although her Grandfather and her dad weren't too happy with that and tried to make the judges do a recount but failed miserably. Her grandmother kneeled down to Jo's height, held her by the shoulders, and told her "You'll win in the end, I know it".

***

"JO CAREW" cried the principle. Jo strode across the stage, her black gown flowing gracefully like a stream behind her. She shook hands with the principle and joined the rest of her class. Jo's grandparents stood out in the sea of people cheering on their children along with her parents. It was their first time going out anywhere but the hospital for 3 months. They wouldn't tell Jo; why worry her on her big day?

“Congratulations to the class of 2023!”. A storm of graduation caps and tassels clouded the ceiling as hugs and cries where shared between classmates. Jo had been accepted into Stanford on a scholarship to study Astrophysics soon, she’d be on her way. But, for now, in this moment, she was here. Her family rushed to Jo’s side to engulf her in hugs and cheers. “We are so proud of you” whispered Jo’s grandfather weakly in her ear. Her dreams were soon to be a reality. She wistfully bade her friends farewell as empty promises of keeping touch were being thrown around. Jo walked out of her high school doors, for the last time, with her family by her.

***

Jo stared blankly outside her dorm window. She got the call on the morning of her graduation. All she wanted to do was scream, cry, run. But she couldn’t. All she could do was get ready.

Jo sat with the rest of her classmates who were waiting for their names to be called out. They all looked so happy. How? It felt impossible to Jo that people in this world could be happy, could have smiling faces, could walk around without that growing pit in their stomachs’. Walking across that stage when her name was called out didn’t feel like it did last time. It wasn’t as graceful, or as complete; it felt so wrong. Her eyes met her parents’ who were sitting proudly with all the other families, but she knew they felt the same way as she did.

Once again, the crowd of caps and tassels shaded the bright sky. Jo tried with everything she had to throw her cap high enough to reach the sky, to reach them.

That night, Jo went out for a celebratory dinner when she got another call, this time telling her that she had been accepted into NASA's prestigious space training program and for the first time that day, she smiled. The type of cheek to cheek smile that only they could have given her. When she told her parents the news, she imagined her grandparents' faces if they heard her news. Would they be happy? Proud? Emotional? All of the above? Probably.

***

Today was the day. The butterflies in her stomach felt like they were longing to escape as the car was heading to the launch pad. It had been years since her grandparents passed away but today, the memory of them hit her harder than ever, like a healed wound tearing open. The next few hours passed as if she was standing still on a motorway. Then, all of a sudden, the countdown began:

10

She remembered the hours shared with her grandpa building her prized model rocket.

9

Pushing through the doors and laying her eyes on the NASA museum for the first time.

8

Mornings spent munching on her grandmothers' space-themed cookies

7

That sinking feeling after the phone call telling her her grandparents had passed peacefully in their sleep

6

They way they believed in her

5

Their warm hugs

4

Their smiles

3

2

1

                                               ***

Hours passed by as they were soaring through the unknown abyss. Jo floated down to the window and looked out at the stars and heavens beyond. She was with them and she felt it now more than ever.

“I really did it, grandpa”