A Loss For Words

Dear Jim:

I’m at a loss for words. This is a problem. I’m a writer – at least I’m supposed to be. How can I be a loss for words? On the other hand, how could any words possibly do justice to how much the events of the last few months have changed my life?

I suppose the beginning is a good place to start. You know it has always been my dream to be a journalist, right? Well, as it turns out, dreams do come true! It all happened so fast, I’m still trying to wrap my head around it. One day I was opening my millionth rejection letter, and the next day, I found myself in the corner office – working for the newspaper that I grew up reading.

I was on top of the mountain brother. I’m really not sure how my life could have been any better. In fact, it just kept getting better. In hindsight, maybe I should have known it was too good to last. Six months after getting my dream job, I met Harold – the love of my life. I’m gay by the way – but you probably knew that – everyone knew that. Everyone except for me anyway. Or maybe I did and was just more comfortable living in denial. Anyway, I met Harold and we ended up getting a place together.

So, like I said, the good times didn’t last. You might have guessed that when you saw the postage of this letter was from the jail though. Apparently, freedom of speech now only applies to people that agree with the garbage that our “leader” spews from his bully-pulpit. I wouldn’t even be surprised if this letter gets ‘lost in the mail’ before it gets to you. If it does happen to reach you, please take my advice and skip your visit this year, our country is not the same anymore. It’s nearly unrecognizable from only a few months ago.

By this point, you must be wondering what the heck happened. A con man happened Jim, a con man happened. He got elected by conning millions of people and now he’s turning our country into something it was never supposed to be. They say fascism could never happen here, but they are wrong my friend. It is already here. It’s too late – we’re screwed, and it’s only gonna get worse from here.

I was out walking the dog with Harold, and we were almost home. We should’ve walked a little bit faster, I guess. We were walking along – minding our own business, and next thing you know two men in plain clothes ran up to us and tackled on onto the pavement. The last thing I saw before they put a hood over my head and handcuffs on my wrists was my dog running away. I have no idea what happened to Harold. They could be dead for all I know. They didn’t even let me see a lawyer for the first month I was in here (wherever ‘here’ is). They hold me in solitary confinement for twenty-three hours a day and call me a terrorist. They like to say, “we don’t like your kind”. I’m pretty sure I know what they mean by ‘my kind’, and it has nothing to do with being a terrorist.

It's not safe here anymore Jim – do NOT come here. My lawyer said they’ve been locking up journalists left and right that aren’t part of the propaganda machine. I’m not even sure that I can trust him, but I don’t have any other options. I am giving him this letter to give to you as a warning. Whatever you have heard about how bad it has gotten here – it is worse.

I’m not sure when reporting the truth became a crime and made you a terrorist, but I guess that’s where we’re at now. Jim, if this letter does get to you, I need you to do me a favor. I need you to check my email. The password is your middle name spelled backwards with all capital letters except the first one. There is an attachment to an email I sent myself that has some information you might find interesting.

I was doing some research for a story about foreign election interference and fraud that wasn’t very flattering to the current administration. I’m guessing this was their motivation for locking me up (and being gay, I’m sure didn’t help either). You can do what you want with that file, but I think you know what I would do with it if I could.

If you do anything with that file Jim – do it anonymously. The name of the file is a journalist I trust to send the file to that can take it from there. Still make a burner email to send it to him though. The less dots that can be connected, the better off we all are.

I don’t want to put your life in danger, but we both know people deserve to know the truth about how badly they’ve been lied to. Not that a lot of these brainwashed fools will believe the truth at this point after drinking that tainted Kool-Aid being served twenty-four hours a day on their propaganda machine, but we can at least plant a seed. Maybe when everyone comes back to their senses, they will let me out and he can have my cell, ha-ha.

  Seriously though Jim, I know this is a big ask, and I understand if you don’t take it, but I’m not gonna lie, I’m hoping you do. This is not the kind of thing that I would forget about, or the kind of debt that I wouldn’t repay – if you know what I mean.

You can’t even make this stuff up Jim – read the file, it’s crazy what they’re getting away with. I didn’t even believe it myself at first. The more I dug, the bigger the hole got though. Anyway, I have to wrap this up, they just gave my lawyer the five minute warning, and they’re not real big on bending the rules around here. Which makes it even more ironic that they locked me up for trying to report them ‘bending’ the rules. I don’t even know what to say Jim, at least if I ever write I book, I know what I will call it – “I’m At A Loss For Words” seems pretty appropriate.

Take care Jim – stay safe. Read the file.