True Motherhood

True Motherhood.

It is day 42.

GeeVee has been expecting it. Happy or sad, many women express it through their tears. In her case, tears of worry have now turned into tears of joy. She has skipped her bloody menstrual days and there is good news. Yes! She is pregnant. Pregnant 3 years after she got married to the man of her love. She is now entering into motherhood and she is crying out of happiness, when she saw the 2 ‘pink streaks’ in the UPT kit

She is living in the Indian society where child bearing is marked as a successful living for a woman. Her family is looking forward for the new comer, and are happy for her. She is treated as a Princess of the home. She is asked to do no household chores. Just sleep, relax and rest.

Being the youngest in the family is bitterly a punishment. One has to obey to whatever the elder says and raise no words against them. And many a times although her suggestions are valuable, they are not valued. Why? Because being the youngest, one will always get this answer - you still don’t know the society and world, so keep quiet. No one is now commanding any work to her. She is habitual of waking late and being blamed, but now she is allowed to take nap whenever she feels so. Everything in the home right from cooking to watch tv shows, are as per her wish.

It is day 45.

After taking an appointment she and her family visited her gynecologist and wanted to confirm on the good news. She did undergo few basic clinical tests and received her report after waiting for 2 long hours. She was so eager in knowing the baby’s development in the scan report.

Lab assistant had called out her name and handed over her report. She was so keen in knowing the growth of their little one.

She was shaken and broken down when she just saw the comments in the scan report. She started searching out in Google to interpret the scan results. She was out from the lab and heading towards her gynae to double check if the results are true.

She was somehow got the feeling that her happiness is not going to last longer.

Before day 42:

GeeVee – She was an aspiring student willing to pursue medicine but unluckily doing her job as an IT professional. She is very sincere at her work, be at office or at home. She has just one drawback, she is not an early bird in the morning. Except that, she is a Ms. Perfect since her childhood and perfectionism is running in her blood through her veins.

KayBee – He is the man GeeVee liked since her childhood. They both fell in love and tied knots 3 years ago. He is her cousin and so the marriage was fixed long time back. He is a decent, average earning, good looking man. He is the one to propose her and got successful.

..

Typical Indians have a habit of peeking at other people’s progress in life than theirs. This couple are not an exception and had to fake some answers for the society’s the most common question after marriage, “When are you sharing the good news?”. It is not just the society; it is the mindset of so-called matured Indians. And the painful part is, family members of the couples are the pioneers to ask. Every single social gathering they went, be it a marriage of friend or cousins or any family function, this couple had to provide different answer to the same well-known question.

To put an end to faking responses, they decided to started living their love life after marriage. It was not easy for them to start it and they both have to compromise something at their work. After 2 years of struggle, finally they stepped into their love life.

Hence it was much expected for everyone in her family to hear about the good news.

It is day 46:

She has returned home with her family after visiting her gynaecologist. Happiness that lasted few days ago is slowly fading away in the faces.

Gynae has passed on the message indirectly and she has to wait for a couple of weeks to further confirm her pregnancy.

With all the Google searches and interpretations, she is already sure, there is probably a miscarriage. All her dreams of having a little champ in next 9 months is withered in air. She is put into a miserable state which no one can ever explain or understand, unless one has experienced. For God’s sake, there there be no woman undergoing this state.

Still with a faith on the Almighty and a ray of hope, she waited for the scan to be repeated to check for the embryo development.

It is day 60:

2 weeks of wait came to an end. She went for a repeat scan with her family, to only know that her gestation has failed without the development of embryo. Little champ is already dead with only 6 weeks of growth.

It is sure by then; she has lost her motherhood now. From preparing her mind for carrying a healthy foetus during the gestational period, she is preparing her mind and body for getting through this miscarriage process. Physical and Emotional strength are much needed for her than ever before. She was strong enough to handle it but burst into tears when she saw her husband and family having their worry-filled faces.

She is prepared to undergo abortion process. She is bleeding for almost 2 weeks, throwing out her conception residue from the Uterus. She is forced to survive in the world of pain and depression, her eyes filled with tears of loss and her uterus completely cleared without any trace of the little champ.

Back to usual:

Her journey of entering into motherhood, constructing a mind vision for her little one, spreading the happy news to the people who earlier questioned her - everything has changed within a month. Her exciting cheerful journey was converted into miserably painful memory. Though her uterus is emptied, her heart is heavy and full.

Bearing the burden of the family on her shoulders, for fulfilling the financial commitments, and continuing with her perfectionism at work, she is getting back to new normal.

She is no more a princess at home. She is back to her work – managing household chores, profession, and being insulted for waking up late. Not sure, what fake answers will she give for the society’s question now. But for sure, she is really a strong woman, overcoming the loss – mentally and physically and still working in her way.

Her story is an example for the happenings in the society – Respecting a woman during motherhood and Respecting a woman only during her motherhood.

All the women who had experienced this bitter past are truly mothers still living with the memory of their pregnancy. To all other married women who are planning to enter into motherhood, I sincerely pray to God, to never experience this bitter.