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Funny

Elmira and the Serum

Elmira Steep lived in Section Five in Hemisphere One.  There were five hemispheres on the planet now each in their own separate dome.  Outside the dome was dangerous as the air was toxic from the accidental nuclear bomb that was exploded. 

But, that was ancient history.

Elmira had married and produced two children all that she was allowed to have under the new restrictions. Her daughter was very intelligent and was scooped up and became a member of the medicine team in Section One in Hemisphere Three.

In every Hemisphere, there were five sections each one devoted to a different pursuit. For example, Section Two in Hemisphere Two was were all of the financial transactions took place. It was here that her son was taken in. The boy was a whiz with numbers.

Elmira’s husband had been a golfer and they had habituated Section Four in Hemisphere Four. It was where all of the athletes lived and prospered.  Her husband would win the Master twelve times including five years in a row.

At home, he put out her good cups on the table and stood exactly twenty-five feet away. He would chip the plastic balls into each cup and rarely missed. His record of consecutive ‘inns’ as he called them was three-hundred and fifty-eight.

He had made a lot of money playing golf. In fact, he had surpassed fifty-billion dollars. Unfortunately, since everyone was regulated to have the same amount of money so not to create jealousy and a rich-poor unhealthy ratio, he had to give most of it away. It went to charities and to further the human cause. 

Since her husband was so successful and popular there were a lot of Lolitas that wanted to be his friend with benefits. Elmira grew up in a very strict, religious household where prudish practices ruled the day.  She had no idea what the term ‘friends with benefits’ meant until it was a little too late.

One morning, she awoke to someone pounding on the door so hard that she thought it was going to fall down or the person’s fist was going to push through.

Elmira put on her housecoat and went downstairs. There were three women standing there and when she opened the door they were all pregnant. 

“We want to speak to Sammy Steep.” There was a brunette, a blonde and a redhead.

“My husband isn’t home right now. You will have to come back. How do you know my husband?”

All three women pointed at their bulging bellies.

Elmira still didn’t get it.

“My husband is a famous golfer and has won many tournaments and made billions of dollars. He knows nothing about three pregnant women.”

“Your husband is the reason we are pregnant,” said the brunette.

“That is impossible.”  

“The paternity test will make it very possible,” said the blonde.

“We want money, lots and lots of money,” announced the redhead.

“There must be some misunderstanding. My Sammy would never do something like that.”

Suddenly, someone from the magistrate appeared. They all drove black cars and wore black robes.

“This can’t be happening.” Elmira said shaking her head.

The magistrate, Lois Ford, walked up carrying a briefcase and stopped looking everyone over.

“Which one of you is Elmira Steep?”

“I am.”

“Is your husband home?”

“No, he’s out golfing.”

“Thank you for that information.”

She turned around and left.

Later that day, Elmira watched in horror as her husband was arrested on the fourth hole just as he was lining up a putt that was as easy for him as someone with a PH.D. in English reciting the alphabet.

Elmira was ashamed and embarrassed.  

“This can’t be happening.”

Suddenly, the front yard became a circus as every assigned reporter appeared wanting to know her angle on the news story that had flashed across each hemisphere in every section.

Elmira managed to get a hold of her children and warned them.

“Your father has done something very wrong and very evil.  Find a place to hide.”

She weathered the storm, but it was very, very painful.

The Hemisphere society had been set up before the nuclear accident. In fact, the world was split in half debating whether or not the entire population should be put in domes.  

So, the world governments gave every citizen on the planet the choice to live in a hemisphere dome or remain where they were. The lucky ones chose to live inside a giant glass safety zone.  

A week after the world population had been rearranged to satisfy everyone and people were just settling down, the nuclear disaster happen.  

It was a ghastly scene as the domes were locked down. Not all of the humans died right away; some lived a few days or a week or more.

Those that still had their facilities lugged themselves to the various domes screaming and begging to be let in. They had no hair and had black blotches all over their skin.  Some bled profusely from their mouths and ears.

There were many that suffered terrible and horrible nightmares from seeing so many humans die an unfair and excruciating death.  

The government realized that they had to do something because people were losing their minds. So they introduced a serum that allowed people to have their memories wiped out.

There were some trials and errors, but eventually it started to work. The government had strict control over the drug and it was stored in Hemisphere One, 

Section One in a place that nobody could access except but a few. There were layers after layers of security.

The nuclear accident had occurred twenty years before and there was no need keep the serum. However, it was decided that it may be useful in the future. 

After all of the nonsense that followed the fallout of her husband’s many, many extramarital affairs, Elmira wanted the serum. Her cause became the most debated issue since the debate of letting people in the domes that were dying.

In the end, she was brought over to Section One, Hemisphere One and injected with the serum.

It worked perfectly because the female never remembered a thing about her husband’s infidelity.  

One day, she was walking down the street and saw her ex-husband walking on the other side. She didn’t even blink, had no idea who he was and eventually made it home.

Elmira called her daughter because the older woman couldn’t understand why she was single.

“Honey, what ever happened to your father?”

Angela took a deep breath.

“He died in the nuclear accident mother. Don’t you remember?”

“No, I don’t. Thank you, now I know why I am single.”

Elmira let the conversation expire and then turned on the TV tube in order to see what was on.

This is where people went when they had undergone the memory treatment.  It was a simple process that was free and the government enjoyed providing the service.

January 09, 2021 01:47

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