New Beginnings

The silly animal ruined Mom's asparagus, scratching away at its' hind parts gleefully.

"Please, take that thing with you!" Mom pleaded with me.

I was not swayed.

"I'm only here for a couple more hours and you're still complaining about this? Taco never hurt a fly!"

"Well, I'm sick of it!" All it does is make messes." She said this while shooing him away again.

"I'm so glad I'll never have to clean up after this thing again." She rolled her eyes.

"You don't even eat asparagus. I don't understand why you toil so?!"

"You know I hate animals. Why did you bring it to my house?"

"Mom, you know I can't leave him at school!"

"Oh, really?! That's not my responsibility! You don't clean up after the thing and all it does is tear up my house. I can't wait till you're gone!"

"Ma, come on! You're absolutely overreacting. What's really going on?" I tilted my head sideways, artificially.

Meanwhile, Taco wasn't helping the situation a bit. He stared out the window presumably scheming about the asparagus garden.

I visited mom for a few months during the summer break. I'd hoped for a peaceful reunion, but I was met with similar turmoil. She was never happy, always complaining about one thing or another. Everything changed for her when dad left.

It was a traditional abandonment. No "Dear, Nancy's" or clothing left behind. I stuffed the feelings down deep, and she was never the same. My loving and peaceful mother had become a meticulous tyrant. I did my best to help.

After I reached adulthood I was able to find out where he'd been hiding the past few years. He was humble, apologizing for all the time lost.

"I didn't go far, and I left her a note. She didn't tell you?" he swallowed.

"No! She's been crazy ever since you left." I raised my tone emphatically.

I thought back to my childhood years when he was less of a concern than my iPhone. I wanted my mom back! I wanted that carefree, gentle loving spirit to awaken in her again. I ached for her, and there was nothing I could do to bring her back. I deduced that if dad were here, she'd get back to her old self.

So, when the time was right, I found him. I felt my dignity diminish slowly as reality set in.

"You left a note?! Where have you been all this time, right here in San Francisco?"

"Right! I'd basically told her I wanted you two to be happy and if it best for me to leave, then I would leave. I gave her all my contact information. We had some intimacy issues that I'm not obliged to discuss with you."

"What happened?!" I demanded anxiously.

"I can't say anything harmful about your Mother. We had our differences. Perhaps you should ask her?"

The greeting with dad was shortlived. I needed answers! I was graceful enough not to exacerbate the issue with her. Considering, she knew all along, I figured it would only make things worse. I still loved her, and I think she loved me.

She gave me most anything I asked for, and I was always welcome in her home. She really hated Taco though! Whether I brought the pup along or not, I walked a tightrope next to her.

With an hour left before my trip, I put Taco in his cage outdoors to settle her commands. She was shuffling away, alphabetizing the DVD stand that somehow I ruined without viewing a single film.

"Mom, I bought you a gift!" I said with my hands tucked behind my back.

She spun around mechanically.

"Ta-da!" I exclaimed, revealing empty hands and dazzle fingers.

She was not impressed and continued on.

"No, seriously, mom. I got you some Suisse chocolates."

I rushed to the bedroom to retrieve them and placed them at the dining room table. This time she didn't respond at all.

"I'm sorry mom, I was just teasing." I pleaded.

Still unmoved, she mumbled something under her breath.

"Ma, I love you!" I purged accidentally.

She turned around.

"I know you do Sweetie. I love you too." I caught a smile before she continued about her business.

"Are you going to try the chocolates?"

"Sarah, you know I'm on a diet. Why on Earth would you bring me chocolates?

"I don't know! I thought you could at least try them. It's the finest chocolate in the World!" I gave her a forced smile.

"No, thanks! Take those with you and that stupid dog!"

"Sorry, mom. I love you!"

"Right, OK! What time is it?"

Half an hour had passed and I was still packing.

"Don't worry about that Ma. Tell me, how did the pants fit?"

"What pants?"

That caught her attention. She spun around again to probe.

"Well, I remember you trying them on last week. You seem to be doing better than me with the diet thing."

We're both overweight.

"They don't fit! That's why I hate you and your stupid dog!"

"What?!"

She fought to hold back, but we were engulfed by the humor. We laughed harder than we had in years. When it came time for me to leave, she didn't offer a hug or dysregulated sentiment. I didn't either.

Our relationship got better over the next few years. I never brought Taco back to her home, and when I told her I'd let him go stray she seemed to be soothed by the idea. We shared memories of good times and laughed together as best we could.

As the years passed, we re-settled. Dad moved to Tokyo and I was never sure if he informed Mom. I figured it best not to bring it up. I moved out to Chicago and Mom found a new spot in Colorado.

When I call she always asks: "How's Taco?"

To which I respond, "He's gone to Tokyo."

"Now, how can a dog travel from San Francisco to Tokyo?"

"He's a great swimmer."

We laugh.