Herby

He probably needed some slather, and while that was a priority, he'd gone out of his way to find everything to make the perfect cocktail. All his owner could do, in response to all his efforts, was to moan about his eternal smile. As if he was able to change that.

-"I've been thinking." she said wistfully, "I think I'd rather live in a mud hut with a real man than here in this luxury flat with you." She fluffed her thick black hair with her fingernails:

"Do you think I'll ever get out of this world, Herby?"

-"My name is Herbert Miss." The robot replied politely. Christina rolled her eyes and let out a sigh. She was neither the prettiest nor the youngest. If she were, she probably wouldn't be here. Beautiful, young women did not need to go into space. Anyway, she thought she was young enough, and healthy too.

She had been here for a year and a half now. A year and a half with Herby. Or Herbert. He was obedient, diligent, and versatile, he maintained her home to perfection, provided tasty food, and did whatever she wanted... but still, she missed "him".

If only Herby could make her a real man. He had tried it once and almost succeeded, but it never lived

-"I wish it rained Herby." Christina said, fanning her forehead.

Herbert walked out the door in silence.

-"Come back for a moment." she called after Herbert. He was just on his way to oil himself. He turned around with a clank.

-"Can't you make it rain? With iodine or something?" she asked, moaning.

-"Shall I ventilate the house?" Herbert asked.

"That's not a bad idea, “Christina said, "why didn't you think of that before?"

-"A small reconnaissance ship has landed this afternoon." Herbert said, "The pilot is a man."

-"And you're just now telling me that, you asshole!" she said angry and happy at the same time.

"You must realize that a man brings both opportunities and problems, ma'am," Herbert said.

-"What do you mean?" Christina snapped.

Herbert opened his mouth, but Christina forestalled him. She blinked, "I'm too skinny? Maybe that's what you mean? That he won't find me attractive."

-"What if he already has a wife here?" asked Herbert.

-"So what?" Christina asked dryly. "We are not on Earth here," she said firmly. "Where is it written that we must live according to Earthly customs here? Perhaps that woman would be willing to share him with me." she pursed her lips, "Now go get dinner ready!"

Herbert did not move.

-"What is going on?" Christina asked.

-"I am sad." Herbert replied, almost moaning.

-"What happened?" Or are you kidding?” Christina inquired. Herbert still did not move.

-"What do you have to be sad about? You are an ideal servant and an incredibly good household model. There, do you feel better now?" Christina sighed rolling her eyes again. "And you are hardworking and efficient," she added impatiently. She started to look angry.

-"Can you make me some coffee, then?" she asked in a high voice.

Herbert went to the kitchen and started making the coffee. Moments later, he came back into the anteroom with a hot black brew.

Christina took a sip from the cup Herbert had set before her, and immediately spit it out again.

-"This is too crazy for words. You didn't make the coffee right, Herby!" she coughed, shaking her head.

"I think it's high time I had you checked at the factory." 

Christina said, "I think you need a little repair. Come, let's go now.”

The repair factory was a mile away. There was not a person to be seen on the street.

-"What's his number?" the man behind the counter asked.

-"His number?" Christina asked. "Herby, what's your number?"

-"6C377" he replied, "And please call me Jerry, ma'am." Christina looked at Herbert transfixed in amazement.

-"I've always liked that name." the robot explained.

Doctor Morrison, the man who designed Herbert, came round the corner:

-"Look here. Arguing with a robot. What is going on?" he asked.

-"I am being treated illegally." Herbert said.

Christina almost burst out of her skin.

-"What an idiotic thought." she sputtered, "What a ridiculous idea. You are not a man! You are just a robot. Stop that immediately!" 

Christina cried.

-"Don't be narrow-minded. I am a rational being. I have the ability to speak and to talk. If I put it in my head, I am even able to outsmart you. I don't believe there is even a book in which it is written that men must be made of flesh and blood."

Herbert stood staring down at Christina. Mr. Morrison scratched his head:

-"There are no books I know of that contains a manual on how to deal with rebellious robots."

-"I need a liter of lube oil." Herbert said, "And some time to myself."

-"What an annoying creature!" Christina gritted her teeth, "Send him to a cybernetics lab and have his memory wiped. Locate those rebel circuits and disconnect them!"

-"Oh no!" Herbert said. "If I, were you, Dr. Morrison, I wouldn't do that." Herbert sounded ominous. He turned and walked out into the street: a picture-perfect image of an outraged android.

 -"The chief just called, and he wants to know what's going on here." said the man behind the counter.

I think I should have been more careful with what I plugged into that electronic brain, “Mr. Morrison said standing with one hand on his side, scratching his head with the other hand.

-"Go after him and get him back." Morrison commanded the man behind the counter. "Don't worry ma'am, I'm sure we can fix him in no time."

-"I hope I can catch him." said the man behind the counter.

"It won't be that hard, “Mr. Morrison said, "just tell him he'll get everything he wants when he comes back."

Christina was still roaring with rage.

"Maybe we should get a few more people." the man behind the counter said in a trembling voice. The poor man was just a simple guy without much imagination. It took an hour before the man caught sight of Herbert on the street. The robot did not look angry, but it looked determined.

-"Oof." the man muttered, wiping his face with his handkerchief.

"Come on," he gasped breathlessly, "Doctor Morrison will make sure you get everything you want."

Morrison had heard on the radio that there were reports of robots acting strangely all over town. He muttered something under his breath: "A domestic robot is built to obey its owner. Morrison received a few more calls over the phone. He started scratching his head again. He wished he knew something about robotics psychology.

-"The good news is," he began, "The robots obviously don´t mean to hurt anyone. It´s just a disagreement between them and their owners."

More and more people walked into the factory. Without their robots, they were helpless because they had to do everything themselves. No one could imagine having to do their own shopping or do odd jobs and manual labor. nobody liked that.

-"Can´t the army be deployed." the chief asked, who had come to the counter in the entrance hall. "They must be able to put an end to that strike and that uprising."

-"Strike?" Morrison asked.

-"What else would you call this?" the chief snapped.

-"If those robots start making demands, then it's over. Let the army catch them and we'll replace them."

"Maybe they'll surrender on their own," Morrison said ignorantly.

-"What exactly do they want?" the chief asked.

Morrison shrugged. "Maybe they want a paycheck or something."

Christina sat in a corner of the reception hall, waiting for Herbert to return. The sun began to set behind the Space city towers. The streets were deserted.

Herbert walked into the factory and went to Christina.

-"There you are!" she said.

"Yes, “Herbert began, "I began to wonder how you would manage without me."

-"I've been worried about you." Christina said. Herbert looked perplexed and fixed his wide-shot electrical eye cells on his owner.

-"Would you like a drink?" he asked her. She nodded and Herbert made his way to get a bottle of water.

-"Something just occurred to me." Morrison said, "I don't think those robots` strike will last long. I built them. I know them. They'll get bored very soon."

-"Let's walk home." Herbert said to Christina. It was a beautiful night, robot and owner walked home side by side. Everything was quiet.

-"You never sleep, Herby? Uhm Jerry, I mean. You don't drink, you don't smoke, nor make love. All you do is work." Christina said.

-"Yes, and now we are walking down the street together." Herbert replied, "I have the brain of a man, but without the emotions and the sweet irrationality of men."

-"And here we are walking through the gray streets." added Christina.

-"Man, and robot, man and machine." Herbert said. "I like being your friend."

-"We don't have to talk about working hours now." Christina began.

Herbert sighed.

-"You just sighed! That's so human." Christina noted.

-"I am grateful." Herbert said, "From now on I will always make good coffee."

-"What are you thankful for Jerry?" Christina wanted to know.

-"Oh, you know, robots are built to work. If we don't have human pleasures to take care of, then we have nothing but an empty and meaningless life."

-You know Jerry, I'm the one who should be thankful." Christina laughed and gave" her" Jerry a kiss on his electronic cheek.