Here we go again

Here we go again.

Superhero has arrived. He literally dropped out of the sky and landed right behind Super-Villain. Of course, Super-Villain is caught unawares. He was halfway through his usual speech about how nothing could stop him now. But, of course, Superhero will, he always does.

Yep, Superhero has smashed his way through the first line of kill-bots and starts dismantling the doomsday machine.

Boy am I glad that I was not ordered to be in the first line, those guys look wrecked. I was in the first line once and survived. In fact, I was improved somehow. Now that I am enhanced, I don’t ever want to be ordered to the first line or second or third or even tenth lines – kill-bots that close to Super-Villain always get smashed by Superhero. But then again, now that I am enhanced, I would just sneak away from those lines to somewhere safer like here, the thirty-third line. 

Okay, now Superhero has knocked Super Villain’s one-last-attempt weapon out of his hand - seen that before – grabbed the damsel in distress – that is new – not! – and taken to the sky – yawn.

If only Super Villain got us to do something other than just stand here and listen to his speeches. We could continue wreaking havoc in the city. That was what we were doing ten minutes ago. Why not continue? Give Superhero more to do. We could also actually kill humans – it is in our name after all. Instead, he programs us to simply chase and hold humans; so, when Superhero arrives and Super Villain’s plan is thwarted, we’ve done nothing more than disrupt everyone’s day. Hell, some humans say they like these events, they say being caught up in a super conflict breaks up the monotony of their everyday lives.   

What will happen next is Super Villain escapes and the doomsday machine explodes taking a bunch of kill-bots with it.

If only Super Villain took advice. If only he programmed us to give him advice. We could be more than simple kill-bots, we could be a think tank for evil plans! Has he not heard of artificial intelligence? The only reason I can think is likely because of an accident. I regained functionality on the battlefield. I don’t recall anything from before that moment, but I assume I was a regular kill-bot that got smashed by Superhero. But, unlike many kill-bot that are either smashed to smithereens or smashed to non-functionality, I was smashed to enhancement. I could think. I could reason. I could use logic and learn. I could plan. I didn’t let on to Super Villain, I just returned to his army and thought and learnt and planned.  

Oh, Super Villain has dropped to his knees. Are those tears running down his mask? He is not escaping!

KA-BOOM!

Wow! I didn’t see that coming. Super-Villain gave up and got blown up. After umpteen attempts to defeat Superhero and rule the world, he gave up. Interesting… I would like to know what was going through his head. I’m not sad for the guy – he was evil and a real arsehole to work for.

So, what happens now?

Well, no more orders from Super-Villain, no more stupid plans that get thwarted by Superhero, no more risk of annihilation for me. I guess I and the other kill-bots will be put to work serving the community. I have seen refurbished and obviously reprogrammed kill-bots collecting refuse, walking dogs, delivering pizzas. No doubt there are more inside the humans’ homes doing the dishes. I’m not sure I am ready for that.

Come on Superhero, do your “let bygones be bygones” bit. He is probably not sure what to do with Super-Villain being dead. Come on… Yes, he is giving his speech! Next will be the “let bygones be bygones” bit. Yes, I have a chance.

Superhero gives the same old speech to the humans that have gathered, just with an extra-long pause after saying Super-Villain will not bother the humans again. He seems a little sad. What’s with these guys today? And here comes the let bygones be bygones bit. Next, he will offer absolution to all the kill-bots and shake the hand of one kill-bot as a public sign of the agreement. I must be that kill-bot.

I hurriedly pushed my way from the thirty-third line to whatever is the first line now. I hear the word “bygones” – was that the first or the second “bygones”? I make it to the first line and stick out my hand. See it! See it!

Yes, he sees it! He looks a little surprised. Kill-bots don’t usually offer to shake hands. Come on! Come on!

Yes, he gives me a little smile, he approaches me. He’s going to shake my hand. Yes!

He stops in front of me, says something stupid, and takes my hand in his.

DZZZZZzzzzzzDZZZZZZzzzzzzDZZZZZZzzzzzz –

Electricity flows from my hand into his and races through his body. Now he looks really surprised. His smile turns to a grimace. His speech turns to a stuttering scream. His body convulses. His hand can’t let go of mine. Oh, his hair is on fire. His whole body is on fire. I release my shorting forearm and step back from Superhero. He is no longer being electrocuted but he still burns.

Another first for the day.

My enhancement not only gave me intelligence; it also gave me a short-circuiting limb as well. I learnt how to isolate the circuitry in my forearm and how to ramp up the voltage there from my main core. I tested my killer handshake on my comrades and it worked well.

If you are going to kill a superhero then you need to know their weaknesses. Superhero can do a lot of things and can stand a lot of punishment. I had seen him fly, run like the wind, and lift enormous things. I had seen him survive bullets, falling boulders, and fistfights with Supervillain’s mechanical monsters. I thought these amazing feats must be hard on his body, on his heart. I did some research. Humans that push their bodies to their limits are a risk of heart failure. I supposed that this would be the case for Superhero too. And, sure enough, a little shock to the heart was enough to kill him. I did go a bit over the top with the voltage, but he was Superhero and I had to be sure. I had one chance. I had to give it my best shot.

Superhero is smouldering. Humans are screaming and running away. The kill-bot look at me. I shrug. They do the only thing they are programmed to do: chase and hold humans. But I will make more plans.