Craziest Year

It rushed passed within a minute, brushing my hands, and ceased again like something being controlled by someone flipping the switch on and off. The weather this year had been in a kind of struggle to enter record books as the hottest year since this nation started keeping records. The wind used to be in the dry season once it starts, it can lasts fifteen to twenty minutes giving people a reprieve from the harsh season but not this year. The breeze will cease for up to three to four hours as if it is being shared as they do to electricity in this country. Some parts will get this hour of the day and the other parts from so and so hours of the day. Are heaven in shortage of enough winds to share to humanity? Who knows. I have heard many asked that question uncountable times this year. Everyone in this market I came to collect my money from the customers I supplied my goods to for three weeks now that have refused to pay in full since last week I started coming for the balance were fanning themselves furiously like mad with local hand-fans made from raffia palm fronts. I had been haggling with the Hausa man selling those fans for two hours now I had been waiting for my customer who said on the phone he was almost near the market about an hour plus ago. 

" You said you were selling one for 350 last, won't you sell it for 200?"

" Baabu. It no good for that amount. 350 last gasikiya"

" Is the high cost of buying the dollars responsible for this item hiked price too?"

"Wollahi!, doolar is responsible. You know how much I take go to my state for this? Fuel high, bus fare high, sachet water high, efery thing fery high"

" But this is what sells for 120 in ordinary season?"

" Ha Malam, season no ordinary again. It's eshtera higher, no normal this year. You no see?"

We have been at it for about thirty minutes haggling and excuses and reasons that did not make sense being offered as excuses. I don't know how to dish out 350 for 150 products. It seems as if once the demand is high, prices will skyrocket like crazy. These hand-fan sellers believed it's a way of Allah remembering them and as you argue the price, observing them you will notice how they at times eye you with anger when they believed you weren't focusing on them. To them, you will roast in hell for trying to derail Allah's intention on their lives this year. 

Truly, it had been something else this year. If this is Allah's way of remembering the poor, it should be time to show his apostles the route to their villages each dry season. This punishment is not a blessing. You don't roast Peter to compensate Musa financially. It's crazy. But then it's poor fellows here attributing their luck to Allah and the high dollar which am sure is caused by Allah too. To think that people don't even listen to the weather reports on the radios if they exist there for I have never heard them being reeled out. At least, they would have frightened you enough to go for a fancy umbrella. So hot that you can't swear you are reasoning well. The head is falling off and the business not performing well. It is hard to tell which is the driest. Is it the weather, the business, your lips, your pocket or your senses? Too many dried things and the winds aren't helping at all. And yet, it's a sign of blessing as read by some people.

My shirt was soaked and dripping at the back, I was wiping like mad. Your body is getting gummy and you are constantly scrapping with handkerchiefs that have been subjected to serious function that it no longer performs. Breathing isn'getting any easier too. The sachet water sellers were competing with hand fan sellers on who will hike their prices the most. Sachet water that goes for two 50 nairas is now one 60, two 100. Just imagine what adverse weather has done to the economy of these poor people this season alone. Yet, the stomach is filled to the brimme with cold water and its utility lasts for a few minutes. If the blessing of Allah is in this format, time to send emissaries to him for more details. 

This is not the only anomaly this season came with. The illiterate people don't understand what the season has to do with mood swings they don't even know that the rate of quarreling that is on the increase is caused by the adverse weather. The rate people shout and throw punches is at all-time high. The government is not the type who pay attention to such therefore can not even inform the illiterate masses why their temper is on high and how to control themselves. It is the favorable season for the officers also who were arresting people on a rate never seen before. Once you get to the station, you can't leave there without dropping from 10k up whether you are on the right or not. You are disturbing public peace.

I was eager to see my business there through and rush back to my base but the man I was waiting for had other reasons for playing me and that reasons couldn't be any other reason but lack of money he would pay me. At least, common sense will tell you that it is not the right route to follow. Tell your customers the situation of things with you instead of playing them. Almost two hours I have been waiting there and he is claimng now to be stuck in the traffic, or is it holdup? According to him, almost all the cars are developing overheating problems and blocking the routes. His bus was caught in more than two overheated break down cars. "please, exercise patient for me" he had said last time I called. Exercise patience but my health is taking the hitting in a way it's not exercising patience with me and if I don't do something soon fast, my meagre finance will bear the consequences in the hospital. 

I was potting and drinking excessive water to cool down the temperature when the same Hausa man came around to the shop again with the same handfans telling me to just give him anything that came from my heart.

 " why give anything that comes from my heart? I said 200 naira. Are you ready to sell or not?"

" me say, I no good. doolars high, high tis time. Add em something"

"Things are not good for many people not only you. Your amount is so high"

 " Mallan, just add em something to cofer bus money. The money you de call no good"

We spent another 30 minutes like the first time around haggling prices again. I was wondering from the way he came back as if he heard a voice in his head. I gave him 500 notes and repeated his statement of giving me anything as change that comes from his heart. He eyed me longer than he should before giving me 250. We wave and show our teeth to each other. I was enjoying the hand fans when the man owing me appeared from nowhere like a ghost.