A New Dawn

From wherever it is our souls come from when we sleep, Or 'die', Or both, he awoke with a jolt gasping for air like someone coming out from being underneath water for just a bit too long. But with the big gulp for a breath came a terrifying dry cough when he began to choke with the dirt he had just sucked in.

       His right cheek had been directly planted on the ground from him falling face first the night before. He hadn't known nor even pondered that he would lose consciousness while walking, if not he would have laid himself down instead of letting the latter occur. And NOW he was AWAKE. Again. The Light the Sun was shining on his face was blindingly bright.

        He coughed twice and spat out some dirt. His mouth felt as if cotton balls had been placed there and instantly were absorbing all the saliva as soon as he produced it. He thought of him breathing. Again. Cough cough. Which meant he was STILL living. Again. Cough cough. Spit. Which meant one thing. That he would AGAIN begin to FEEL. Feel the heavy sadness. And see the memories of those crying at the many funerals he had ALREADY attended. Apparently not yet his though. He would then feel the bitterness. Again, the memories of those screaming life was 'unfair' and that we were experiencing "Hell on Earth", flooded in. Worst of all he would feel the ANGER associated with vividly seeing the memories of all the moments he had experienced pain due to others' actions and his inability to stop them. His father's beatings and demeaning words! His uncle touching him in the most inappropriate places. Over and over; VIOLENCE. Over and over someone was getting HURT. Mostly him. Suffer is what he would do from feeling all of those emotions! Again. He just wanted IT to STOP!

          So one evening he wandered deep deep into the woods like he had many many times before. He sometimes had not returned for a few days and one day noticed NO ONE actually noticed he had been gone. No one had filed a missing person's report, which meant ONE THING; He wasn't missed. That no one actually KNEW what he was going through. That no one actually knew he suffered so much EVERY SINGLE DAY from dawn to dusk. That no one cared.

            His intentions had been to 'end his life' once and for all! So along with every step he took deeper into the dark woods, he had ALSO taken a pill until several packs of a STRONG prescription drug known as Rohypnol, a.k.a. the 'Date Rape Pill' were completely gone. It was common amongst the sinister souls who used it to get their way with others by leaving them unconscious.

           But used in moderation it also served well for those who just want to NUMB themselves from the world. For those who want to consciously become unconscious to the REALITY that was/is happening to them! Because the "real world" was/is brutal. Or at least it can be for those not knowing Life is actually happening for them and not to them.

              It can be very painful. It can give you quite the beat down leaving you looking like Silvester Stallone in ALL his Rocky movies with ONE eye barely open up and with blurred vision. It can chew you up and spit you out leaving you like a dog's chew toy. The 'real world' will do its best to turn you into the "get off my lawn" kind of bitter by the time you even have a lawn. And on top of all that it will laugh at you as if you were some sort of clown or comedian without actually proclaiming to be one.

                But we have the choice to respond differently to what Life has put in front of us or has happened to us. Because it is 10% of what happens to us and 90% how we respond to it. It's all a perception in our mind's eye. It's a matter of how we CHOOSE to see Life and the steps we take to live out the best possible one every single moment of every day.

               And that IS exactly what happened to HIM that particular day. On that NEW day, when he DIDN'T feel sadness, again. Nor saw mothers crying. When he DIDN'T feel bitterness, again. Nor had visons of those cursing the world! When he DIDN'T feel anger, again. Nor felt the pain due to NOT having images of his father nor those who hurt him. When he DIDN'T 'die'. AGAIN. Instead he felt very much ALIVE. Along with birthing a new dawn, a new man was reborn as well.

              After gathering himself and somehow finding the strength to stand all the way up to his feet, he took in his surroundings noticing he was but somehow wasn't in the SAME place. He felt a different kind of breeze strike his now half clean face. The odor in the air even smelled different. Cleaner.

A single tear from each eye and rolled ever so graciously down each cheek. Each representing a different reason for him shedding them. One for the old parts of himself that died along with the memories. And one for the blissful joy he felt for his rebirth.

              Had he ventured into some part of the woods he HADN'T yet explored? He answered himself just as quickly as he had asked that that wasn't quite possible because he knew every neck of these woods. He had walked them for years. He had camped in them entire days, during full and moonless nights, so he just kept on walking (its what you do when not sure where to go). He soon came upon an open space he KNEW he had been before. His intuition told him so. The difference NOW was/is HIS perspective on what was in front of him.

                   Every cell inside him responded with peace as he stood there overlooking the horizon and watching the glorious Sun, with its glorious light, brightening everything as far as the eye could see and beyond. He realized that that's exactly what LIFE is. Not what we see with our eyes but what we perceive in our minds.