The Stranger’s Typical Story

I took the first sip of the fresh watermelon juice I had just served and looked around at other group members filling their cups and plates with the breakfast delicacies. I noticed this tall, medium-weight woman walking towards me, her plate in one hand and a glass of juice in another. Our eyes met, her glance was soft, and she walked straight to my table.

“Can I join you? “She asked.

"Yes please," I responded.

I did not expect anyone to join me at the table, for I knew no one in that group. We had arrived at the hotel the previous evening, took diner, and went to our rooms. The organizers of our event took no initiative to give us the program or call us for a briefing to know each other.

"I am Mariam," she said, settling on her seat.

"I am Elizabeth," I responded, trying to get eye contact with her but realized she was avoiding eye contact. I have come to understand that people's personalities differ and some do not like eye contact. I put Mariam in that category and continued eating.

“Are you here for the women and gender-based violence meeting?” she asked.

“Yes, I am. You must be here for the meeting too,” I told her.

“Yeah, and I have noticed that most participants are women," she said.

“Indeed,” I said. “Women are more concerned with issues of social justice especially matters concerning gender based violence,” I added.

I discovered that, like me, Mariam knew how women carried heavy burdens in society. We both understood how women struggle to meet community and cultural expectations, some of which harm their health and overall well-being. Mariam and I share similar sentiment regarding the empowerment of girl-child and women in developing countries. We feel that women became double the beasts of burden following the calls for gender equality.

More women now run businesses and are employed. However, they still have to heed their non-paying commitments, such as doing all the household chores and taking care of children. What's disheartening is that most men have taken a back seat. They are more relaxed than ever and wait on their wives, mothers, and sisters to take care of their financial issues.

Mariam fixed her eyes on her plate and narrated this story:

“I was dressed in black, with a black hat and dark eyewear, just like the wives of public figures do when they are paying their last respects. The women married to public figures humble themselves and speak softly when paying tribute to their husbands who died in air crashes, cancer, and most recently of COVID-19.

 I looked over and saw my sister-in-law and her mother. They were in tears, devastated by the turn of events. For sure, they had incurred a considerable loss than me. They were the only women my husband valued in life. They are the only ones he ever empathized with. His blood was more important to him than the blood of a woman from the land of many cows and sour milk.

He also loved my two boys. They will miss him too but me… I am not sure if I will miss him. Maybe. Maybe not.

I hear the master of ceremony calling my name. He mentions each of my names slowly, indicating that it was my turn to speak about my life with Sallo. I already knew what to say; it's something I have inwardly practiced over time. For me, Sallo has died more than once, twice, in fact, many times.

I was woken up from that dream by my sons’ voices telling me they’d be late for school. I shot out of bed and multitasked as usual. We reached the school entrance in time. I was relieved.

I returned to the house to find Sallo waiting for me outside the house. He had just returned from a night out with only God knows who. He asked me to open the door fast, entered, and headed straight to bed, where he fell into a deep sleep.

I started cleaning the house and at some point shouted, “I hate this life.” If only that dream could come true, I would be relieved. "But, that is not what I was taught in church," I murmured. I knew my thoughts were wrong. I remembered the preacher who told us that God says vengeance is His; we should not revenge. The preacher also mentioned that humans tend to get tired of waiting for God to revenge and decide to take action. Sometimes it is not that God does not act; we do not see any vengeance because God does it in a way we do not expect. Most people think God should do to their enemies what they believe best suits the sin committed against them. I remember the man of God asking women who were sure their husbands were having extramarital affairs to raise their hands, and almost all women in the church had their hands up. Then he asked how many of them had asked God to kill their husbands and three-quarters of all the women raised their hands. Then the preacher told them, "God is not going to kill people because that is what you want." "He will keep them alive for long, show them the adverse impacts of their deeds and give them time to repent and change their ways," He added. I know many women were disappointed by that statement.

I finished the household chores, made Sallo some food, and left. I had to supply four clients within two hours based on my agreement with them. I also had to look for more clients and make additional sales before picking my youngest son from school. My mobile boutique feeds me and my family and pays my sons' school fees. The business earnings also cater to our bills. It's something I value doing.

However, the emotional and physical exhaustion I experience when I go to sleep is overwhelming. I remember asking God one night if He was sure He was not testing me beyond what I could bear. As usual, there was no answer.

At around noon I entered one of my clients' shops. She had asked me to bring her two pairs of shoes and some dresses made in the coastal town. I was sure she would love what I took to her. The hairdressing place was packed with clients, and a lot of chit-chats were ongoing. I called her aside to show her the dresses and shoes. "Wow! Guys, you will love these dresses?" she told the rest of the people in the room. Everyone turned towards her, and within a short time, all her customers and employees were sampling my products. One of them asked if she could pay half the price and complete her payment in a week. Then she mentioned that her landlord called the previous evening asking for some prepayment because he had an emergency to handle. She sent him some money as partial payment for the following month's rent. The woman then mentioned Sallo’s name. I realized Sallo was the landlord, and he had already taken money from some of his tenants.  Sallo did not have an emergency; he must have spent that money on alcohol.

My heart started beating faster, and I was sweating. I was distraught. I was troubled by the awareness that Sallo took money from some tenants but brought nothing home. Sallo is the most selfish person I have ever met in my life.

All the customers paid me that day, even though some did not pay in full. I left the hairdressing room feeling too exhausted to meet the other customers. But I gathered my ailing heart, body, and mind to accomplish the day's mission. After all, God says we should love, bless, pray for and do good to those who despitefully use us. But I still ask God? Isn't it a weak and dishonest move to continue loving someone who causes me pain day and night?

What answer do you think God has for me?”

 "Elizabeth! What answer do you think God will give me"? Mariam asks, lifting my right hand that was resting on the table.

"Rest on my feet and enjoy my grace," I tell Mariam. We had gone deep into the story. I look around and see that we are the only people left in the restaurant. We must rush to the conference room; we are already late.