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Fiction Kids Suspense

March 20, 1997

“Mommy, can I ride the rollercoaster? Please? Please?” Suzy had been at the carnival for three hours and was having the time of her life. The carnival closed at ten, which was only five minutes away and Suzy wanted to go on one last ride. 

The skies were cloudy, dark, and threatening. Flags and banners fluttered in the increasing wind. 

Five-year-old Suzy stared into her mother’s eyes doing her best to make a sad puppy face. “Please?”

“Okay dear, one more time,” Melissa said trying to hide a grin. She hadn’t seen Suzy have this much fun since she got a bike on her fourth birthday. 

“Yay, thank you, thank you,” Suzy exclaimed hopping in excitement.

Thunder rumbled in the distance. 

“Last chance to ride the rockin’ roller coaster,” a voice said over loudspeakers placed throughout the carnival. Suzy dashed off towards the roller coaster with her mom in close pursuit. The rockin’ roller coaster was the prized possession of the carnival and it reached a respectable fifty feet in the air on one hill. Suzy had been trying to work up her courage all night to ride it. Instead, she had spent the evening going on rides meant for “little kids.” Not big five-year-olds like her. She wasn’t scared!

Suzy arrived at the ride just as the conductor was starting to close the line. “That was close,” exclaimed Suzy and she climbed on board the two-car roller coaster. She was the only kid that was on the roller coaster for the last ride. Melissa showed up a split second later to encourage Suzy. As the conductor hit the GO button for the rollercoaster, a giant gust of wind roared through the carnival accompanied by a torrential wave of rain. The conductor tried to hit the emergency button to stop the rollercoaster, but a giant stuffed teddy bear came hurtling towards him and bowled him over. 

Canopies flew off poles, carts flipped upside down in the wind, and tornado sirens blared in the distance. 

Melissa shrieked and ran towards the roller coaster track, but the carriage had already started to climb the fifty-foot hill. 

“No, no, no, this can’t be happening,” she gasped. Without warning, a porta-potty came flying through the air and struck Melissa in the head. “No, no, Suzy, I love you so...” blackness enveloped her vision as she lost consciousness.

Suzy was petrified. The entire roller coaster structure was blowing back and forth and seemed on the brink of toppling over. The two-car train slowly chugged along up the fifty-foot hill, but the strong wind was shaking the structure severely. As the train paused on the brink of the hill, a hot-dog stand, swept into the air by the forces of nature, crashed into the base of the rollercoaster structure. “No,” Suzy screamed in absolute terror as she felt the car lose it’s grip on the track. The coaster collapsed sideways. Suzy tried to hold onto her seatbelt, but her hand was slipping in the wet rain. A giant banner emblazoned with WIN PRIZES HERE, caught by a gale of wind, flew into the tumbling carriage and caught Suzy in its embrace. Suzy got tangled in the banner, and when another hurricane-force wind blew she was carried out of the falling car into the air. The banner, now with weight inside of it, tumbled unmajestically the last twenty feet onto the ground. Suzy crashed into the ground and blackness enveloped her. If she would have remained in the train, Suzy would have instantly died. Bones and skull crushed by metal.

Rain poured down in waves. Lightning struck with voracious intensity. Wind roared throughout the carnival grounds wreaking havoc on all things. No one was safe.

Melissa slowly opened her eyes, grimacing in pain and nausea. She had a large goosebump on her head. She slowly sat up and stared at her surroundings. Rain dripped down her face and off of her nose. The wind was still blowing with hellish forces. She bolted upright suddenly. Her precious daughter, where was she? “Suzy, Suzy,” she frantically shrieked into the night. Her ankle throbbed with pain, but she ran towards the mangled structure of the roller coaster. “No, no, no, no,” she sobbed growing more and more frantic. She spied the roller coaster wreckage and her heart split in emotional pain. 

No, not her precious Suzy, how could this happen. 

Melissa ran towards the wreckage. It was smoldering, and there were no signs of life. No one was anywhere close to the wreckage. The carriage was upside down on the grass and bent in half. Melissa got onto her hands and knees and peered underneath the overturned car. But she couldn’t see Suzy. “Where is my daughter?” she frantically screamed into the night. Melissa scrambled back onto her feet and ran around the carriage but saw no one. A huge lightning blast shattered reality and knocked Melissa off her feet. A fire started on the grass but was quickly extinguished by the torrential downpour. Melissa staggered through the carnival grounds looking for anyone. But she didn’t see a single soul. “Suzy, where are you?” she screamed at the top of her lungs. 

Broken pieces of stands and mangled stuffed animals hurtled through the air. Droplets of water turned into sharp needles in the wind, stinging any bare skin it came across. 

Suzy was dreaming. She was cozy and warm, cuddling in warm sheets, hugging her stuffed unicorn, and dreaming of becoming president of the world. But just as she was crowned president of the world, a cold started to pervade her dream. A deep cold that soaked through her body. Suzy jolted awake, confused and terrified. She was soaked and freezing cold, wrapped up tightly in a banner, and her head hurt. Suzy thrashed violently around trying to escape the folds of the enormous banner. She managed to wriggle free but immediately ducked back into the safety and relative warmness of her banner. 

The weather was violent and vicious. 

As soon as Suzy had crawled into the “safety” of the banner, a lightning blast exploded all around her. Her hair stood up on end and a high-pitched ringing started in her ears. She scrambled out of the banner and stood up dazedly. A large fire had started from the lightning right next to a portable generator, and the rain was not powerful enough to extinguish the fire. Just then Suzy heard in the distance, “Suzy, Suzy, where are you?”

“Mommy, mommy,” Suzy screamed frantically. Suzy spied her mom running towards her.

Melissa was running right towards the fire and generator. 

“Mommy,” Suzy sobbed in relief and elation and ran towards her mom.

Melissa was overcome with joy. She thought Suzy had died but she was alive. 

Melissa noticed a fire to her left, right next to a generator! 

“No, run Suzy! Run!”

 KABLAM! 

Tragedy takes everyone by surprise.

May 14, 2021 17:23

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2 comments

Corey Melin
19:06 May 14, 2021

Quite the intense read. Kept you reading to see what happens in the end. Not a pleasant ending, but not all ends well. Many upon many don't. Well done.

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Daniel Zachary
16:45 May 15, 2021

Thanks!

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