The Lost 7 Years

Sitting in front of the dressing table, Tauressa combed her hair like a daily chore. With a shiny but pale face, and dry eyes, she looked into the mirror. Her charming beauty was getting dull and dull with every passing instance. But for her, it was no more a matter of consideration. (She had been damaged brutally throughout the twenty-two years of married life, both physically and internally). She stopped looking into the mirror to avoid thinking, and started to count if anything left to do. Apparently, everything was in harmony. She had cooked a fine meal. The whole family had dinner together in silence. Both the children Virgon and Libressa were busy in scheduling their plans for tomorrow and preparing bed. Gym(her husband), lying on his side of bed, was scrolling his phone's screen. It was finally the time to sleep. After being roasted enough in catching up with all the house hold work and dragging the mental load, she went off to bed. Gym was all involved in his phone, and for Tauressa, she checked the last notifications on her phone before closing her eyes. However, it was not so important, she did it like a formality. (This strange ness was normal for both. This silence was left as an only connection between the couple). All of a sudden, Gym received a call from his former Boss. This phone call went a bit long, however, it was normally abnormal for Tauressa. Since both the partners had caught a huge communication gap, she didn't bother if anything went out of the way. When the call ended, Gym thought that Tauressa would be suspicious about the conversation on call, but she was not. She, in fact, didn't ask for anything. After the silence of a few minutes. He began to tell her, on his own, that his Boss wanted him to come back and rejoin. He shouldn't had left this way. He had better opportunities their, and so many other persuading facts, his Boss was talking about. She remained silent and kept listening like she had nothing else to do. Then, he said," I wouldn't go. Don't worry, I will not leave you". These were the only words out of the whole speech that caught her attention. Her expression less face frowned a little, and she looked at him senselessly. She was shaken, couldn't understand what was happening, like if she was lost somewhere in the stream of subconsciousness. She stared at him for a while, then passed a cold smile and ignored the matter like she didn't care. She turned her face side against him and pretended to be sleeping. He, as always, didn't bother her reaction and clung to his phone, again. In that environment of pin drop silence, Gym fell asleep, but she was as desperate as a fish out of pond. She couldn't stand those words. She kept tossing and turning for a long time, then stood up and rushed into the bathroom. She tried hard to hold back, but then, burst into tears. "Why would I worry? why would I worry? why? why?" She kept yelling. (Those words, actually, were her prolonged desire. She lived through a deadly time in chase of those words. But got to listen them, when she didn't expect. Her feelings for those words had died long ago. She, deep inside, knew that this all was not true. Though those words were brittle and would be broken soon, they still stabbed her hard in heart). She took a while to got back to senses. It was middle of the night, and she had lost sleep. She went in the back yard of the house. Sat on the swing which was placed there for children, her children never enjoyed that at time tho. Staring at the full moon, she was calmed down, yet tears kept rolling down her face. The whole marriage of 22 years passed by her eyes like a film. Every heart-wrenching memory started to pop up in her mind. (She was always an optimistic and resisting kinda person. She was a very obedient yet a stubborn nut. But this heavy load of a brittle relation transformed her into a complete hollow. She had never realized the weakness of this relationship till fourteen years and might had not realized if the last seven years had not struck her marriage like a hard slap on face. Her denial towards the reality confused her what to blame for all. Her decision of marring him for a beautiful life, or his decision of leaving her for a better future. There had been times when everyone used to idealize their companionship, and then, times had been when she couldn't believe if there was any essence of companionship between them. She had always been encountering bad times by letting them go, but the last seven years didn't let go of her. Seven years back, when Gym came to her, to convince her to let him go abroad for their children. He said he wanted to give them a life they deserved, however, his presence was all they deserved. His tone wasn't requesting, but like if he had decided. She was standing in between the scales of her sensitivity for Gym and the better life for their children. She agreed as she had no other choice, and destruction of her soul began. Gym left, saying that this separation was just of two years. He would come back home. He was so blind to achieve his aim that he left right after the death of their third child. He didn't think of how hard time Tauressa would be going through. Leona, who survived only for two days after birth and died in Tauressa's hands. Her stitches had not dissolved yet, and Gym had gone. Those two years had been the most destructive years for Tauressa. She went through a lot and all alone. Death of a newborn, distance with her love of life, and raising two kids under a typical, conservative societal environment. She just wanted that distance to finish soon, but that was, actually the beginning of a life long nightmare. Gym came after two years, but with an excuse to go back. It made Tauressa more and more desperate, and this desperation kept increasing with the number of years. Gap of two years turned into the gap of three years, then three to four, and four to five. Life was stuck in those years, for her, she was caged in a container with no way out, and no idea for how long this stay would last. She cried, tried every mean to bring him back. She fought with him for him, disconnected herself from him, even threatened him to divorce. But he wasn't coming. Their was no reason he could offer, yet he was not coming. He always knew in his heart that she would never leave. So, he took full advantage of her patience. Soon, that physical distance ate away the emotions of their relationship. And then, time came when their verbal relationship faded too. She had become empty, no longing, no hope, nothing. Even the tears had dried in her eyes. She spent all her strength in raising her children alone. People mocked her, taunted her, irrespective to her feelings, made her accept that Gym would not come back. But she kept pursuing their relation. After all, it was the thing for what she stood when everybody was against it. She never learnt to gave up on anything, then how could she lost on her own decision. So, she wasted even the last piece of her soul in proving the fate wrong. She became selfless in building the brittle sculpture of their relation. But she lost herself in those lost seven years. Seven years passed, and Gym came back, finally. After spoiling everything, he returned with no embarrassment, no realization of what he had done. Tauressa still accepted him for the sack of their children. The children who had been away from their father in every expect. Gym never showed his existence for them, and now, they had lost their sense of affection for him. Still everybody played their role in pursuing the drama of life. His appearance was no more valuable for anyone. It was like four strangers living under the same roof). Darkness faded and sun arose gradually, while she was remembering the dark time. In the morning, she again putted up with the same cycle of life. She made breakfast, and served finely. Everything began to happen with the same hustle. Virgon, and Libressa were busy in making life stable. (They knew that their life must had not begun with a good page, but they would definitely write rest of the story in a different way. They had accepted their past, and were neither more afraid of it, nor running from it. This strength of their character was a result of Tauressa's life long hardships. She fed her children with the confidence she had lost). Days passed and the silent environment of their home unlike home remained up. Ultimately, the day happened to come. When all were having dinner, Gym with his eyes down couldn't say more, but announced his departure. Virgon and Libressa instantly looked at their mother, while Tauressa didn't react at all. She kept looking into her plate, however, her expression less face looked a little more at ease. This time, she was no more desperate, like if she already knew about it or if she was waiting for it. Next day, she helped Gym with packing his luggage. (Though everything had been changed since the time they got married, he was still helpless with his stuff whenever he was home. Tauressa, on the other hand, also never compromised on his ease, she always pampered him beside of every kinda circumstances). It was his flight at night, in the evening, Gym was about to leave. Tauressa was calmly doing dishes in the kitchen, and Libressa was busy with other chores. Gym knew what he had lost, and had accepted his choice, so he didn't bother anyone. Virgon escorted him till gate. Because, their were no longed emotions between them, so they sight off each other with a gesture of hand shake. When Virgon returned in, Tauressa and Libressa left everything and came out. All three, with tears in their eyes, smiled at each other. They finally, felt a sense of freedom. Tauressa vibed new that came with a feeling of being freed from a dark cage. It had been a great time, that she smiled this pure. Her children had longed a lot to see her this way. They finally, had dinner together, and talked till late, sharing laughs and love. After that, they went off to beds. Tauressa, as usual, went through the notifications on her phone. She wondered about life and loss. She had always regretted for the loss of her children in the persuasion of her decisions, but for her, she never looked for any miracle.