Hey Jude

Jude peered outside her murky window across the midnight cityscape. The hot pink neon sign from Nellie’s was still burning brightly across the way, filtering in a pink glow throughout her cheap, rundown studio apartment. It highlighted the piles of clothes, stacks of dirty dishes and empty to-go containers littered within, unforgivingly. The busy street below was muffled by the same indie record spinning on its turntable that these four damp walls have heard repeatedly for the past week. A couple met outside the pub with a quick embrace and was hurriedly swept away in conversation. Jude watched them, without their knowing, and fantasized about what their life was like. She immediately thought they were naïve, untouched by the sting of heartbreak. Just then her cat, Tater, jumped up on the windowsill and startled Jude. She glanced away from the happy couple and gave her attention to her constant companion. The orange tabby purred in delight at the head rubs but quickly became disinterested and sauntered away. Jude managed to produce a smirk at his inability to make up his mind. She slowly peeled herself away from the window and looked around at the mess that was her home. She seemed to have equipped a sense of tunnel vision at the clutter that was strewn about and instead eyed her disheveled bed with a sense of longing and depravity. Another day had passed slowly and hazily inside these four damp walls.

Slowly she picked herself up and shut the curtains making her way over to her full sized unkempt bed. Jude lay there staring at the ceiling that was still alight ever-so-slightly with the residual neon glow. Tater meowed from across the room as to say goodnight and settled into his bed in the corner amongst the piles of dirty clothes. The record played its final song and spun out causing Jude to get up and unplug the player, she realized at that moment that she had forgotten to brush her teeth and headed to the cramped bathroom to do so. She had a bad habit of keeping the light off in the bathroom as to not see the state of herself in the mirror, but this night Jude wanted to entertain her dissoluteness and see how dire her appearance had gotten. Dark circles stared back where eyes used to be, cracked lips from biting them too much appeared in a lopsided frown, and overgrown eyebrows framed her face. The good news was there were no new breakouts, but she certainly did not recognize that pale gaunt face that haunted the reflection. Shivering, she quickly shut the light off and set about brushing her teeth, something she quite often forgot to do as of late. Pulling off her old pajama shirt, she grabbed a fresh one off the ground and slipped it on. Patting Tater on the head to his disapproval, she clambered back in bed and pulled the covers up over her head to the sound of the street below. She fell into a restless sleep that was interrupted by the neighbors arguing next door at about three o’clock—this was a usual occurrence that only sometimes resulted in the police being called. Thankfully tonight it did not escalate and she managed to fall back asleep only to be awoken by Tater at dawn for his prompt breakfast. Half awake, Jude fed the demanding cat then slumped back into her slumber. Finally at about midday, she climbed out of bed and opened her eyes to the same four damp walls.

The day was Sunday; it had been three days since she officially turned her phone off and isolated herself in her apartment with her cat. It had been five days since she quit her job and seven since Paul had left her. At this point, the days melted together in a haze like the hot concrete streets that lined her apartment building. Although today she knew it was Sunday because she could hear church bells from St. Peter’s a few blocks away. Drawing back the curtains from the sun toasted window, she glanced at the busy street and thought about all the lives that it inhabited. Had it really only been a week since Paul disappeared from her life? Only leaving a note while taking so much more including his cat, Tot. Jude looked around at all of the empty spaces that remain: The record shelf that was half missing, the drawers where Paul kept his clothes, the side of the bed he slept on that remain frigidly untouched, the dusty spot on the kitchen bar where his coffee mug used to occupy. She glanced at her phone which lay indifferent to her inattention to it on her bedside table. Still too soon, she thought, and instead stared back outside to all of the faces that made up the mosaic that was her street. This was a daily occurrence which normally occupied most of her time. Jude liked to imagine the lives of each individual and play out scenarios in her head. Most of them were better off than her, and ended up living much more successful lives where their dreams actually came true. Jude moved to the city to pursue her own idealistic dreams; a story told over and over again in the underbelly of this city. She had quickly become discouraged after seeing peers fail, and seeing her own success story slowly dwindle. And that’s when Paul came into the mix. He was the other half to her one person band; he had the talent and charisma to land gigs, and their music was far better off as a pair than on their own any day. He played his way into her life and together they wrote their way into a promising future. Jude still had to keep her day job at the record store, but every weekend they had a gig lined up, and life seemed to turn into a dance rather than a drag.

The day he left, she arrived home from dinner with friends to a note on the kitchen counter that started “Hey Jude”. The rest is really irrelevant, at least in Jude’s mind. He was gone. He was no longer happy here, and he had to leave.  Leave her behind and all of their memories, their future plans, their shared dreams. Jude had no idea how to cope with her entire existence shattering, so she let it fall apart and didn’t try to pick up the pieces.

Slowly the day passed occupied with people watching, snacking, chain smoking, and playing that same record on repeat. At one point she thought she witnessed a drug deal go down at the corner and contemplated calling the police, but that would require her shutting on her phone, a task that seemed too much to bear. The phone ban started when she not-so-accidentally stumbled across an Instagram story that contained a shot of Paul in the background. It was posted by her friend Star, and made an already rocky situation that much worse. They were at their local spot, Corner Pub, and he was most definitely glued to a random girl at the bar. She re-watched it over and over again until she made herself so sick she didn’t eat for an entire day. This is why her phone lay untouched, shut down on her night stand until further notice.

At nine P.M. the fire alarm in her apartment building started to go off. Not again, she thought. This would be the third time this month. It had never been anything serious, usually resulting from a bored teen or just a drill. She scooped up Tater and glanced in the mirror. Gross, she remarked. It had been a few days since she last washed her hair, and her outfit was less than appealing. Though, she didn’t really care. The people in her building were just that, people in her building; she didn’t care what they thought of her appearance. She made her way outside her studio for the first time in five days and grumbled to the stairwell along with the other disgruntled occupants. Most of the residents were Jude’s age, or considerably older. These units were much too small to house families, which was a good thing she thought because there were at least no crying babies to worry about. Passing by the last unit before the stairwell she heard a familiar tune trickle out from the door way in between blares from the alarm. Immediately she stopped in her tracks and confirmed that it was indeed the song she was thinking of. “Something” by The Beatles played surreptitiously out of apartment 301; its occupant sleepily peering out the door to see what the clamor was all about. In that moment Jude immediately felt embarrassed at the state of her appearance, they glanced at each other in a weird alerted way that felt as if time had ceased, with the lyrics of her favorite song playing on in the background. It felt like one of those moments you see in the movies, or one of the made up stories Jude made about the strangers on the street. He shrugged at her and stepped back inside briefly, emerging with slippers and a lanyard. She noticed the music had also halted just before the final verse, but the alarm rang on.

“What is this all about? Third time this month, huh?” The stranger observed. Jude still stood there mouth half open petting Tater and startled to say, “Oh, uh, yeah I know. It’s starting to get old.” He glanced at her cat and extended a hand to let him sniff it, Tater looked away with indignation. “Don’t worry about him, he doesn’t even like me half of the time” Jude responded. He chuckled and started toward the stairs. “I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Harrison, or you can just call me Harry for short” he stated as he started descending the stairs. Oh like George Harrison… Jude muttered to herself in a sort of daze. “Sorry, what was that?” Harry questioned, glancing over his shoulder eyebrow half raised. “Oh nothing, I was talking to my cat. His name is Tater by the way, and mine is uh, Jude.” He smiled at that and began whistling the tune of “Something” as he continued descending.

Overhead the alarm kept on, but the buzz of conversation all around them was what caught Jude’s focus. She hadn’t socialized with anyone other than her food delivery drivers in five days; the last person she actually held a conversation with—besides Tater—was her boss when she quit. It felt entirely overwhelming to be surrounded by all of these people with no window barrier in between, and to add to that, this new person Harry was making her nervous, but in a seemingly good way. They continued chatting on, keeping up small talk; she learned quite a bit about his personal history in the time they waited out the fire alarm in the courtyard. He was new to the city, and had only lived in the building for about a month, which explains why they haven’t really run into each other. He was working two jobs, one at a coffee shop a few blocks down during the day, and one as a bartender at Nellie’s during nighttime. He, like many young people, came to the city to pursue his creative faculties—writing in this instance. Jude listened and soaked it all in like a sponge, every word he spoke she gained a little more confidence in being in his presence. She was still well aware that she looked like a bum, but he didn’t seem to notice, or was too polite to comment. After fifteen minutes the fire alarm finally ceased and they were given the all clear to return to their apartments. They both looked around at the hoard of people stumbling back inside.

He turned back to her and confessed, “Well I have to apologize to you Jude, I feel like I just talked your ear off. Truth is I haven’t really had anyone to talk to lately being new to town and all.” Stumbling upon her words, Jude choked out “D-don’t worry about it. I’ve been pretty lonely myself-“ She quickly cut herself off realizing how pathetic she sounded to this complete stranger and definitely didn’t mean to come across that way. “Not that you’re lonely! I’m sorry that came out wrong” she exclaimed. Harry laughed and attempted to pet Tater again, but once again failed. “Maybe one day we’ll be best buds, but not tonight I’m afraid” he said to the restless cat. He glanced back up and met Jude’s eyes, “Well I suppose we should head back inside, unless you plan on sleeping out here tonight” and gestured toward the now not-so-packed staircase. She smirked and headed off after him. When they got to their floor, and therefore Harry’s door, he turned to say, “Well goodnight Jude and Mr. Tater. Guess I’ll be seeing you guys around. Thanks for being my fire alarm buddies.” Jude replied in a soft voice “Sure thing, have a good night.” She walked onward to her own unit and noticed him watching her out of the corner of her eye. When she managed to get the key in the lock he slipped inside his own door just at the same moment. She shut the door behind her, set Tater down, and looked across her tinted pink studio made up of these four damp walls.

The record she had playing earlier that night had finished its last song sometime between the alarm going off and her return, so she ambled over to shut it off once more. This time she stopped to remove the track and place it back in its sleeve on the shelf. I’m tired of that album, she thought. Fingering through her records she came across the Abbey Road album that contained her favorite song. She smiled to herself fingering the cover, then set it back and went to take a shower.

The next morning Tater woke her up at his usual breakfast time, but instead of going back to sleep, Jude stayed awake and set about cleaning up her apartment. Once everything was tidy and in its place, she grabbed her trash and dirty laundry and headed out the door. She had planned to do her chores and grab breakfast at her favorite local cafe for the first time in over a week. As she turned to lock the door she noticed a note taped to the outside. It began “Hey Jude”. The author was Harry, and he had jotted down his number along with an invitation to grab lunch sometime this week. She grinned and headed back inside to grab her phone.