I miss you Sam

Lucy turned in bed, the warmth of the morning sun seeping through the sheer curtains, blowing in the gentle dawn breeze. A little bird chirped heartily close by. She peered through one eye – there was a little red breasted creature, chirping as if to tell her it was time to rise.

“Well, good morning to you too, little fellow,” Lucy whispered, stretching her arms over her, allowing the first rays of sun to bathe her in their warmth.

She turned to look at Sam, her partner, lying beside her. Almost like he could feel her stare, his eyes slowly opened. He smiled.

“Good morning beautiful,” Sam said, reaching for her.

“Good morning sleepy head,” she said, inching in close for a kiss. It was a sweet, brief kiss.

“Coming to watch the sunrise with me?” Lucy asked.

“I have the best morning view right here,” Sam said, pulling her in for a long, sensuous kiss. He could feel her body responding to his kiss.

 “There’s a lot more where that came from…” he said, slowly pulling away.

He nudged her to get up, knowing he had completely thrown her off balance.

“Come on, the sun won’t wait much longer…” Sam said, winking at her as he wrapped a towel that had been carelessly thrown onto the floor by the bed and walked toward the balcony.

“Oh, I’m so going to get you back for that,” she said, getting up. She grabbed the bath robe that Sam had slowly untied and taken off her the night before and followed him to the balcony.

Standing beside him, she wrapped one arm around his waist, he held her close. It was just the two of them and nature. The view was spectacular. They were at their favorite get-away – a little bird sanctuary called Samuka Island, on Lake Victoria in Uganda. The very first time they visited was on a drunken whim when Sam had taken Lucy out on a date in the early months of their relationship, a year ago. At that time, he had jokingly talked about the island as they were doing Sambuka shots. Lucy had thought why not? She was not working that weekend, it would be perfect. And, it was.

Here they were again. It felt even better than the year before. The lake glistened as the sun’s rays fell across its peaceful surface, little ripples of hope and promises of a glorious weekend. The sound of the water kissing the shore down below the balcony was soothing, almost hypnotic.

Lucy moved to stand in front of Sam, leaning on the balcony rail, her arms holding him at the waist.

“Sam?” she called to him, looking into his brown eyes.

With a questioning expression, one eyebrow raised, he looked right back at her. “What?” he asked, rubbing her arms.

“I am pregnant.”

Silence. The rush of the water to shore breaking the silence.

“Sam?” Lucy nudged, her heart beating, in anxious anticipation for his response.

“Really?” he asked.

“Yes, really,” Lucy said. “I did a home test and confirmed it with my doctor two days ago.”

“Oh baby, that’s great!” Sam said, smiling down at her. “We’re having a baby?”

“Yes, we are,” she said.

“This is what we talked about…family, kids…” Sam said, holding her close. His arms around her was all the assurance she needed that she was going to be happy and safe with Sam for a very long time.

Suddenly, the gentle sun rays gave way to a brilliance of light, like nature was sending a congratulatory message to Sam and Lucy.

There was a loud shrill - Lucy’s phone was ringing. A client whose book she was editing.

Lucy had been caught up in the memories of that time on Samuka Island six years ago.

Quickly gaining her composure and wiping the tears from her face, she answered the phone.

“Hello Patience,” Lucy greeted her client.

They had a conversation about the latest edit notes Lucy had sent and set a new deadline for when Patience should submit the revised manuscript back to Lucy.

She went back to her memories of Sam. It had been a beautiful six years and three beautiful daughters to show for it, until colon cancer had robbed her of her love, and her children their father.

Here she was, back on Samuka Island seven years after his death. It had been seven years of learning to live with the pain that once felt like it would never fade; seven years of picking herself up every morning and finding the courage to go on; seven years of being strong for her daughters; seven years of becoming the strong woman she was today.

Here she was, with her daughters – 12-year-old Danielle, 9-year-old Inara and Reyna, now 7 – she was barely three months old when he died.

She heard the pitter patter of feet and the excited chatter of her children’s voices. She had let them take a walk down to the path and back up to the cottage.

“Mummy!” little Reyna shouted, “we saw all the lights coming on in the compound!” she ran to Lucy, throwing her little arms around her mother.

“Oh, did you now?” Lucy said, hugging her daughter tight.

“Okay, girls, it is getting late and you want to keep your energy up for tomorrow…”

“Oh, can we stay up just a little bit longer?” Inara asked.

“We are on vacation, mum,” said Danielle, complete with the gesture of a pre-teen coming into her own.

“Ok, an hour more…what do you want to do?”

“Could we watch a movie?” Danielle asked.

“Yes, a movie!” Inara and Reyna chorused.

“Alright, Dani, you help your sisters find a movie on the TV.”

They got comfortable on the floor of the sitting area.

“Okay, mum’s going to enjoy the balcony, see you…”

Her words fell on deaf ears. The girls were already engrossed in the beginning of Frozen II – Lucy couldn’t remember how many times they had watched the movie.

She glanced one more time at the girls and smiled.

Picking up the bottle of Merlot she had ordered to the cottage, she poured herself a glass. She walked to the balcony and made herself comfortable on one of the wicker chairs.

The sound of crickets filled the warm September night, with the odd croak of a toad. The sound of the water kissing the shore down below brought back memories of her time with Sam on this balcony. It could have only been fate that when she called to book the cottage for this weekend, it was available.

A tear fell down her face, but she was not sad. She was happy. Happy that she could look back on the years with Sam and smile. Happy that she could bring the girls here. Happy that they had fallen in love with her and Sam’s island.

Lifting her glass to the universe, Lucy said: “This is to you…” she took a sip, staring out at the moon’s reflection on the water’s surface.

 “I miss you so much, Sam.”