“Where did you come from?”
“Nowhere good.”
“Where have you been?”
“Nowhere good.”
“Where are we heading?”
“Nowhere good.”
For the first time in a long time, you are taking me with you, hoping for a lifetime to enjoy my dullest wintertime. I can finally get to set my foot to your forbidden space. Where you left me to feel what you have felt to be left alone, got myself nobody to hear my song, you caught me as you laugh to tease how it's alike to a birdsong. To see what you have seen in the other side of the town, home to devilry and everything that mismatch you. To feel the air scattered by tangled jest and sounds intended to be blanket-covered. No angel would love to hear how'd you get in the grounds inferior to hell.
When flowers died on a Monday, when I stopped stopping by for a hey. My soul never left our first May, our vim plays, and a developed companion I promised to bring forth the vow of obeying the sangfroid dreams of the children from within us, a vision that started as childishly pinky crossing when we barely even know each other’s name. I’m sorry we had to grow up, no, I am sorry I wasn't able to be a child with you forever. I know you only wanted effortless routine of happiness and playtime. And the gaps in between not seeing you are immersed in despondency and loneliness.
I wonder if you already knew, how much I feel for you, is much farther from a childhood friend. As much as our footful steps crave for the far edge to escape our home of people who know every who's family.
Sitting on a wide pasture, truncate of grass that strokes my skin from the grounds, your voice being the only way to get me to your gardens.
“And where have you been?”
“Where I always am.”
Likely the path to your home is unpeopled but abound to juveniles who grew up as chaotic as the inner you, I don’t know. I never knew, I was never the one to check on you. But I can see from a distance, hear it from the birds. You are the most abandoned of them all. How their eyes are at the edge to reach you without a skin-dip to appear to notice you. Putting happy faces that- to put simply- avoid the audacious magnetizing undertone of yours.
But look at me. Hanging out with someone like you. I sacrificed my stand, to sit with you. I threw my crown to grow flowers with you. I know somewhere beneath your skin lies a camouflaged lotus, a beautiful flower that grows from the dirtiest waters.
Barring, I will leave in shame all the same because I left my throne too late. This realm of Earth that comes between life and death. You locked me in a place that I will loathe to live in. As they hail my name I keep being reminded how I only needed to devote in one only soul.
How the sun surfaced to bespread itself between the clouds, a disarming ray making me smile more than I thought I could ever feel as euphoric. Remembering your smile that sent rhapsody to my bones. The avidity in your smile that makes the sea waves wild, your viridity like a threat controlling the rhythm of my breath, the time’s serendipity in every sight to make my kingdom fail and collide. You make the great king within me be off guard next to you.
Now, regrets harvest the time I missed when the chance was immense to tell what is untold. The sweet sound of I love you.
For what may come, the promise that I will be yours is buried along the lingering sorrow, deep in my chest. A mourn I can not keep as their eyes put me under tender surmise. Showing of pique is a step ahead than to uncover a history I would rather be kept scarred in my heart. When what is unbeknownst to many was the happiest moments we shared on this hill. Seeing marine beauty that is nothing next to you. You are the only place aparting the rest of the world that will always revive and wreck my core, concomitantly admiring regretful nostalgia and unsaid farewells at this very place. Your grave being my home, and surely, my last resting place.
And an interconnection of events as soon as I knew, I think I am hearing your voice the moment I read your near passing as an outlaw.
“Why did you do this?”
“I have to, it’s the only way you will make it,” though it is painful I imagine you smiling as you fulfill your word of honor to protect me.
Guide me next to you and I will know happiness for the second time. Lead me again to your smiles that left a mark of unforgiving gesture of fate. Let my life be under this grounds to lay beside you.
You gave me no chance but to wait, but this time, not anymore to escape and see you, but to have patience of drying my skin or giving my blood or dying of sickness. Painful enough but will be nothing if I spend longer time having no real company.
In a world where I was taught that everything and everyone is a rivalry, you taught me that love is a forest I could grow in.
This type of longing as to remember nostalgic scene, there is no word that can capture my peace as I move on. Now I tell stories, now I write poems, now I see more grasses, now I hear more laughter. The fluidity of differences of events make me appreciate you being here and being gone.
Even in the afterlife, sun will shine there and aliveness will grow from within me.
To the darling of this wild town
An obstinate to many, my unconditional protectress
And I am King, the Queen.
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1 comment
Omg your writing is so refined-
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