6 comments

General

I have been up all night. It is probably around 3 in the morning, if I am guessing right. I'll be leaving in an hour. That's the time declared. 

It's really cold in here. It is freezing when you have to sleep on a thin bed sheet on the floor. Winters are seemingly around the corner. 

I stand up from my bed- that's what I like to call it- and walk towards the little sink. There is barely a trickle of water when I turn the tap on. 

I always wanted to live a better life. Have a house with enough water supply and light and also a bed. It just frustrates me to think about how great my life could have been and still here I am.

I put my hands under the water and surprisingly it isn't freezing at all. I splash the water on my face. 

It is a dark room with just a little bulb which emits almost nothing. I come and sit on my bed again. 

" I AM NOT GOING TO WAIT HERE FOR A MINUTE. YOU. YOU HAVE RUINED MY ENTIRE LIFE! " Jack screamed so loud, his voice trembled.

" DON'T YOU DARE KEEP A STEP OUT MR. NOT WITHOUT YOUR SON. " Julie replied back just as loud if not louder.

Julie picked up a vase and threw it at Jack when he tried to get out. 

*CRASH!*

" ARE YOU FREAKING OUT OF YOUR MIND? YOU WITCH! "

I came down because of all the noise. " What the hell is going on? "

" YOU. YOU ARE THE REASON WHY I AM STUCK IN THIS HOLE. LET ME TELL YOU ONE THING YOUNG MAN I DO NOT CARE A BIT ABOUT YOU. YOU WERE NO LESS THAT A FILTHY MISTAKE. YOU WANTED A 16TH BIRTHDAY WITH YOUR FATHER RIGHT? THIS IS IT I AM LEAVING YOU WITH HIM NOW.  "

She started walking towards the door when Jack punched her in the jaw and she fell on the floor with a thud.

She wasn't moving. Probably fell unconscious.

" WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE! " I screamed.

Jack stood there breathing heavily and sweating his clothes wet. 

Julie started groaning on the floor after a while and tried standing up with a mouth full of blood. 

" I AM GOING TO KILL YOU! "

She ran to the kitchen and got a knife. 

" Julie, stop right there. " Jack said with caution. She started running towards him.

" THE HELL! " He ran out the door with her chasing him with a knife in her hand.

It has been 20 years since I saw my parents for the last time. I don't know where any of them went after the fight. I never heard of or from them. Are they even alive? I don't know. They left all their possessions home. I hoped for a long time they'd come back, but they didn't.

I look outside to see if anyone's there. No one has woken up yet. Why do I even expect them to? It's 3:30am for god's sake. I probably won't be getting to see them before I am gone. They probably don't even care. 

I have been here for almost six months now. Some of the people were quite crazy in the beginning and some were just silent grim. They asked me why I was here. I didn't know what to say most of the time. But they thought I was cool.

I lay down on the bed again waiting for the waiting to end. It is just difficult to leave something while knowing that you have to leave it. I start wondering what my life would be like if all this wouldn't have happened. What if I had never caused this? What if I hadn't met Emily? What if I had refused to go to her father's that evening? 

" You are going to be fine, Jay. My dad is going to love you. " Emily said persuasively.

" Emily, I really don't think this is a great idea. I am not ready for this. " I said.

" Honey, trust me you'll be fine. Let's go, he's waiting for you. "

I hated this. She knew I had issues with my parents and she never stopped bragging about how great hers were. 

She rang the door-bell, to be opened and greeted by a tall, old man.

" Hey dad. " Emily hugged her father.

" Hey sweety. And you are Jay. " He said looking at me.

" Yes sir. Uh. Good evening. " 

" Come on in. "

We were at the dinner table when he asked about my parents. 

" So, Emily tells me your parents left you when you were sixteen. Is that true? " He asked me very unapologetically.

" Yes sir. " My blood was already starting to boil at his words.

" May I ask why? Why would a parent just leave like that? Did you do something? " I couldn't believe his nerve for asking me that.

I looked at Emily questioning her ignorance. She acted like she didn't know what was happening. 

" No. " I wanted to say and do so much more.

" Come on tell me did one of them have an affair? " 

" I do not really wish to talk about it. "

He laughed and said, " Come on now tell me. Don't be a baby. "

" And why should I tell you? " 

" Why shouldn't I know? My daughter is in a relationship with you and I have to know about you. I don't want my son in law to be a jackass whose parents left him. "

That, right there was my breaking point. 

I stand up and walk to the wall beside the sink. I have been marking the days left. I cross the last one with a piece of stone.

They should be here now. It is almost time I think. I walk back to my bed, sit down and close my eyes, waiting.

" Hey, hey you. Get up. It's time. " He says banging on the bars with his baton.

I walk over as he unlocks the cell gate.

" So, any last wishes? " He asks.

July 10, 2020 19:45

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

6 comments

Kate Enoch
13:25 Jul 16, 2020

I loved the ending! You probably did this on purpose, but I'm still curious to know how he got in jail. You alluded to him possibly murdering Emily's father, but the entire situation was unclear.

Reply

B H
16:47 Jul 16, 2020

Thank you so much! Yes, he actually killed both of them. I realise now that it wasn't clear enough. I really appreciate you commented.

Reply

Kate Enoch
17:24 Jul 16, 2020

Thanks for the clarification! Why did he chose to ill Emily?

Reply

B H
18:16 Jul 16, 2020

His extreme rage made him do that. His parents leaving him in a horrible state really scarred him and when Emily's father kept poking it, he lost control and killed her as well. I also mentioned that she never really understood his issues with his parents. Well, I think this story needs a lot of polishing to be done.😅

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Ananya Bhalla
19:37 Jul 22, 2020

I loved the last line, because it really tied up the story. I do think that a bit more development concerning Jay’s relationship with his parents would’ve helped the reader better understand how terribly they affected him. The one fight scene shed light on their relationship, but not enough to really understand why he would kill two people because they mentioned his parents. The story is promising and has potential for a lot of depth and psychological drama, but you have to slow down and show multiple sides of your main character so readers ...

Reply

B H
15:58 Jul 24, 2020

I am so gald you gave your feedback. It is for sure very very helpful. I realise I had left a lot of things unexplained which made the story look a bit incomplete. I would surely work on that. Thank you so much for commenting!❣️

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Reedsy | Default — Editors with Marker | 2024-05

Bring your publishing dreams to life

The world's best editors, designers, and marketers are on Reedsy. Come meet them.