How not to Write a Novel

Here we are in Reedsy, so why isn't this story titled, 'How to become an Author?' An author is a step up from being a writer. It means you have published something. So, if we have entered the competition to any prompt at all, approval to enter means we have been published. The definition of an author is having written a book (e.g. a novel), article, or play. Pat yourselves on the back. You are authors.

Most authors don't feel such a sense of accomplishment until they have had a book or novel published, and many do publish their own. This needn't detract from their quality. However, it is essential to have some clues about writing. And I don't mean knowledge of grammar and spelling, though this helps. Trust me, a good story poorly written ticks more boxes than a bad story written well. But who wants a fantastic tale described as 'a great premise'. . . but what happened after that? We all know that if we don't give our dream novel a good kick-start and self-edit, our editor will throw his hands up in despair and say, 'I don't know how to fix this!'

What if a writer doesn't know all this? I know what happens because I've been there. The key is to learn from our mistakes and keep moving forward.

First of all, don't try to write an adult novel if you are a child. I know because I tried it. Hundreds of pages of it, all handwritten. I hadn't learned to type. I didn't know enough about history or life to do a good job. I didn't even know what research was. For example, I didn't realise that the first Industrial Revolution happened after London burned in 1666. You can't write a story about both happening simultaneously. That attempt was trashed. Conclusion 1: Children can't write adult stories.

So I waited until I was a teen. Teenagers have lots of problems. Again, not a good time of life to write an adult novel. I kept it despite its being incomplete until I was an adult. The premise and story were good. I had learned when the Industrial Revolution happened. But my taste dictated otherwise. I decided I had two feet on the ground and no longer liked fantasy. Motherhood can do that. I considered writing a book about childcare. At least, I wrote anecdotal clips for a children's magazine and won prizes. My book, however, was consigned to the bin.

Years ago, my husband decided to go to America with my brother and a childhood friend. They purchased a red Cadillac to do Route 66 in the middle of Summer and set off to fulfil their dreams. Something they regretted after almost dissolving in Arizona. They discovered the hottest place was in Needles. Their accommodation had no air conditioning. After sitting in the living room of their motel, they decided to flee without getting a refund. It was to stay and be cooked alive, or leave quickly.

What we wives were warned about was something different. As the top of the convertible would be down (Summer and all that), it would be a bad hair day every day! I don't believe they wanted us along.

While the menfolk were away, it seemed an excellent opportunity to rewrite my fantasy story. A friend agreed to critique in stages. His feedback was invaluable. It made me think about a working title, a backstory to explain how the story started, and numerous other specifics. I developed a focused writing routine, without the usual demands and interruptions. I had learned to type and could spell. Research was easy with a PC. What could go wrong?

Within six weeks, I had written it and completed half of book 2. No writer's block encountered. I assigned caution to the winds. During the process, it occurred to me that it would be too long. I realised it would require a third book.

So, caution number 2: Don't start a three-book series before you have tackled something like a short story, or at least two. Don't even start with one book. Seriously. Start with something manageable, something that won't overwhelm you. It's all about building your skills and confidence, one step at a time.

But the book was already written. I trusted my friend when he told me that the story and writing improved as it progressed. Or, he got used to my writing just as I speak because he already knew me so well. Trust me. Rule 3: Do not write a book in the same way you talk.

After finding out that the word 'that' proliferates in writing if you don't take care, and finding that 'that' had proliferated ad nauseam, I removed as many as possible.

I decided that there must be other words that repeat, multiply and inundate. What were they? My friend had been unduly kind to me in saying my book-length story was a good one.

If you look up the 100 most used words in the spoken English language, do not think that it doesn't matter to repeat them when writing. At best, it is repetitive and boring. At worst, it makes readers wade through 'glue'. An author friend I collaborated with first told me about glue. I thought, PVA? No. Look it up. It bogs down readers, creates distance between the reader and the story, and makes a book's length so much longer. As you pay a publisher per word and page, it adds up. Writing concisely is better and cheaper.

Don't start me on adjectives. I used to think that the more I used them, the stronger the description would be. Less is more when it comes to adjectives. Use power words, use the strongest words you can for everything, and choose stronger verbs (instead of many adverbs). And delete as many adjectives as you can.

Using identical words too often can signal to readers that you're relying on ChatGPT or AI tools to write. There are at least 500 of these words or phrases. A lot of them are fancy ways to start sentences. Now I know we all want to start sentences with variety. But seriously, don't embellish. Don't become a Fancy Nancy writer. The sentence reads better without it. Not only that, a warning in Grammarly that your writing resembles an AI's writing may not mean your writing is good. Apparently, a judge here in Reedsy will review and disregard possible winners for this reason alone - assuming an AI has written their stories.

Rule number 4: Banish as many as you can - weak, repetitious words and phrases, filler words and filter words. (especially glue, adjectives and adverbs)

Like peeling an onion to its center, each new thing I learned was implemented after the fact. And after I paid for a professional beta read, because I was too scared to ask anyone else to read my story. The embarrassment was at least private, not public. I re-read what he wrote about my incredible story sometimes and feel humbled. Suggestion 5: Don't be afraid of honest, unembellished criticism. It may hurt, but it will tell you what needs to be done. Better still, learn how to write before you embark on a three-book series!

There is more to think about before you write your book. You would be correct to assume I never did any of it well. Oops.

Point of view has nothing to do with making a point. And to make a point in dialogue, there is no small talk. It is purposely constructed to propel the story forward and show characterisation. However, you need to pare it down to the bare essentials, while still maintaining naturalness.

Suggestion 6: No soapbox speeches unless you are trying to be Shakespeare.

I didn't understand why I wanted to write my book. I was never aware of genres or target audiences. I never started work on an email list. I did think about my plot and knew every part had to fit together, but I am not an outline person. My muse or subconscious came up with solutions to plot holes and problems that cropped up along the way. Like many authors, you know when you've got the story right. It already existed. But getting it down for others to read and enjoy is not easy at all. I rewrote the ending numerous times until readers liked it.

Anyone who has written an epistle has done exceptionally well. Don't trash it. If any steps have been forgotten, like the first ones before you start, and the ones in the middle that you use for ruthless revision and self-editing, never, ever give up. Perseverance and stamina are required. Dump those darlings, delete the trash, polish that prose, simplify your sentences, and eliminate weak writing.

Writers are all in great company. Suggestion 7. Write short stories here at Reedsy Prompts. I did this for a couple of years. It's a great routine to have. But do this before writing your book. The skills you learn and the friends you make will help you become the author you want to be. The result may surprise you.

THE END. No. I mean the continuation.