The Proposal She Didn’t Want

Submitted into Contest #50 in response to: Write a story about a proposal. ... view prompt

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There once was a very poor man deeply in love with a woman. His name is Jeremiah. She was a very wealthy one as well. Yet. Jeremiah didn’t want the money, he wanted her love. He would do anything to get her attention yet, it didn't work. She had eyes for someone else but, Jeremiah didn't know that. Once Jeremiah had the confidence to go up to her and ask what her name was, she replied with, “Aubrie.“ and walked away. Jeremiah said, “Alright Aubrie, I’m  going to give you something you won't regret.” And so he bought a suit and a ring with what money he had left. Once he saw Aubrie at the mall, he walked up to her, got down on one knee and asked, “Aubrie, Will you marry me and make me the happiest man in the world?” She looked shocked at the question because she doesn’t even know his name! How could a woman marry a man she barely knows and doesn’t even look Wealthy! No rich father would agree! as she thought that, she said “No, I’m sorry I have eyes for someone else and you don’t look wealthy you poor man!” and walked off. I was in tears, but she was right. I’m not wealthy. I’m very poor trying to make a living. Yet, I had thought of making my own business and so I did. For the next few years, I worked my a** off trying to get the wealth Aubrie wants. He started hiring men to work for him and a few years later, he got extremely wealthy! He was walking where he proposed to Aubrie and walked up to her saying “Hello Aubrie. Remember me?” She said, “I’m so sorry, no I don’t remember you.” And called for her boyfriend. As her boyfriend walked up to Aubrie, Jeremiah looked shocked! He turned pale. Aubrie turned to look at her boyfriend and looked back at Jeremiah and asked, “Are you alright? You look pale.” Aubrie’s boyfriend looked at her and chuckled, “Baby that’s my boss. He makes a ton of money and pays me the millions!” Jeremiah looked at Aubrie and said, “A few years ago I proposed to you. You denied and told me I look poor. In which, I was. Yet, for you, I changed. I come back here to find you to propose once again and I see you’re with one of my Workers.“ Aubrie looked as pale as I did! ”I’m so sorry. You didn’t reach my standards for wealth.” Said Aubrie. Jeremiah nodded and said “Don’t judge a book by its cover, You never know what could be inside.” as he walked away. Aubrie looked surprised and ran up to Jeremiah and tapped him on the shoulder. ”Sir! Wait!” said Aubrie. Jeremiah  turned around confused “Yes, Aubrie?” Asked Jeremiah. “Thank you. I learned my lesson on not judging people by their looks or Wealth, but I was hoping, Maybe we could be friends? Stay in touch and gather for a recap of how you got this far?” Aubrie asked. “Of course!” Said Jeremiah “Here’s my number.” He pulled out a notebook and wrote his number on a piece of paper. “Thank you!” Said Aubrie. Jeremiah nodded and walked home. Once Jeremiah got home he went to bed because it was an exhausting day. When he woke up he got up and got ready for the day. He made a coffee and went outside to see the view of the sunrise. He sat on his patio and drank his coffee. He looked at the time and it was 7:36 AM. Jeremiah got a text message. “Hm?” He said confusingly. “Who is this?” It was a text from Aubrie. The text read: “Hey Jeremiah! I was wondering if I could come over with my boyfriend to hear about your come back? If that’s okay with you?” Jeremiah texted back saying, “Of course! Here’s my address: *******.” 

As soon as he sent the message she was on her way. Once Aubrie and her boyfriend got there, they all sat down on the Patio and Jeremiah started explaining. “Once you said No and that you had someone else in mind I started crying, But then I thought, ‘What if I change for her?’ And so I did, I went home and started planning. I thought about what you would like and what I could do to be wealthy, I thought of becoming an Investment Banker so I built my own building and started hiring people, One being your boyfriend. After a few years of working there and being the boss, I gained enough money to become wealthy and so I did and to this day I still work as an Investment Banker!” Jeremiah continues to explain what he has done as Aubrie and her boyfriend listen carefully. “Oh wow, you’ve done a lot these past few years Jeremiah!” said Aubrie. “Yeah, I agreed. You’ve really both done and went through a lot,” said Aubrie‘s boyfriend. ”Yeah, well when you want to be with someone so badly there are things to accomplish.” He says jokingly. They all chuckle and continue speaking with each other for hours. “Jeremiah when you Proposed to me I was honestly kind of shocked. Only because I barely knew you at all! Then I barely knew your name.” Said Aubrie 

“Being in love makes you do stupid things,” Jeremiah said as he chuckled. It went very silent though, a comforting silence. “It’s been nice chatting with you!” Aubrie said to break the silence. Jeremiah nodded “I agree. Now that you know me more maybe we could get married.” He winks at Aubrie as he laughs. Though Aubrie’s boyfriend didn’t look too fond of that idea, Then again they are dating. It kind of hurts knowing they are but I can’t do anything about it. It's okay though! Because of me, Jeremiah Schwitz is going to find a new girl to marry and I won’t give up until I find the perfect one!

July 14, 2020 07:34

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1 comment

Rhonda Hyder
06:53 Jul 23, 2020

A story with a good moral! Well done Kasey. You did a great job of rousing sympathy for your central hero character. The twist in your story where the impoverished Jeremiah becomes the millionaire was a true fairytale ending, even if he didn't get the girl! I think he was probably better off without her anyway. Some things to watch out for next time, are changing from one tense to another and also slipping from first person into second person in your story. Good luck with your future writing!

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