Once Again

1. 1980 is without any doubt the best year for city A. Shining fields of flowers, water that is so clean it is used to clean other waters, and an inner city dominated by the youth. Not water, but red wine is the fluid of choice.

2. 1982 may - with reservations - be the year one puts here. A gets some new business that nobody expected. In those days the youth pushed themselves in French restaurants. The surrounding rural area lie in quiet desperation as their children move to A.

3. 1985: The youth is still pushing it in A. Meanwhile several farmers protest in the city. Their animals, their pigs, and their gnats always firmly by their side. "How are we supposed to stay in business?" they shout while their animals push the youth away from the street. "Why don't we count?"

4. 1990: Every French restaurant closes down. Many of the chefs leave the city. The youth is confused and asks them what happened. "Pigs everywhere", they answer without much life speaking through their words. "They are eating some of us. E A T I N G! They smell us and we smell them. We were never as disgusted as we are now in our whole life. To top it off some of the dead were actually alright people."

5. 1986: The expectations for that year aren't that high, but luckily expectations aren't everything. The farmers still haven't left that city. At this point the youth tries hard to ignore what is happening. One can regularly see the farmer crashing hard with the chefs, the restaurant owners, the supermarket owner, and everything that looks or smells like someone that could be related to food. The animals can't keep up with their owners. Many of them are done with life and rot on the streets. Health inspector judges: Those deaths weren't from exhaustion

6. 1987 the most special day for french cuisine since its founding. Maybe they got it via the pigs? (Why are they still around anyway?) Maybe they got it via eating too many snails? Maybe it is something else? Anyway, a new taste entered the French cuisine: At the start of the year first one then two then many chefs caught some illness. A highly visibly one. All over their skin. Usually one was able to see most of the chefs moving around the restaurant, but they are now firmly hiding in the kitchen. "The master's concentration can't be disrupted at this very moment, sorry" is a common nearly slogan-like answer many garçons tell the happy customer. The taste of the food? Nobody asked the garçons about it.

7. 1988 is an outstanding year, at least if one ignores the summer for a while. Sadly the list can't ignore it: It starts with The Great Baguette Bake Off being in the city. During that famous french show the chefs of city A - who are alive and more than just breathing - do not make a very impressive entrance. According to the audience, judges, and themselves. The ratings on the other hand are outstanding. Understandable, as those farmers have left the city for good and took their pigs with them. Without them around the city is something nice to look at. The first chef is finishing and moves towards the judges. There was something that moves towards both the judges and the chefs: Extremely strong hail. Live television is often better for the audience than for the people in front of the camera or whatever is left of them.

8. 1989 is a year of restoration. The ~~one disaster~~ disasters of the years past are now made to be forgotten. The houses damaged by the hail? Currently, being repaired. The bodies of some of the chefs who were damaged by the hail? Uh, oh, currently somewhere else, I suppose. So far for the first half of the year. Right at the start of fall the farmers and pigs come back like a swarm of locusts. They are all over city A. Every inch is full of those pigs. The people simply can't help it. While they are rebuilding the houses they regularly use pigs to build walls, floors and related. Some of the bodies that the pigs eat are put into the walls too. Maybe getting annihilated by the hail would have been a greater blessing than whatever is currently the future of city A?

9. 1991's days between Christmas and New Year are crazier than expected. After being trapped inside the houses due to Christmas celebrations many of the citizens are finally able to leave their home for a while. Or whatever one wants to call this here: Nothing. Literally, nothing. In the middle of the day there was darkness. Can't see the hand when one holds them before the eyes kind of darkness. The people are in slightly aggressive panic. Crashing into each other, hurting each other and damaging whatever is in their way. Too bad for them that 'whatever is in their way' can damage them back. Putting the pigs in the walls isn't the best idea one can have, especially if a panic breaks out and damages the infrastructure. Where are the farmers? Eating lunch instead of being lunch.

10. 1992's first week aren't for the faint of heart. Now one can even see how many bodies lie around. Many complete bodies and - om nom nom - as many bodies that are more like puzzles. Ah, at least it is mostly older people. Looks like that will change now. I can see now people running out of the buildings that have no pigs build in. "My son!", "my daughter!", I hear, and I can feel it too. All of those people carry dead bodies towards the street. They climb over the other corpses for that. Just like the death of their oldest children is more important than the other dead people and especially the pigs. Many of them fall over the other corpses so that they are hurt too. Happy are those who don't have to clean this mess up.

And that was it! On the 8th day of 1992 I finished this list of the best years of my hometown. My colleagues told me that I should have put the years in reverse order. Seriously, why should I? I lost all my pigs.