Looking up at the Stars

 Looking up at the Stars 

“Get a grip of yourself” Maureen said, pushing him away. There wasn’t room to be nice. This time she wasn’t trying to let him down gently. Some people can’t take ‘no’ for an answer. Paul was one of them.

Nearly two years earlier, Maureen and John had married in a small church in the West of Ireland, with family and a few friends on either side. They were buying a house, that’s where the money was needed. For their honeymoon, they decided to hire a boat and spend a week cruising the Shannon. The summer had been good so far. It was bliss. Away from the crazy life in the city, noise of traffic and pollution, it was like another planet. Green fields and hedges full of birds and butterflies passed in slow motion. The boat swished off reeds on the riverbank. The sounds a harmony. Nature at its best. Even the sky remained tranquil, pale blue with white frothy clouds passing overhead. Sun rise and sun set, each day a treat to behold. John was a good navigator. He managed to manoeuvre the locks at intervals so that the boat could pass through safely. They stopped at small towns along the way, took a walk around and had a meal in a restaurant or pub. Most evenings, under the moon and stars, they wrapped their arms around each other, drank wine and gazed up at the most amazing panoramic view of the galaxy. It felt like they were on the edge of the earth, the only people alive. Maureen and John had never spent that much time together, with no one else around. It felt natural and comfortable. They talked and laughed. John played his guitar most evenings, singing songs they both knew from over the years. It was the perfect.

The following months were filled with work and moving into their new house. Some weekends they went to the local market and found little treasures to decorate the house. They bought a few lamps. One looked well in the lounge and the other was perfect for their own bedroom. Maureen had a good eye for spotting things. She bought a few pictures to hang in the front room. Sometimes she picked up a few just for their frames. She would eventually get some of her photographs enlarged and hang them up in the old frames. Her mother gave her a china tea set which they put into a second-hand glass cabinet they had bought. It was soon filled with glasses and colourful mugs. The house needed a bit of work, but to begin with they did all they could themselves, like painting and buying furniture. In no time it had been transformed into a cosy living space.

The good summer continued into late September. Their back garden was mostly grass but was secluded on either side by mature bushes. It already had an old wooden table and chairs, and a shed at the bottom of the garden. John painted the shed blue, and the table and chairs with the last of the paint. He cut the grass a few times. It was the perfect sanctuary for the last of the summer rays. John’s two sisters called from time to time. They had four children between them, who loved the freedom of the back garden to play around. While the children played together the adults talked and drank tea or coffee under their watchful eyes.

Maureen’s parents were overjoyed when they were told that there was a little one on the way. John had recently been promoted in the bank. Everything was falling into place for them.

There was a quiet time between the end of summer and before the lead up to Christmas. Nothing much happened during those few months.   Maureen and John were glad to leave the city behind them, close their front door and just be together.

Maureen hated shopping, especially now that the shops were getting so busy. She needed something new for Christmas. Whatever she got would do for the Christmas party. Alice offered to go shopping with her, but Maureen decided to go on the spur of the moment, when John said he was working on the Saturday morning. She took the bus into town. It started to rain as she stood at the bus stop. Soon she was on the bus and on her way into the hustle and bustle. As she looked into the shop window of the first of the big stores, she saw a dress that caught her eye immediately. She asked to try on the blue floral midi-dress with the high waist, her size and the next one up. The second one fitted her, with a little to spare. Perfect. She would buy some ribbon which would pull the dress in a bit for the work party. A blue and white crystal necklace caught her eye on the next floor. She bought that too. Maureen hadn’t taken long to do her shopping, but she was already jaded. There was a restaurant on the top floor of the store. She took the lift. Maureen fancied a cheese sandwich and a cup of tea. As she waited for a waitress, Maureen looked around her. People were scattered here and there. It was getting near mid-day so would soon fill up. Then she saw Paul, pulling out a chair for an older woman. ‘That must be his mother’ Maureen thought. She didn’t wait to order. Before he had a chance to see her, Maureen picked up her bags and made a quick exit.

On the bus home, she was annoyed that he had been in the restaurant. He always unsettled her. Then she realised she was getting upset over nothing. She felt like crying for being so stupid. Her mother was right.

“You have to be direct with people. Don’t let them get to you”, she would say. Maureen was more like her father.

In the early afternoon John came home with a pizza for their lunch. She was starving by then. ‘What a nice thought love. Just what I felt like’ she said. 

John had some paperwork to finish. The rest of the afternoon passed quietly. By the time John had put away his laptop, Maureen had set the table and taken a roast chicken out of the oven. The house was warming up and the smell of the roast wafted through the downstairs. When they went into the front room for the evening, Maureen said,

‘There might be something nice on television tonight’. John said,

 ‘I wouldn’t mind watching ‘Match of the Day. Man United are playing’.

As the lights twinkled on the Christmas tree, Maureen decided nothing was going to deflate her good spirits. 

On the night of the Christmas party, Maureen told her husband that she would get a taxi home. She liked the people she worked with, but a night out with the whole team wasn’t her cup of tea. She felt the same every year. Usually she got through it. Sometimes she surprised herself and ended up having a nice time.

After the meal, drinks were ordered, and people gathered in groups. Paul kept hovering, but she didn’t mind as she didn’t have to talk to him. She had gone out with Paul for a few months before she met John. She managed to keep friendly with him. It was a case of having to. A few times he asked her out for a drink ‘as friends’ but she wasn’t interested. ‘Just ignore him’ her friend Alice said, but that was easier said than done.

Maureen hadn’t said anything at work about expecting, except to her friend Alice. She hoped nothing would show for a while. If she could get over the Christmas party, she would be happy. This was her first Christmas in a new house with a new husband. Life couldn’t get better. Sometimes, if John had to work late, she relaxed on the sofa, feet up on a small stool, thinking of the year ahead. She wondered what changes would come with a baby in the house. It would be wonderful of course, but it would change their life. John was a good husband. He would be an even better father. She loved the way he took control of things, never second guessing. Maureen could ponder over things for ages, but he never pushed her to make a decision. He seemed to understand her. She could hear her mother saying, ‘he has the patience of a saint that man!’ Maureen was used to her mother’s ‘come on, make up your mind’. Maureen could picture her mother now, but at the end of it all, her heart was in the right place. Maureen didn’t always feel that way about her mother. ‘It’s funny how differently we see things as we get a bit older’ she thought. Maybe it’s to do with having a baby. Soon she would be the mother.

The Christmas party was getting into full swing after the dinner things were cleared away. Tables were moved to the side to make way for a small dancing area. Alice, Joan and Maureen got a table in the corner. They were happy to sit back and watch what was going on. There was a younger crowd of girls already up on the floor. Voices filled the room, along with the music from the DJ. Maureen tapped her foot as she glanced around. Her boss, a man in his sixties, tall and as thin as a rod, approached their table.

‘All right for drinks girls? What’s wrong with you?’ he asked Maureen, when he saw a bottle of Club Orange in front of her.

‘I’m driving’ she told him. 

Alice looked across the table and winked. Maureen could hardly believe she had lied so easily. She looked at her watch a few times. As the evening wore on, Alice was asked up to dance, and then Joan. Maureen looked at her watch again. Then he appeared, sitting down beside her. 

‘What are you doing sitting on your own gorgeous’ he said. 

She didn’t answer him. 

‘What are you having?’

‘Actually,’ she said, ‘I’m leaving soon. John is meeting me outside.’

 ‘Oh, doesn’t trust you on your own’ he said with a smirk.

Maureen felt like getting up and walking away from him. She didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye to Alice. When she looked onto the dance floor, she caught Alice’s eye. She mouthed ‘I’m going home’. Alice put her head to one side ‘what?’ Then she noticed who was sitting beside her friend. She excused herself and walked back to the table.

‘I’m going down to reception and calling a taxi’ Maureen told Alice.

‘Do you want me to come with you’?

‘No of course not. I’m fine.’

Paul was still sitting there but couldn’t quite make out what the girls were saying. Maureen took her coat from the back of the chair and picked up her bag. 

‘Have to go’ she said to Paul. 

‘Alice, I’ll ring you tomorrow’.

With that, she made her way towards the door, and down the stairs.

In the foyer, she asked the receptionist to phone for a taxi. ‘Dalkey’ she said and sat on the nearest couch. In case he followed her down, she decided to go outside, and wait on the balcony. She could see the cars coming and going from there. She buttoned her coat up to the collar, put her hands in her pocket. There was a breeze cutting across the balcony, but she didn’t want to go back inside. She watched every car, praying the taxi would come soon.  

‘I can give you a lift’

Maureen jumped. Paul was standing there. She felt like telling him to take a run and jump but held her temper. 

‘What are you doing here?’ she said.

‘Don’t be like that Maureen’ he said, taking a step towards her.

 She made a move to get past him and go back into reception. He grabbed her arms. She stiffened. 

‘Look Paul’ she said. ‘I’m tired. I’m going home. John will be here in a minute.’ 

She was shaking. It was getting colder. He tried to put his arms around her. 

‘Get a grip of yourself,’ she said, her voice sounded different. He had a strange smile on his face. As he lunged towards her, she stepped out of the way. He fell forward, towards the railings, and then he was gone.

As she waited with a few members of the hotel staff, a crowd started to gather. She could hear a siren in the distance. There was blood coming out of the side of his head. His eyes were open, as though he was looking up at the stars. Then Maureen saw the ambulance pulling in off the road, and behind it, the blue lights of a police car. She shivered and her legs started to give way. Someone caught her as she fell. That was all she remembered that night.

2,180 words