Just What I Wanted

TW:// Mention of Suicide

And we fell in love, got married, and lived a perfect life.

I finally got what I wanted.

To say goodbye to her one last time.

I kiss him, such a perfect bride.

He takes his hand in mine.

I wed the one I love.

He's practically beaming, and so am I.

I walk down the aisle, my father on my arm.

And his heartbroken face can't say no.

I give one week before I propose.

To seal a life, which I've always wanted.

I prepare my final plan.

At the lowest in his life is when I target.

I acknowledge that I couldn't ever fill that role.

For she was his best friend, his "whole reason of purpose."

I mourned right beside him.

Of course, news spread fast.

I take him on a date, the calm before the storm.

Nothing can distract him anymore.

I have him completely to myself.

She's gone from him.

I take my consoling words and walk with a new change of pace.

"No, it's what makes me human."

I smile,

Maybe a twinge of guilt would make the situation better.

I take a step back, so happy with myself.

Gone, and had taken her own life.

I had no surprise when she was gone.

Crawling through her window, wishing her away from sight.

I whisper in her ear every single night.

Anything.

I would do anything to win him back.

He nods, oblivious to the fact.

I convince him it's wise, that we shouldn't say goodbye.

Just one more, to prove that there's something there.

I take his hands in mine and ask for one more week.

Making me seem like the bad guy.

I know her ways of manipulation.

She forced him into it.

I know him better.

He doesn't have thoughts like this.

I don't think this is his doing.

"A breakup?"

I am heartbroken to hear his words.

When he pulls me aside at our party.

I am glad to see she stayed away.

Looking for her?

I notice his eyes scour the crowd.

It's nice to get what you want after all.

I smile wide, letting the cameras flash.

Now we stand hand in hand at our graduation.

I made sure she'd never mess with me.

She doesn't say a peep.

I never catch them together.

It calms the storm inside of me.

I hear her quiet sniffles in the back of the class.

"Come towards my boy, and your life will be hell."

I leave her crying, this threat placed in her palm.

And chopped her hair, as I've done before.

I ruin the dress that she loved so.

Pinned, with nowhere to go...

I stuff her dress in the locker.

Grab her, make her regret it all.

I smile and slam her across the wall.

We walk off just past the hallway.

I catch her at the dance, a pair of scissors in hand.

Wishing she would go away just as easily.

I delete every last one.

All the pictures have a fragment of her.

I don't recall us being friends.

He proposes we all go together.

I know it's my time to shine.

Senior Prom.

I smile in the fact that I can scare someone.

And she runs off.

I kiss him, knowing it's something she'll never be able to do.

She turns the corner, facing us.

I tell him he's acting crazy, that he needs some sense.

He says he needs a break, a pause in the relationship.

I keep him away from her as best I can.

She doesn't smile much.

I don't think he knows mine.

It's her favorite order.

I don't recall him bringing me coffee.

He brought her coffee this morning.

I like the sound of that.

Ugly and Perfect.

I make sure to sit by her so everyone can see the contrast.

She falls asleep in each class.

I take pleasure in this.

Her hair becomes matted, her eye bags worsen.

I want to chase her out of his life.

The notes get worse, and so does her appearance.

I scribble in bad handwriting,

 "No one likes you."

I send notes every day to her locker.

She won't know what's coming for her.

I catch them talking after school one day.

He says he's tired, he needs the rest.

I ask him out.

She spends more time with him.

I don't let people get between us.

She doesn't suspect me, no one will. 

I make sure I look better, every day.

How can you like someone ugly?

I am angered, she's ugly now.

He looks at her hair, but instead of ridiculing, he comforts her.

I smile, no one could like someone as ugly as her.

Her hair is sheared, on the floor.

I head towards her. as she is sound asleep.

Her house panned out like a map in my head.

I see her head to bed, and I creep through her back door.

They're laughing.

I sneak through the backyard.

She gets on a call with him.

I follow her to her house.

She walks home one day.

I didn't think it was funny.

He laughed at her joke today.

I know he is doing it just to spite me.

He continues to talk with her, now complimenting her hair.

I am hurt by his actions.

He talked to the girl.

I notice her long wavy hair and smile

A new girl arrives in the class.

I walk to class one day, holding his hand.

Without him, I'm dead inside.

I am not a person without him.

When he's gone, my stomach hurts, and I'm empty inside.

I love everything about him.

We spend every day together.

I need to be with him.

Relationships are great, especially with a boyfriend like him.

I became his girlfriend.

But not too soon later.

I enjoy the moment of our sweet first kiss.

A brush on the arm, a playful flit of the hair.

I am used to awkward encounters.

The date was nice, he complimented my laugh and held my hand.

I went on a date.

And as most conversations go, it went well.

I talked to him.

A boy with soft, gray eyes and too much personality.