59 likes 80 comments

Fiction Mystery Thriller

I met Ethan on a cold, rainy evening in a dimly lit bar-a tall, brooding man whose eyes hinted at untold stories. His presence was magnetic-an irresistible gravity that pulled me in before I could second-guess my instincts. I had only intended to explore my new neighborhood, maybe nurse a glass of wine before heading home, but the moment our eyes met, something shifted. It was as though fate had tethered us together, bound by an invisible thread of inevitability.

We talked for hours. His voice was rich, his laughter rare but intoxicating. He asked about my life, my dreams, my fears, and each time I answered, he looked at me as if my words held the key to something he had long been searching for. It felt like love at first sight-a dangerous delusion, but one I was willing to entertain.

The next day, I started my new job at Ravenwood Psychiatric Institute. My excitement curdled into dread when I saw Ethan standing at the entrance, dressed in a crisp white coat, speaking with authority to a group of interns. My pulse thundered in my ears. Ethan wasn't just anyone-he was my boss. And worse, he was married.

I tried to avoid him, to bury the spark before it could ignite, but Ethan made it impossible. His glances lingered, his touches were accidental yet deliberate. The restraint between us was paper-thin, and it wasn't long before we tore through it. Late-night rendezvous became our escape. Every whispered promise, every stolen moment, deepened my obsession with him.

"She's kind but fragile," he told me one night, his voice thick with something I mistook for regret. "Lillian has always been... delicate. Heavily medicated, lost in her own world. I can't leave her, not without breaking her completely."

I told myself I was different. That I could be the one to save him from the prison of his marriage. That love could justify anything. But something about Ethan unsettled me. His knowledge of the human mind extended far beyond the ordinary. His office wasn't just filled with paperwork and patient files-it was cluttered with medical textbooks, neurological studies, and obscure journals on cognitive manipulation.

Then, one afternoon, Lillian walked into the clinic. She was warm, easy to talk to, and genuinely kind-so different from what Ethan had described. Lonely and new in town, I welcomed her friendship. After all, I was her husband's personal assistant. We went to the gym together, joined women's groups, and she introduced me to her circle of friends.

She did have moments-episodes, almost-where she'd completely zone out. But I never questioned it. Ethan had told me she wasn't always okay. She was fragile. I never wanted to raise suspicions about my relationship with him, so I played along.

Eventually, I made the hardest decision of my life: I quit my job, cutting off both Ethan and Lillian.

One afternoon, while sorting through my laundry, I found something she had given me-a small piece of paper with a note scrawled across it: "Read this. It will help you understand but find me if it will be difficult."

Curiosity and guilt pushed me to see her one last time. When I arrived, she greeted me with a soft smile.

"I was wondering when you'd come," she said.

I confessed my affair with Ethan, expecting anger. But she only nodded. "I've known about his infidelities for years," she admitted. "That's why I take all these medications. If I confront him, he increases the dosage to make me sound crazy."

Despite everything, she still valued our friendship.

"You're the first real friend I've ever had," she whispered.

As a form of reconciliation, she asked me to try one of her spiritual exercises. "To connect," she said. "To understand each other beyond this world."

The room dimmed as we sat on the floor, knees touching.

"Close your eyes," she instructed. "Breathe deeply. Feel your spirit loosen."

At first, it was nothing. A moment of quiet. Then-I felt it. A strange pull, like something was unraveling inside me. My heart pounded. Dizziness washed over me.

I opened my eyes-

And screamed.

I wasn't in my body anymore. I was in hers.

Lillian had taken my body, slipping into my life with practiced ease. She moved with confidence, mimicking my gestures, my habits, my very essence as if she had been born into my skin.

"You'll need these," she said, pointing at the medication on the table, her voice eerily calm. "You're not well."

She dialed a number and whispered, "It's time."

Ethan entered, his gaze sweeping over me with something close to pity.

"She's having another episode," Lillian-in my body-said.

He sighed, shaking his head slowly. "I'm sorry, Lillian," he murmured.

A few hours later, I woke up chained in an experimental room. Ethan stood over me in his white coat.

I begged him to believe me.

He only smiled as he placed divorce papers in front of me.

I didn't even know Lillian's signature, yet somehow, the papers were signed, and the process was completed.

I felt a sharp sting as the syringe pierced my arm. As the sedative seeped in, Ethan whispered the last thing I would hear before darkness took me:

"You never really knew me, did you?"

The last thing I saw before the world faded was his smile and the signed divorce papers.

Five years later, Lillian-wearing my body-came to visit me.

"You were just unlucky," she said with a smirk. "You see, I'm a doctor too. Ethan and I have been running these experiments for years. Swapping identities. Testing human consciousness. It's all medical research, really. You were just... a fascinating subject."

"You ruined my life," I whispered.

She laughed softly. "Oh, sweetheart," she murmured. "I didn't ruin it. I just... took it."

She turned to leave. "Take your meds. They help with the delusions."

I watched her go, my own face disappearing down the sterile hallway.

No one would ever believe me.

So now, I write.

It's the only thing they allow me, the only proof I can leave behind. Maybe someone will read my words and finally understand. Maybe someone will warn the next victim.

All this because of desire for a married man.

Men will leave you in the desert without water.

Poor next victim!

Posted Feb 22, 2025
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59 likes 80 comments

Seleyian Leison
06:45 Mar 04, 2025

It was a rather thrilling read. The plot twist was entirely new. It reminded me of the series behind her eyes to a point.

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Waeni S
06:47 Mar 04, 2025

Thrilled that you found it thrilling! I wanted the twist to feel fresh—glad it worked!

Reply

Valeria Kerubo
03:48 Mar 04, 2025

I loved the psychological thriller element it had me hooked from the start. It reminds me of Freida McFadden, my favorite author. I won't lie, you completely got me with that plot twist. I thought it was heading toward some cliché love story, but wow, it was so much more. Overall, it was an amazing read.

Reply

Waeni S
05:07 Mar 04, 2025

Wow, thank you so much! That means a lot, especially coming from someone who loves Freida McFadden. I’m so glad the plot twist got you! I really wanted to break away from the usual love story tropes and surprise the reader. Your words truly made my day!

Reply

Ron Hollands
21:08 Mar 03, 2025

Incredible , gripping - high quality I couldn’t let it go!

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Waeni S
21:21 Mar 03, 2025

Thank you I really appreciate your support🙏🏾

Reply

21:06 Mar 03, 2025

This story is incredibly gripping, blending psychological horror with elements of betrayal and identity theft in a way that feels both chilling and tragically plausible. One of its greatest strengths is how it builds tension—starting with an innocent act of trust, only to unravel into a nightmare of manipulation and deception. The protagonist's slow realization of their fate is executed masterfully, creating a sense of helplessness that lingers long after reading.

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Waeni S
21:23 Mar 03, 2025

Thank you, Giovanni! I’m really glad you found it gripping—though I seriously hope this never happens in real life! 😂 Your detailed feedback means a lot!

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Cedar Barkwood
13:31 Mar 03, 2025

I loved the turn the story took. Wonderfully written, I really enjoyed it. Welcome to Reedsy and thank you for sharing this story!

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Waeni S
13:47 Mar 03, 2025

Grateful doesn’t even begin to cover it—thank you for all the love and support, Cedar. I truly appreciate you!

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Ken Cartisano
22:40 Mar 02, 2025

Your writing is excellent. I really enjoyed this story and the way you wrote it. Great description of the chemistry and mechanics of seduction. In certain ways, it is very much like an invisible and inevitable force.

I have three (3) suggestions that are straightforward and would improve this story. Someone already mentioned number 1. If this were my story, I'd be pretty proud of it, but I would do the following:

1. When using a dash between words, use the m dash. It's the longer of the dashes. I just hit the dash key twice and it gets changed to a longer dash. Or, simply leave a space before and after the dash. You have to figure out how your software works and change a setting. It took me several abandoned attempts until I finally figured out how to make Word do this.

2. 'his touches were accidental but deliberate.' Accidental is the opposite of deliberate, therefore you need to change the word 'accidental.' His touches were subtle, but deliberate. As soon as I read that I thought, 'that's impossible.'

3. Delete the last three sentences. They're your favorite lines, right? Get rid of them, they suck. Don't sum up your stories at the end.

This is the end of your story right here:

So now I write. It's the only thing they allow me, the only proof I can leave behind. Maybe someone will read my words and finally understand. Maybe someone will warn the next victim.

It's the story's last paragraph. I like how you separated 'So now I write.' I would do that too, for emphasis. 'It's the only thing they allow me...' That's good too. Even the sentence with 'the only proof I have'. Not really accurate, but as soon as I read it I knew what you meant. I think it's just the last two sentences.

She wants someone to 'believe her'. and Instead of 'maybe someone will warn' it should be 'Maybe my words will serve as a warning to others.' You almost slipped out of first person P.O.V. in admittedly, what I think, should be your last two sentences.

That's it. There ain't another thing wrong with this story. It has no typos, none that I could find. (Except for the hyphen-thing, but that's not a typo.)

I noticed that you immediately followed about a hundred and twenty five people. Myself included. I don't know how long you've been writing, but this is a good first post. It's first-person, fast-paced, intriguing, and very well written until the last few paragraphs. In fact, there are a lot of great lines in this story that deserve mention:

I met Ethan on a cold, rainy evening in a dimly lit bar - a tall, brooding man whose eyes hinted at untold stories. (That is one hell of an opening sentence.')

The more I think about this story the more impressed I am. I hope you find my advice useful. I usually try to take my own advice as well, but I (as you can see) don't always succumb to my more noble instincts. I'll follow you though. I'm intrigued enough to see what you got.

Reply

Waeni S
00:02 Mar 03, 2025

I appreciate the feedback so much! This is my first submission, and I’m determined to keep learning for my future growth. Your honesty means a lot. I’ll keep pushing forward!

Reply

James Scott
20:27 Mar 02, 2025

Loved the twist in this! Reminds me of the movie ‘get out’. Written well and engaging from the start, I was hooked. Great work.

Reply

Waeni S
00:06 Mar 03, 2025

Thank you so much! I’m glad you enjoyed the twist. Get Out is an incredible film, but the real inspiration came from Behind Her Eyes—definitely give it a watch! I loved the concept and wanted to put it into words. That comparison means a lot! I truly appreciate you taking the time to read and share your thoughts.

Reply

Mary Bendickson
17:34 Mar 02, 2025

The old flip a-roo, steal my body and life ruse! Really good!
Welcome to Reedsy.
Thanks for following.
Thanks for liking 'Fred Gorges On'.

Reply

Waeni S
00:11 Mar 03, 2025

Thank you so much! Your stories are truly inspiring as well. I’m excited to be part of Reedsy and eager to soak up as much knowledge as I can!

Reply

Mary Bendickson
01:40 Mar 03, 2025

Thanks for reading and liking so may of my stories

Reply

KA James
16:47 Mar 02, 2025

Not where I was expecting this to go. I'll admit, I was not that enthused when it was just the 'married man cheating on mentally challenged wife' story, but when you turned it more sci-fi, I thought it worked great. Really interesting idea and good execution. Looking forward to future stories.

For what its worth, a small suggestion on format. Using a hyphen for a break in your sentences threw me a couple times. I thought it was a hyphenated word. I was trying to figure out what a 'bar-a tall' was the first time I read the opening sentence.

Reply

Waeni S
00:14 Mar 03, 2025

I appreciate that James 🙏🏾! As a first timer, your feedback means the world to me.

Reply

Salim Salim
12:09 Mar 01, 2025

Wowwww!!!!!!!What an ending might it be possible astrol projection exists?

Reply

Waeni S
12:11 Mar 01, 2025

The world is full of many things haha

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Salim Salim
13:41 Mar 05, 2025

Its a beautiful story !

Reply

Waeni S
13:42 Mar 05, 2025

Thank you!

Reply

Susie Pea
14:42 Mar 12, 2025

That was fun! Well done Waeni S.

Reply

Waeni S
16:27 Mar 12, 2025

Thank you 🙏🏾

Reply

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