A Perfect Birthday Party

           It was the largest family get-together than many of the people there had ever experienced. It was all to plan the ‘perfect’ birthday party for Dave. He was the oldest member of the family, and the party they were planning was for his 90^th birthday.

           The suggestions started quite slowly, but soon started to build up to quite an event. The first idea came from ‘flashy Fred’ as everyone knew him, Dave’s oldest grandson. He was always the one wearing the fanciest clothes at any occasion he attended. He even over-dressed for his work as a realtor. He sometimes made his clients feel like the cost of the house he was pitching would be way over their budget.

           “You know Dave probably wants to have at least one more occasion in which he can dress up. He hasn’t had such an opportunity to do so since his wife, my grandmother died. This will give him a chance to adorn himself with his best ‘bib and tucker.’ Everyone there will be impressed for sure.

           There was pretty much a universal approval of flashy Fred’s plan. The one visible exception that no one would have noticed was Don, now 16, the only one of the great grandchildren there. He shook his head at the suggestion and at the positive response it garnered. Don believed that no one would listen to him, so he didn’t speak up.

           The next one with an idea was Shirelle, another grandchild. She was a fancy food freak, following the latest trends. She was the first in the family to have avocado toast, and would currently have nothing else for breakfast, at least until the next fad. And she was a fanatic about how food was presented. For her it had to look good to taste good. She used her ‘best china’ for every meal.

           “I have an idea that will go along perfectly with Fred’s plan. We should take our grandfather to Food Palace the most expensive place in town to eat. In that way, he can dress up, and have fine dining as well. You should see the pictures of their food on their website. Almost everyone brought out their cell phones to look. There was a chorus of oohs and ahs that soon followed. There was general agreement that it would be the ideal place for Dave to celebrate his 90^th birthday. As one graceless family member said, “It would be to die for”, not something to be said at a person’s 90^th birthday party. 

           Another voice chimed out, “And they do wine tasting there; if you call ahead of time. Dave (and of course the rest of us) can sample several of the finest wines. We could too.” Several of the crowd gestured like they were they were sampling the very best vintages at that moment. Just about everyone agreed that this was another needed step in towards the ‘perfect birthday party.’

           Not everyone however felt that way. Don just shook his head again and again, but not to a degree that anyone would notice unless they were staring at him. He knew that his great grandfather was a dedicated beer drinker and felt very uncomfortable with wine tasters and their commentary when trying out each sample they tasted. More than once he heard his great-grandfather mutter under his breath ‘Just drink it. Don’t comment about it. Just drink it for God’s sake.’ 

           ‘Gambling’ George, by many years a younger brother of Dave’s, added another stick to the fire of ideas that were burning brightly in the minds of most of the family members. “After the fabulous dinner, we could go to the casino nearby. It could bring my older brother a kind of excitement that would top off the dressing up, the fancy meal, and the tasting of fine wine. I know that it would for me. Several family members clapped their hands in obvious approval. For them it seemed that it would be a perfect ending to a perfect birthday party. 

           “Okay then”, said Fred. I will make the reservations, book the wine testing and make sure that my brother has his best clothes ironed. I will lend him my most impressive tie. I don’t know whether he even owns a tie. George, you can inform him how to best have fun at a casino.”

           The family crowd then dispersed, each delighted with what had been planned for the old man’s 90^th birthday party. They felt that they had achieved ‘utter perfection’.

Don Visits His Great-Grandfather

           Don was one of the last to leave. He wasn’t happy with what he had just heard and seen. This did not fit well with the great-grandfather that he knew, the one who told him stories not of fancy clothes, expensive foods served as an art form, fine wine nor the ‘excitement’ of gambling. Great grandfather Dave preferred jeans and a t-shirt, hamburgers and fries, a beer, and just relaxing over a quiet game of checkers or chess, or talking about hockey.

           On his way back home, he was walking, as he did not yet own a car, he came to the ‘retirement home’ where his great-grandfather stayed. He had never gone in there by himself, but he felt he had to do so now. 

           The two of them drank coffee in the common room, and Don told the old man what the plans were for his ‘perfect birthday’. Dave laughed, particularly when Don told him who said what, and acted out how it was said with fairly accurate imitations. He replied with ‘This is as predictable as it is horrible. Now what am I going to do?”

           The two discussed the matter for some time. Dave said that he did not want to insult his family by turning down flat the invitation he would soon be receiving, but he also wanted to have some form of celebration that he could actually enjoy. Don thought that the family had already crossed the insult line by not asking his great-grandfather what he would like, but did not say so.

           Then Dave came up with a compromise. “Let’s the two of us have lunch earlier in the day. It’s Saturday, so you won’t be skipping class. We can go to the pub down the road, where we can have beer, a burger and fries, and talk about how the Toronto Maple Leafs are going to disappoint us again this spring. If there is any question about it, I will tell them that you just turned 18. They know me there.  I’ve gone there for decades. We can fortify ourselves there, and prepare to be amused by how our relatives act and what they say at the abomination to follow”.

           “The ‘celebration’ day will illustrate two of my favourite sayings, ‘Perfect is the enemy of good’ and ‘Too many cooks spoil the broth.’ If the family planners had bothered to ask me, there would have only been one cook, and the broth would have been beer. We will indulge in the good first, then face the enemy.”