A bundle of Nerves

At her age, it was absolutely unpardonable. After standing on the stage and facing nearly two hundred eyes boring into her day after day, Kala was not expected to have pre-performance jitters. But she did before every important event she had to preside over and something invariably went wrong. It didn’t help to watch ‘How to Fight your Nerves’ manuals or to listen to narratives of professional performers who confessed to pre-performance anxiety even after having become stars. Kala would begin her day with deep breathing, yoga and meditation following the experts’ advice. She would think positive and tell herself that no one was going to notice if she were to make a small mistake. But she was a bundle of nerves each time she entered a crowded hall. In her anxiety to make sure that everything was in order, she could barely sit still instead of chatting with the other speakers. Kala kept rising from her designated chair in the first row to check if the tea and refreshments had been served to the audience, if the florist had delivered the bouquet of flowers for the Chief Guest and other dignitaries, if the mementos, photographers and the team of volunteers had arrived. Unlike her, all the other members of the team calmly carried out the tasks assigned to them. 

The florist had delivered the flowers in time. The office attendant Rina had covered the table with a crisp white tablecloth, placed a vase of roses at the centre and bottled water by the side of the nameplates of each speaker.  Dressed in a shimmery salwar kameez that she deemed appropriate for the occasion, she was now handing cups to tea to the speakers waiting for the programme to begin with a beaming smile. The photographer was moving about the hall taking candid shots while his partner was positioning the video camera. The volunteers, dressed in their best ethnic outfits, were made to sit in the order they would move by Kala’s assistant Debjani.  Kala heard the chirpy the pleasantly plump Debjani, who was introducing herself to the distinguished speakers and envied her easy grace. But it was the poise with which the radiant young compere Vimi ascended the steps to take up her position made her marvel. She had opted for a fusion outfit in view of the international participants at the event and let her hair loose in soft, gentle waves. All eyes, included the photographer’s camera, were riveted on the slim young woman inviting the speakers to come up the dais with a pleasant smile and a warm, cheerful voice.  The speakers rose, slowly walked up the dais and occupied their preassigned seats. Kala was the last to go up and adjusted herself in the corner seat next to the podium. She scanned the hall and was relieved to find that it was nearly full.

Vimi was calling out the names of volunteers who were not standing in a queue inviting them to present bouquets to a particular guest. Each volunteer walked up the dais from the right, handed over the bouquet, posed for a photograph and walked down the three steps on the left. Debjani, watching the volunteers with an indulgent smile, was now preparing to pass on the mementos. The order of presenting the mementos and the person who will give them to whom had been mutually decided by Debjani and Vimi. Kala noticed, to her dismay, that Debjani had forgotten to taken the mementos out of their boxes. The head of the institution presiding over the function was asked to present a memento to the distinguished guests. He did the honours admirably turning to face the camera each time he handed over a memento. Kala realized that both Debjani had forgotten to get the Chief Guest receive his memento but looked absolutely unfazed. Vimi went on to announce the next item without realizing her mistake and invited the head to introduce the distinguished guest. She had handed him a printed bionote from which he selected relevant bits adding some of his own.

The Chief Guest was a seasoned speaker used to addressing large gatherings. Equally fluent in English, Hindi and the local language, he gave an impassioned speech switching with consummate ease from one to the other liberally interspersed with quotes from the local language. The audience was absolutely mesmerized and clapped after each Urdu verse. Kala listened to him spell bound and began to panic. Her choice of the Chief Guest was perfect. But this was going to be a hard act to follow.  She had requested Vimi to give her the order in which the speakers would be called and call her name when it was her turn. The Chief Guest was thoroughly enjoying himself. Each time he would say he was going to conclude and recite a verse in Urdu, the round of applause got him charged and he went on to another anecdote and narration. Kala checked the time and found that he had gone much beyond his allotted half an hour. This time it was the audience who brought his address to an end by a thunderous applause that drowned his closing statement. Through the sea of faces in front of her she heard Vimi inviting her to introduce the theme of the event. Kala pulled back her chair, adjusted her sari and walked up to the podium. She didn’t realize that she had lost a lot of weight since she wore the particular sari and the neckline of the sari blouse was dangerously sliding down her shoulder. She noticed her friend seated in the second row use head and eye gestures to draw her attention and quickly covered her shoulder with sari aanchal. As always, she had stopped breathing and her mouth had gone dry.  Her voice when it came was a hoarse squeak. She searched the faces of the audience and noticed that they were waiting for her to take charge. After the first thirty seconds when she was supposed to grab their attention her voice settled in her normal tone and pith. She had rehearsed the lines but couldn’t forget the exact words. She began to improvise on the spot and the words began to flow naturally in comparison to the stilted, rehearsed beginning. As she began to explore the theme, her voice reflected the confidence that comes with command over the subject and she began to relax. Ten minutes into the Introduction she was in her element and was also making eye contact, smiling and gesturing naturally. This is when she noticed Vimi signaling to her that the te had arrived. Due to the Chef Guest overshooting his time, they were running half an hour late. In her anxiety to keep time, Kala quickly concluded an announced that it was time for a tea break. Fortunately, one of the distinguished invitees prompted her to invite the keynote speaker who had been waiting patiently to begin his address. Turning red with embarrassment and throwing a grateful smile in the prompter’s direction, she gathered herself and announced, "Tea will be served outside after the keynote address" and returned to her chair with a deep sigh.