New Years Eve Revelation

“This should help,” He said with genuine concern echoing in his voice as he passed the ice pack to me. I simply nodded and grabbed the ice pack as I quivered with anger bottled up from all the times he had made an effort to hurt everyone around him's feelings with his words and actions. “I'm sorry,” He said staring at the bruised bump on my forehead he was responsible for but I didn’t respond because I knew the rage fueling inside me would explode like a volcano releasing nothing but deadly toxins and chemicals I would regret saying because unlike him I actually had a strong sense of empathy. “If I saw you coming I wouldn’t have opened the fridge….gently. I'm really sorry" “who opens a fridge that hard? Okay let’s say you didn’t actually see me but didn’t you at least hear me walk in the kitchen,” I thought to myself trying my very best not to vocalize my thoughts. There was a moment of silence that I would’ve usually found awkward, but actually found soothing although his breathing was kind of triggering me as well. The silence made me wonder. Why didn’t he storm off to his bedroom like he usually did when he had a confrontation with the other housemates. Was it because this time the pain he inflicted was visible for everyone to see compared to the emotional hurt he usually inflicted or was he genuinely sorry? I had heard him apologize before but his apology to me sounded genuine compared to his usual apologies that had a hint of sarcasm that no one could miss or maybe he was being sarcastic and the fridge knocked me out of my senses. “So…you’re not celebrating new years eve?” He asked trying to clear up the tension that filled the air like smog, suffocating and visible. I looked at him with my teeth clenched and my jawline tensed as I nodded. Could he not tell how angry I was or was he waiting for my anger to erupt? “Me neither. I think its overrated and not different from any other day you know?” he was doing a terrible job clearing up the tension. “Do you celebrate back home in your country?” he asked, which to me sounded like a dumb question. I looked at him with my eyebrow raised trying to show him how uninterested I was with his small talk. “No we don’t celebrate New years eve back home in my country calendars don’t exist there and I first heard of new years eve when I came out here to study, you know? ” I finally responded with sarcasm oozing from my tone and my not so genuine smile. “I’m guessing your country doesn’t celebrate New years eve either since you are not celebrating or maybe you’re…” “Ding!Dong" the doorbell rang rudely interrupting me. “Saved by the bell,” he said as he left the kitchen. I rolled my eyes and took a deep breath mixed with relief and annoyance. “Would you like some?” he asked as he walked in with three large pizza. “No. I should be heading to bed,” “why?” he asked. “Well I’m tired and not planning to be knocked out again,” “I’m not going to knock you out again. I promise” he laughed as he placed the pizza boxes on the kitchen counter and folding his arms “I mean why didn’t you go and celebrate New years eve with everyone else tonight?” “I have an early morning shift tomorrow couldn’t risk getting hung over" I said standing up so I could go to bed and not continue with this forced conversation. As I was about to walk out of the kitchen he said “fair enough. Very responsible if you’d ask me…don’t you want to know why I don’t celebrate it" “You already told me its overrated and like any other day. So I know," I said “Yes but there’s more" “Okay…” “New years eve reminds me how much closer I am to my grave you know,” “Really? I feel enlightened,” I said sarcastically “And that’s a fact we all try to ignore" “Or maybe we are just happy we made through the year, ever thought of that?” He opened one of the pizza boxes and took a deep breath to inhale the scent of the pizza “Well yes, but I’m not done the reason why I don’t celebrate new years eve. It’s a long story. Why don’t you come, sit and have a couple slices?” he said waving his hand toward the pizza “And then I can tell you the reason,” I was tired and really needed to rest enough for my shift but I was kind of curious and my curiosity was stronger than my hunger for sleep. Maybe I would finally know what froze his heart and left him emotionless so I grabbed a slice and hesitantly sat down to prepare myself for his reason I at first didn’t care about but now wanted to know. “Okay let’s see where do I start… oh yes! My little long story started a few years ago when I was still back home, in my mother country,” He paused to make sure his only audience was paying attention and I was I didn’t want to miss a single detail. I didn’t know where his mother land was which I usually would want to know about first but I wasn’t prioritizing it. “I met a girl. Her name was Eleanor. She was beautiful inside and out, so I thought. She seemed perfect to me and I vowed to myself I would marry her and die only in her arms. I had never loved anyone the way I loved her. The love I had for her overwhelmed me. I was addicted to her presence, she was a poison that tasted sweet and safe yet it wasn’t what it seemed. We were inseparable everyone said we would be the death of each other. Young love huh,” he paused again to make sure I didn’t zone out or dose off. “Eleanor... she charmed anyone she met. She charmed my parents who are one of the most difficult people to charm not even I have figured out a way to charm them or make them proud. I was never good enough to them until Eleanor walked into my life I became relevant to my parents. Which is what I craved the most through my childhood. I…” I coughed interrupting him because I had been so focused on the story I forgot about swallowing the pizza I stuffed in my mouth. “Ignore that. Go on with your tale,” I said clearing my throat and wiping my teary eyes from the chocking I had gone through. “It's not a tale,” he sounded slightly offended. “Where was I?” he asked himself “you were on the part on the part where Eleanor added relevance to you,” “At least you’re paying attention. So yeah, I decided to propose to her and she said yes. She gave me an engagement ring as well, so everyone could know I’m about to be a husband” He said showing me his wedding band on his wedding finger. “We started to plan our wedding. We were excited like any couple would be. We knew it would be stressful but we had each other and that’s all that mattered. My parents were not all in for the marriage they both thought it was too early for us, her parents thought the same. We didn’t care we continued planning our dream wedding, well her dream wedding I’m not a fan of big celebrations.” He paused and looked at his watch “its 22:00. I could finish off my ‘tale’ for you tomorrow. You need rest for your shift tomorrow,” I had actually forgotten about that but I wasn’t sleepy anymore and I was actually intrigued by his story. He was actually capable of love and was married. He must've missed home and his sweet Eleanor which made him cranky to everyone else. “Or you could finish of your story because you’ve already started it,” I said reaching out for my fifth slice of pizza I had declined earlier. “Okay then. So as we planned were so excited but as our wedding day drew closer Eleanor started to act weird and distant. My mom despised her and often tried to convince me not to marry her when I told her how distant Eleanor had become. My mother would always say that Eleanor didn’t deserve me and that was the last thing my confused feeble mind needed to hear. I became used to how distant she had become and it didn’t bother me anymore. We were still together and that’s all that mattered. Her father often gave me advice on marriage of how sacred the union was and how hard and serious it was. He also thought I deserved better than Eleanor but I didn’t think there was anyone better than her. I felt it was actually her who deserved better and I was lucky she gave me a chance,” He paused again but this time not to make sure I was attentive. He simply looked out the window and sighed. “When I got a job opportunity here. I was excited two great things were going happen. I was going to marry the love of my life and work abroad to fend for her and our future children without my parents assistance. She was thrilled as well but still distant. The wedding planning became stressful because we wanted to be married before we moved here. One day as we relaxed in our apartment I ironically found an article in one of the local magazines with the title ‘Things to know about your partner before marriage' so I read all the things listed and we agreed to them all. When I read the last one ‘Do they actually want to get married to you as much as you do’ I said yes and she remained silent. She looked into my eyes with her eyes tearing up. I was confused and scared. I had never seen her like this and didn’t know she wasn’t excited about the wedding. I asked her what was wrong and she said she couldn’t marry me. I asked why and she said she was pregnant. Despite knowing the answer to the question I still asked if it was mine. She said no it was her ex boyfriend before me, Benjamin. The very same ex boyfriend that broke her heart and went on to marry her sister whose’ wedding we had attended together. I told her I didn’t care and that I’d take care of the child as my own And she said…” He paused again to prepare himself to finish of his story and the suspense was killing me but I didn’t want to rush him because he was clearly still hurting from his memories. “She said she still loved him. Actually loved him more than me. I couldn’t handle this so I moved out and moved back into my parents house as her ex moved into our apartment. For the first time in my life I was broken, numb and dead inside but my parents were actually there to pick the pieces up and help me find myself again. Eleanor’s sister came over and she helped a lot she knew exactly what I was going through because we were in the same boat. It took a while but I managed to get myself back on track and prepare for my departure to Canada. On new years eve my parents also hosted a farewell party for me. All my family and friends were there even Eleanor’s family but she wasn’t. As we were approaching the new year I remembered I had some stuff I left at our old apartment. I had an excuse to see Eleanor one more time before I left the country so I could say goodbye. When I rang the doorbell I anxiously waited I hadn’t seen her since I had moved out. She opened the door and when she saw me she looked like she wanted to cry for help but when I asked if she was okay she claimed she was okay. Benjamin wasn’t home and I assumed he probably went out with the baby. I asked how the baby was. She started to cry and told me how she had a miscarriage and how Benjamin had left her once again for our Neighbors babysitter. She apologized and tried to mend things but I didn’t want to go through another rollercoaster that would mess with my emotions and mental health. The new year was approaching and I needed a new start to my life. She left me for Ben effortlessly once what if Ben was to come back later on in our lives again. I said my goodbye and went down the fleet of stairs. When I got to the last floor I saw people crowding in the street and assumed it was some new year eve performance or count down thing going,” He swallowed his saliva and took a deep breath “I put my stuff in the car and decided to join the crowd. When I got closer I realized it wasn’t a celebratory crowd but a crowd panicking and scared. I brushed through the crowd to see what was the spectacle that brought them together. To my shock it was Eleanor, she had jumped from the apartment and was barely alive. I dashed and held her bloody lifeless body to my check and wailed, I had never cried that hard in my life. I felt responsible for it. If I agreed to give her a chance she would still be here. I said goodbye to her forever and she died in my arms. That’s why I don’t celebrate new years eve or new year. It reminds me of a death I could have avoided if I had forgiven and how I was the death of her. She needed me and I left. The End,” fireworks started shooting in the sky and the neighbors yelled and screamed happy new year. I just sat looking at him and started regretting the times I thought he was selfish and cold, he was just broken. “you should be heading to bed now. Happy new year" He said taking the empty Pizza boxes to the laundry room. “Happy new year to you too,” I went to my room and didn’t sleep I spent the whole night replaying his story, his New Years Eve Reveletion.