Akita Fugu

”I’m almost impressed. No one gets a table at Akita.”

”I get tables at Akita. I own the place.”

”You own Akita Lounge? When the hell did that happen?"

”Spare change."

”I still don’t understand what we’re doing here."

”You’re my brother. It’s your birthday. You like Japanese food."

”Geez, it’s my birthday today? You serious?"

”Shut up …"

”Seriously, I had totally forgotten. What am I now - one hundred, one hundred and twenty? What is life, what is reality …?"

”I said, shut up."

”So what do you need?"

”What do I need?"

"Is it money?"

"Absolutely not."

”Are you trying to get back on the board, is that it?"

”Why, you miss me?"

”Come on, now. Not even I care about my own birthday. Why do you, all of a sudden?"

”Today marks ten years since Dad died."

”Oh. So we’re celebrating?"

”Or starting fresh."

”It’s too late for that, sister. Here’s our waitress … Hi, good evening. What’s your name, sweetheart?”

”Lola, sir.”

”Are you aware that one of your owners is at this very table tonight?”

”Stop it, Kevin.”

”If you’re twice as quick as you were with our drinks, I’ll tip you 200.”

”We’ll take two fugu, thank you.”

”Coming right up, miss.”

”She’s a hoot, isn't she?”

”I saw what you did. She winced.”

”Fugu is poisonous. Does that mean I get your share of Akita when you die?”

”I never knew sabotaging companies was a hobby of yours.”

”Only when they don’t belong to me.”

”Funny. I figured it was just incompetence.”

”So, how much of Akita is actually yours?”

”Mind your business.”

”Tell me who you’re banging. Is it one of the chefs? The guy with the funny name, Hattori Hanzo, is it him? Like the swordsman from that movie."

”Kill Bill.”

”No, wait … you’re with the bouncer! Damn, Gwen, you are filthy. Just like me."

”No shit, considering the liberties you take with the waitresses.”

”Our death fish is here.”

”Good evening! I have two fugu here. And, sir, if I may - it is an honor to serve you this evening. One of your treatments helped cure my daughter’s diabetes.”

”How great. What’s your surname? I might remember you."

”Excuse me, waiter, can I get some more champagne?”

”Right away, miss … Oh, I doubt you’ll remember with all the people you help. The name is Ishii."

”No no, give me a minute … Prepubescent, right? Pretty chubby. Just had her period, no? Man, I gotta tell ya, she was a real challenge. Stubborn as hell! I had to press her down on the bed, and it was all sticky too. Crying out for her mommy the whole time. But, of course I’m always inclined to help, Mr. Ishii."

”... Enjoy your meal, sir.”

”Thanks a lot. What’s wrong, Gwen - you jelly?

”Kevin, that was disgusting.”

”I save lives for a living. It’s not pretty, for the most part."

”How does it feel?”

”Fucking splendid. Or, what are you referring to?”

”To be praised.”

”The praise is just a humble reminder.”

”A reminder of what?”

”That I’m just a man with a ten-digit net worth. Why?”

”Just curious. You’ll want to hold onto that feeling while it lasts.”

”Why wouldn’t it? I’m waterproof.”

”Sure. Unless you have any other covert operations going on.”

”If you’ll excuse me, sister dear, I’m going to the little boy's room.”

… 

”There we are, I’m starving. Wanna eat? I asked Hattori to puncture the liver of your pufferfish.”

”And I poisoned your sake. Cheers.”

”Regarding my so-called ’covert operations’, I’m not an idiot. You think I have time to coo with every obese child I take in?”

”What, like the trachea girl?”

”Jesus fucking Christ, was it really that hard on you? I might lend you some money just for therapy. Or a lobotomy.”

”You’re just saying that because you know you should feel raw about it, but you don’t.”

”There will always be victims of science. You knew that going into the business.”

”She was ill! Admit that you knew it would backfire.”

”The subject happened to be incompatible. How the hell would I know that?”

”Maybe not testing your shit on sick children would be a good start.”

”Are you actually accusing me of this again? Is this a real discussion?

”She was just a baby. You and your team let her suffer for hours on end before you euthanized her. You put her down, like a dog. She was purple by the time it was over, remember that?”

”Because of that procedure, we could develop the gene into something that’s now implemented in global research.”

”That procedure is a stain on everything that’s good about our jobs.”

”The company has moved past it, and so have I.”

”I’m sure her parents are also past it. Well done, you.”

”You really are just as stupid as Dad told me you were. Hell, I didn’t even believe it until now.”

”HOLY SHIT, KEVIN!”

”What? What’s happening?!”

”Oh my God, your face!”

”What is on my face?”

"Holy crap."

"What is it, Gwen?!"

”It’s … your face. It's boiling.”

”Oh ... yes. That’s a side effect from my gene therapy.”

”Your what?”

”Look at my arm. All these bruises are from test injections. This big one right above my arm fold is the one that we picked.”

”Are you serious?”

”It’s like a Litmus test. My skin reacts like this whenever I’m exposed to poison.”

”We need to get you to the ER, now.”

”What for? It’ll pass in a few hours.”

”Are you kidding me? You’ve been poisoned, idiot!”

”I mean, sure, the fugu tastes like shit but I doubt that Hattori had anything to do with it.”

”Kevin, please shut up about that fucking chef and get moving.”

”Why? I own the restaurant with him.”

”Excuse me?”

”Are you using my own poison against me? My God ... See, this is exactly why Dad chose me as the successor and not you, Gwen. You’re so fucking predictable. ... Why are you so quiet - cat got your tongue?”

”How much? How much of Akita did you buy?!”

”Just enough.”

”You’re fucking sick in the head.”

”That may be, sister dear, but I’m also immortal. Eye for an eye, right? It's a shame I didn't think of it earlier. That little girl might have liked my shade of purple ...”

”You’re a psychopath.”

”Since you took the liberty of tinkering with my food I assume you take the bill … I'll be going now. And hey, we should do this again for Christmas. Try cyanide next time; it makes me green.”