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This is not your average biography. My name is Mikaela, your average office girl, and I am going to tell you about an infamous figure among the thieves, the homeless, the gangsters. They call him 'Santa'. None of them actually know his real identity, not even how he looks like. For all they know, those who stole something from others ended up having the things being stolen returned back to the original owner. The nickname was originally started by the victims who got their things back from this 'Santa'. Eventually, the thieves who found out where the stolen items gone to started calling him that as well.


Some also called Santa as the version two of Aladdin. He is definitely not all-innocent - he is also doing some pick-pocketing himself from the tourists, the commuters, and the riches. Well, at least that's what the homeless people were saying whenever they received some 'gifts' from Santa. Nobody knows if Santa actually kept some of the earnings for himself. Some of them said they saw Santa in action, describing him as a very swiftly-moving figure walking past in-between the crowd of people wearing a trench coat in the early hours of the evening when it just started to get dark.


Here is another important information that you might be interested in. The police are also aware of Santa's existence, especially this one particular officer. One of my distant relatives, Officer Maya, as everyone calls her, would always have the latest report on Santa’s activities. She wouldn’t disclose her sources, as they were from various ‘investigators’. Some thought she had some sort of connection, or relationship, with Santa, just like Peter Parker and Spiderman, but as far her superiors know, they are not the same people. It was proven during one of the weeks where Santa was actively operating around the East London area, whilst Officer Maya had been dispatched to Aberdeen for an assignment for two weeks.


Recently, Officer Maya managed to get her hands on an envelope containing some sort of notes. When they inspected it, it was a letter from Santa himself! He purposely wrote such letter for people to read about his daily routine. It went like this:


Hello there! I don't know who you are but congratulations! You managed to find this exclusive one-of-a-kind letter from yours truly. Of course you don't know who I am, so let me just do a bit of introduction. They call me Santa for some reason, but no, I don't have a beer belly, and I don't like red. I don't own a sleigh, nor do I have any workshop wherever North Pole is. Even if I tell you my real name, people will still call me Santa, so let's just stick to that. I know you've been hearing about me here and there, sharing some blankets with the hobos, and yes, I do feed some information about me to the private investigators just for some extra cash. So here's my side of story, so whoever you are that is reading this letter can spread the word! 

My day usually starts at around 1 o'clock, when people are buzzing about to r lunches. Of course, I am out and about for the food as well. Somehow my hands just barely managed to slip into their pockets and bags to scrap some pennies and coppers, and if I got enough time, some extra fiver or tenner! Depending on how much I make, I would just go to chicken and chip shop for a small meal, but any extra money would either go for my dinner, or a saving for my 'days-off'. Yes, I give myself a day-off or two to escape these busy bees. My next shift would be just past 5, but in-between, I would just stroll around the Oxford Street, or Soho, to see if there's any 'generous' people would let me scuffle through their purses or wallets. The only problem is that they are now using these "contactless cards" which means there's barely any cash that I can 'borrow' from them. 

After dinner, I would start my late shift at about 11, and visit the bars and clubs at different areas just to help out these citizens of the city stop a cab. Why, yes, of course I charge them, it's just that they wouldn't know until they sober up. Depends on which day of the week, my late shift would last either at least one hour, or sometimes overnight! Yes, it is a very long shift! I try to wrap up as quickly as I can, then I would go to any 24-hour shops, normally Tesco, or Asda, just to get some bottles of water, pastries, crisps...basically as much things as I can afford to pay AND carry. Then, I would drop them off to some people without home, hoping that could last them for a day or two. I know, whichever one of them that doesn't spend their money on boozes and scratch cards are definitely on my Nice list. Oh, I forgot to mention. I do get 'bonuses, once in a while from those genuinely kind people, but then I would go to charity shops to buy the cheap clothes for myself and others who need them to survive those cold shivering late shifts at the end of the year. 

But you want to know something? There are times when I don't believe the polices are doing their jobs right. I mean, I myself can see people get robbed and pick-pocketed by those other than me, how come the police are not seeing these? It's not my job to catch these people, because then I would have to turn myself in. You know what I usually do? I would follow them, trying to figure out their motives, and if I think it's bad, then I take the stuff they just stole out from their hands, and return it back to the owner. I mean, I can just re-steal those stuff, not a problem. Living the way I am, I know who would steal with the same intention as I do, and who would steal just to get an extra bottle of wine to party with their pals.

Oh wow! I have never written so much in my life! Now I really hope that someone actually reads this letter. Or maybe I should just sell this off to one of those investigators to get extra money, huh? Mr KK normally would pay me £5 for a bit of info, but something like this would probably get me £50! Finally I can try to eat at Nando's! Well, thanks for reading!


P/S my English ain't that bad, does that give you a clue about my level of knowledge? Hehehe...


-Santa-


Somehow the letter caused a frenzy at the station. Many questions were answered but that didn't make it any better as more new questions are now being asked. "What is his profession?" "He didn't mention of being homeless, so is he?" "His handwriting is not that bad. It looks quite mature. How old is he, I wonder." "Should we start checking the CCTVs from Tescos and Asdas?" "We need more officers on sites around the tourist attractions and Oxford Street!" 


Officer Maya just stared at the letter. She didn't know what to make of it. She wasn't sure what was Santa's real intention. He probably just needed more money. However, since that day, more uniformed officers now roaming around the tourists' spots. CCTVs are being installed wherever possible. The security at the shops and markets are getting tighter. Despite all that, Santa's activities didn't slow down. He didn't send any more letters, and he hasn’t been in touch with the investigators either according to Officer Maya.


“The police are slowly dropping the case. The main reason is that Santa has never been involved in major crimes, according to them. All these security improvements are just to make sure there’s no other Santa, ‘one is enough’ they said. But to be honest with you, Kelly, I don’t think they want to stop Santa, they’re just curious to find out who Santa really is,” Officer Maya told me as we had our usual coffee date on a Sunday morning. “So you’re not gonna get involved anymore then, Maya?” I asked her. “That’s my plan, slowly retreating from the case,” she said, then she stared into the crowd and continued, “but more than anything, I hope Santa would just stop completely and contributes to the society like a normal person, without this ‘Santa’ mask.” Then she turned to face me again. “Kelly, I probably forgot to mention to you about those questions people at the station asked about Santa from the letter. Everyone is asking ‘why is he doing this’, ‘is he actually that’, ‘what if he this’...but there’s one question that caught my attention, and made me wonder why would Santa ‘write’ a letter. I mean, language, handwriting, those things are major clues when it comes to crime investigation, you know.”


But here’s the thing: everyone is calling this figure a ‘he’, not a ‘she’. According to Maya, one of her superiors questioned the team after inspecting Santa’s letter, “The handwriting is quite neat. What if Santa is actually a ‘she’?” I just grinned at Maya as she sipped her latte. I said, “Santa is subtly trying to lead whoever reads the letter into thinking that Santa might not be the exact image of a person as everyone imagined." Maya chuckled and shook her head in disbelief. I know for sure that Santa is a she. Her real name is Mikaela. Yes, I am Santa.

December 06, 2019 22:17

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