A Different Point of View

Me, Bona Fided, Can’t Quite Hear Ray Ray, Dora the Explorer and Man Root are sitting in the wooden bleacher stands, drinking out of a big brown paper bag from a 2 gallon jug of 100 proof moonshine.

Bona Fided who got his name from being sincerely; without intention to deceive and who it is said to be someone who is a mad and insane cartoon watching truth speaker. Incapable of telling a bold face lie and is trusted by all. Even when he personally vouched for that Princess Bubblegum and Marceline the Vampire Queen from Cartoon Network's Adventure Time weren’t really cartoon characters like Humpty Dumpty. He took a lot of Roberta Flack from the 3 and a half of us and still wouldn’t change his opinion or convictions.

Can’t Quite Hear Ray Ray. This dude actually has ears the size of Dumbo the elephant if you look at them through one of those carnival or amusement park mirrors. On an average, the size of an elephant's ear is 22 feet. Those gigantic ears were not genetically designed to help enhance his hearing. Rather, they were used to cool all of us off on those hot 102 degree Florida days. Can’t Quite Hear Ray Ray. Who while working at Sprint would only sell cell phones to deaf people? The most widespread type of mobile phone for the deaf is the textphone. The textphone has a display screen and a keyboard. While with a regular phone, the users speak into the microphone, with the textphone they can type their messages and read them on the screen. His specialty was to sell them the HTC One. The HTC One is one of the best phone to be considered by the people with the hearing impairment. It has the M3 T4 HAC.

It didn’t matter who he would or wouldn’t sell a phone too, because he couldn’t hear worth a hill of beans. But he could surely put away the “shine”.

Bona Fided always used to say why don’t Sprint sell no braille smart phones and laugh to himself.

Dora the explorer. She loved to explore the wonderful world of dumpster diving and constantly brags about the various dumpsters she has explored around the world over the years. Behind her back we all wanted to know why she never explored a dermatologist like Dr. Pimple Popper. She had more acne on her chocolate black face than Jodie Turner-Smith. Acne is an infection of the skin, caused by changes in the sebaceous glands which usually happen especially when you eat out of garbage cans, in some cases acne can be caused through genetics or a high level of vitamin B12 probably from her acquired taste of other people’s garbage and restaurant garbage and her finding the need to swallow birth control pills and eating them like Rolaids.

Man Root who is half black and half Asian got his name from the manroot. Manroot is a commonly used name for ginseng, an herb that is used medicinally and is claimed to have a wide variety of health benefits. Manroot is also used in Asian medicine and is available in a wide variety of herbal supplements and preparations.

In all honesty we gave him that nickname because of his Man Root staying power while engaging in sexual escapades with only Abaza women.

And lastly there’s me, The Brain! The Animate and the Inanimate man, in which I postulate the existence of dark matter, entropy, and the origin of life in the context of thermodynamics. Unfortunately for my acquired taste for the 100 proof moonshine. I did something in a blackout that I’m not proud of and now I was reprimanded in a plea bargaining deal by the courts to 8 years of community service teaching basic math at a Goodwill career center. I have and IQ as high as my American Idol William James Sidis (Our IQ’s scored between 250 to 300), which is considered as a super genius and in top 0.1% of the population in the world. You looked at a clock at 3:15. How many degrees are in the angle between the hour and minute hands? Hint it’s not zero! I’ll let you ponder on that for a while. No one really likes me when I’m sober. Only when I drink the moonshine so I can come down to their mental level or lower.

While the 5 of us were watching a softball game. Suddenly two cars come racing across the baseball field. Three seconds later two blue and white police cars jumped over the chicken wired 7 foot fence in left field as if they had that car the General Lee in the Dukes of Hazard. The Nazi hat wearing cop sitting on the passenger side of the first police car was trying to shoot the tires out of the second car a 1974 blue Cutlass. We raced to get up under the bleachers to watched in consternation. When the 4 cars took their Fast and the Furious 5 or 6 act on the road. I can’t believe what different point of view we all had.

Bona Fided said did yawl see how fast that purple van with the Super Charger Emblem on the front of it was traveling, while that ambulance was in hot pursuit? That scene was right out of Hills Street Blues. It’s a miracle that, that those wild herd of Oberhasli goats didn’t get run over. Dora the Explorer shouted why the heck was that 2007 Peterbilt Laborie Expert 2000 garbage truck doing donuts maneuvers that entails rotating the rear or front of the vehicle around the opposite set of wheels in a continuous motion, creating (ideally) a circular skid-mark pattern of rubber on a carriageway and possibly even causing those huge dumpster truck tires to emit smoke from friction in center field. She started crying all of a sudden.

Why you be crying Dora the Explorer, Bona Fided asked just like in the voice of his favorite cartoon character James “Mushmouth” Mush from the Fat Albert Gang?

Because one time when I was dumpster diving I got accidently hauled off inside of one of those kinds of dump trucks. Did you know that they got rats the size of chickens living inside of them? These ain’t acne bumps all over my face but former rat bites scars, if it weren’t for that stinking garbage man taking a cigarette break hearing me scream at the top of my lungs, them rats would have eatin me alive. You know something The Brain, after that hellified experience I vowed to never/ever allowed myself to get caught in no dumpster again.

I say Dora the Explorer have you ever/never considered changing careers?

Man Root kept repeating where did all them Toyota cars come from. A brand new 2020 Toyota Yaris Sedan LE 4 door, 2020 Toyota Corolla LE FWD 4dr Car, 2020 Toyota C-Hr LE FWD Sport Utitity, 2020 Toyota Corolla Hybrid LE, 2020 Toyota Camry L and the 2020 Toyota C-Hr XLE.

When he started undressing and was fully undressed he started streaking. Streakers began appearing at all sorts of public gatherings. On April 28th, 1974, five streakers calling for Richard Nixon’s impeachment ran through the crowd wearing Richard Nixon masks. Streakers appeared at Super Bowls, Olympics, political events, and anywhere a crowd had gathered. 34-year-old Robert Opel streaked across the stage flashing a peace sign at the 46^th Academy Awards presentation.

Ole Man Root was Streaking to all them Toyota that only he seen. We all took a big swig of the 100 proof moonshine to calm our fragile hallucinating nerves.

Can’t Quite Hear Ray Ray tapped Dora the explorer on her shoulder and handed her his smart phone where he had recorded what really happened.

A Bomb cyclone thunder and lightning rainstorm hit us at a rapid deepening mid-latitude cyclonic at a high pressure speed.

What we all thought were some kinds of vehicles, was only the maintenance baseball field grounds keepers trying in vain to cover the infield with the green tarp.

It could have rained cats and dogs and the 4 of us still would have had a different point of view. Why? Because of the 100 proof moonshine.

Foot Note: The clock is 360°, and every hour a clock hand turns through 30°. At 3:15, the minute hand will be exactly at three hours. But the hour hand will be a 1/4 of the way between three and four hours. Multiply 30° by 0.25, and get the answer is 7.5°.