An Ever Changing Place

I guess I can’t quite comprehend where I came from. It’s all kind of fuzzy, like when you wake up from a dream but you can’t remember what it was about. I recall the feeling of life flowing into my limbs, the burst of energy that surged through me when I opened my eyes for the first time. But when I looked around, it was just me. Not another sign of life in sight. I could hear the sound of my own heart beating in my ears, and a sudden feeling of longing pulling at the edges of my emotions.  

What was this feeling? Was it loneliness? Anger? Joy? I wasn’t sure. The one thing I was sure of was that I was alive and that was enough at the moment. 

In the days following my “birth” (If you would even call it that), I began to explore this place. It was mostly barren, all the same dizzying color: white. The ground in which I walked upon was flat and texture-less, and the sky was the same. After a while I found myself wondering and narrating my thoughts out loud. 

That’s when I discovered I could talk. 

My voice was unique, with a sort of feminine pitch. I guess that made sense, seeing as how I had figured out that I was indeed a female. I played around with my words, eventually participating in this thing I now know is called “singing”. It caused my voice to become melodic and beautiful, and I would spend much of my time obsessing over it, amazed that this breathtaking sound could be coming from my very own mouth.

“How is it even possible!” I exclaimed, then I laughed for the heck of it. “If only there was someone I could speak to, and share all of my lonely thoughts with…”

I paused, waiting for an answer. I scoffed at myself for uttering such words. Of course no one was here! After all, wouldn’t I have found them by now? All I had been doing was traveling through the white world, singing to myself. How could—

Only a few more days now. You must keep going. 

“Who said that?” I shouted, startled at the volume of my voice. I hadn’t known I could talk that loud. 

The silence was all that answered me.

But I was sure something or someone had spoken to me! I wasn’t going mad, was I? The idea made me shudder in foreboding. I certainly hope not. 

I continued to travel, all the while, waiting patiently for the strange voice to speak to me again. “You must keep going”, it had said. All right then, I’d keep going. Perhaps it would speak to me again if I obeyed what it said. 

As the days (are there even nights in this place?) went by, I eventually stopped walking. My legs were sore, and my mouth was scratchy from the countless hours I had spent singing. I collapsed onto the ground, closing my eyes. As always, the only thing I could hear was the pounding of my heart, steady and rhythmic. I fell asleep then, lulled by its sound. 

When I awoke, it was to a strange light I had never seen before. It hit me in the face, and I gasped aloud at its brightness. I got up quickly, expecting to see the same white world in which I had spent basically my whole life so far. Instead, the ground was green, the sky a rich but pale blue. 

My jaw dropped to the ground. All around me things of different shapes and colors filled this place, paying no attention to me. I realized with a jolt that they looked like me, with two arms, two legs, a head, a neck, feet and arms, as well as all the other things I had. 

To my right, a bright red colored female streamed past me, chittering wildy on a device she had pressed to her ear.  To my left, a vibrant blue child (I had learned that’s what the smaller figures were called), chased another around, squealing. 

I rubbed my forehead, confused and overwhelmed by the sudden change in my environment. What was going on? 

I looked down at the ground again, rubbing my bare feet against the prickly yet soft material that covered it. It tickled my skin, and I glanced up at the sky. White puffy things littered the wide expanse of blue, and my golden hair was warmed by the bright ball of light that still shone down on this place.

“This place.” I spoke aloud, for no obvious purpose. 

What was this place, exactly?

 I walked around, trying my best to get the colored figures' attention, but it was all in vain. They simply went by me, sometimes even bumping into me. 

Was I invisible then? 

Just like before, the days passed quickly. Only this time, there was half day and half night. For some hours, the sky would be blue and bright, and then it would turn black and motionless. I found a place to sit down (some metal bench of some sort), and watched the people pass, dumbfounded by their differences in appearance and personalities, but angered by their similar reactions to my efforts to be seen. 

During that whole time, I never closed my eyes. Not once. It was almost like I couldn’t. I wouldn’t let myself. Why? 

Maybe because I was scared that nothing would change when I woke up again. I would still be in this strange world, unseen and powerless. Maybe it was because I didn’t want my environment to be flipped again. I still didn’t know where I was or where I had come from, much less why. 

But despite my efforts, I became sleepy, and my eyes fluttered shut. It was then that I heard the voice. 

Just a small way to go yet. Do not lose courage, my faithful child. 

It had been so long, it felt like. I had almost forgotten it was even there. Though my eyes were still shut, I spoke a response out loud.

“Where am I even going? Please tell me! I feel lost!” 

Silence mocked me. I quickly got a headache over my hard concentration in listening for any response. 

Nothing. 

I drifted into a fitful sleep again, and though I couldn’t feel or hear anything around me, I knew. I knew my world was changing again. 

It was dark when I awoke, but not completely black. I saw then that it was a dark blue. When I breathed out, bubbles arose from my mouth, and I quickly covered it.

Strange creatures passed me, giving me confused looks. It was a small comfort to know that at least these things could see that I was there. They traveled in the weirdest ways, like they were gliding through the blueness. 

I realized that I was doing that very same thing. My arms and legs thrashed out then back in to stay afloat in this place. My hair rose above my head, like some monster’s tentacles. 

Above and below me was all the same: endless blue. It reminded me of the white world, the very first one I had been to, all that time ago. 

A small creature with fins and a colorful tail swam by me, its eyes bulging. It squeaked an unintelligent noise, and then scurried off. 

“And I thought the last place was weird.” I commented to no one in particular once the creature had fled from me. 

Later that evening (at least I think it was evening), as I floated around the blue, I had never felt so alone. I again wondered what my purpose was, why I was even here. Was I meant to simply travel here and there, always lost in a place that was always changing? Was I doomed to be alone forever?

I shivered, suddenly cold creeping into my bones. None of this was making any sense. I sank down, down, down, into the blackness. Despair swallowed me, and I opened my mouth to cry, but all that came out was a twisted garble. 

Well done, my child. You have completed your test. 

I jerked my eyes open. The place was white again, the same one i had been created in to start with. The voice was there now, in the back of my head. 

Let me introduce myself. I am your guide. 

“Yeah, well  you’ve been really helpful lately,” I muttered.

Do not show bitterness. You have been created for a special purpose, my child.

“And what purpose is that?” I asked, intrigued. 

The guardian of the realms, of course. 

I started. “The guardian? Does that explain why I’ve been appearing in all these strange places?”

These places are in fact worlds. They are unnamed. Your purpose is to walk these realism all your days, keeping the peace. If two worlds were to clash or interfere in any way, it would be chaos. 

It all started to make sense. As crazy as it was, it made sense. I felt the cold lift off, being replaced by warmth and a feeling of belonging. 

“Thank you!” I told my guide. 

Of course, my child. Now go, and do  your duty well. 

“I will!” I shouted back, and then I laughed again for the heck of it 

As I  walked through the white world again, it was with confidence and determination instead of confusion and tiredness. I sang my songs with joy and happiness rather than boredom and fear. I looked through the world with new eyes. 

Because this time, I had learned that just because I was inside an ever-changing place, I didn’t have to stay the same.