Open the Door!!!

Life in the late twenties is a transition. Career starts taking shape; mood keeps swinging from being calm and meditative to an urge to go out for the late-night parties. One is too wise for the young Instagram-driven life coaches and too young for the experience-driven experts. In short, it is nothing less than going through puberty all over again, transformational, and occasionally painful. The pain this time is not the cramps or random body developments but that of a constant nudge of random people into your personal life.

The life of Vibha was no different than any other 29-year-old metropolitan girl. It had been eight years that she was living on her own now. Working as a data scientist for a reputed firm and living in an apartment all on her own was the most enjoyable part of her life. She loved herself for being an introvert, minding her own business, binging on Netflix, and mostly coding. The poster stuck at her entrance door that read “An Introvert Paradise” said a lot about her and her limited stock of close friends.

The one call which she regularly made was to her parents living in Gwalior. She was their second child. Her elder brother, Ajju, had moved to Manchester five years back and had visited India only twice since then. ‘There is so much to explore in the world,’ Ajju would say to Vibha and their parents. However, Vibha was very comfortable in her cocoon at her Bangalore residence of one bedroom, hall, and a kitchen.

Nevertheless, she understood that people who like to mark the whole world as their territory had no shortage of poles and places to shower. She didn’t mind her brother being such an explorer, but there was no room in her life for it. With Ajju mainly being unavailable, Vibha had to compensate his absence with long calls and chats with her parents and other relatives, something which she did not mind.

It was a beautiful Sunday morning. Vibha had a deadline hanging above her from the office. She worked from home over the entire week, and her manager had asked her to present the work on coming Monday to their whole team. After making some last-minute corrections, Vibha sent the work to her office team by 10:00 am to keep the entire Sunday to herself. It was going to be a long relaxing day. After doing her regular stretching, she plugged her phone into charging and headed to the bathroom to take a shower. Although she lived alone, she still made sure to lock the bathroom door from inside. She did not intend to spend a lot of time in the shower and quickly dabbed herself to come out. As she pulled the latch for the door to open, she found the knob to have got somehow stuck. She tried twisting the knob and pulling it hard but could not open the door. Panic started to build in her. She remembered the heated conversation in the society’s RWA WhatsApp group regarding old and rusty fittings in a few houses. Still, she had not paid a moment of thought to those conversations then.

To be in control of her messy situation, Vibha started to take deep breaths. A yoga guru she had listened to sometime back had discussed this trick to calm the brain. After few deep breaths, she again twisted the knob hard and pulled the door. Nothing moved, nothing turned. She then took her towel, wrapped it on the knob to have a better grip, and then pulled. Everything was futile. She could not open the door! VIBHA WAS TRAPPED!

Vibha then started shouting for help. She cried like maniacs for anyone to listen to her desperate call. But this is the irony of metropolitan cities, they hold no less than 10 million people in their arms, but not one of these ten million is audible to another. These cities are like archipelagos, with each person being like an island, always in sight but never approachable.

Amongst the chaos of her loud calls for help and banging at the door, she heard a familiar tune coming from her room. It was her phone that was ringing. But it lay in the room, plugged into the charger. Vibha started to sob at the sound of her ringtone. It must be her mother. Who else would call her on a Sunday morning? Tears began to roll down her cheek. She couldn’t think of any way out.

Time passed. From the sound of her pendulum clock, she realized it had been over 3 hours that she was stuck inside. As time passed, Vibha grew hungry too. But what could one possibly eat in a bathroom? There was no food but just water, soap, and few plants she had placed there for decoration.

Plants? Which one?

An aloe vera plant that she used for her sporadic facial rituals and a lemongrass plant as it looked beautiful to her. There were so many of those which she had placed all over the house and balcony. With escape nowhere in sight, she switched on the geyser, plucked few lemongrasses, and put them in the mug she used for bathing. Next, she plucked a leaf of aloe vera and scooped some gel from it to eat. The moment she placed it in her mouth, she had an urge to spit it out. But having no other alternative, she forced herself to swallow the pulp somehow. The water in the geyser was hot now. She poured some of it in the mug with lemongrass and let it simmer for some time. Having had a scoop of aloe vera as lunch, she started to drink her tea.

Thoughts were exploding in her brain. She looked in the mirror and couldn’t help but laugh at herself. It was going to be a long and relaxing Sunday. And here she was, wrapped in a towel, locked inside a bathroom, with a red plastic mug full of hot tap water sprinkled with lemongrass as her exquisite tea. Was all this happening? And why was she smiling? ‘Am I losing myself?’

The phone rang again. This must have been 4^th call since the time she was stuck. ‘Would they be thinking me to be a snob for not picking up the phone? Do they know this snob is drinking water from her mug in the bathroom right now?’. She started to laugh hysterically, thinking about this.

The pendulum announced that it had been 6 hours since the time she was stuck. She had made herself tea 6-7 times till now, although she did not savor the aloe vera dish after the first time. ‘Will I be found ever? Will people know how this happened? Will they know that I was a happy and content person, and this was nothing but an accident?’ Vibha had an urge to commute her side of the story to the world somehow. She could not let someone else narrate her story based on their perspective of being a loner and hence probably sad, underconfident, and every other stereotypical feature falsely associated with an asocial person. She thus pulled out her lipstick from the cupboard in the bathroom and started to write down her story on the mirror.

My name is Vibha Mahajan. I am a happy person who likes to keep myself to myself mostly. Today on the 7^th of May, I accidentally got locked inside the bathroom due to a faulty knob. As I write, it has been more than 12 hours that I am stuck here. I have taken a scoop of fresh aloe vera gel and 6-7 mugs of hot tap water since then to keep myself hydrated and alive. I am not sure if I can remain conscious for long, but whoever finds me here, please call my parents and tell them not to worry. And tell my father that his daughter is no less than an example of Darwin’s theory “survival of the fittest.” He is a Biologist and will know I did not lose my sense of humor. I am hence quite confident that I will make it through. Not enough lipstick to write anymore. I have always loved my life and want to live so much more. Thank you to the one reading this note and taking me to the hospital on time.”

It had been complete 24 hours now for Vibha to have been trapped. Even though she was a teetotaller, it felt like she was high on alcohol, drugs, and everything else. The tea was not helping anymore. Suffocation in those closed, moist walls was nauseating. The emotion of “survival of the fittest” was gradually declining. Her phone had rung more than 20 times since the time she was stuck. Vibha had never imagined her end to be in such a closed atmosphere. She had liked the idea of living alone, but who can appreciate even the thought of dying alone. Her whole identity of enjoying her company was crashing or instead melting in the humid environment. ‘Had she been wrong in picking up her priorities?’ ‘Is this the penance for having avoided people with random last-minute cancellation excuses?’ ‘And even if it is, was it such a big crime to face this heavy consequence of getting trapped in a bathroom?’ With a list of questions and self-doubt, Vibha laid unconscious in the 6×9-foot area. And as she laid there, she dreamt of all the things she had hoped for in life. Hope is a good thing. But like every good thing starts to crumble at some point in time, her hope to be discovered alive was gradually declining.

When someone from outside finally opened the bathroom, the door was found to have been mauled by Vibha’s nails, the knob was wrapped with tissue papers, the lemongrass plant had few leaves left, and below the shower area lay an unconscious Vibha. It took two days for people to realize Vibha was missing. Her parents had called her friends and office staff hysterically. From the CCTV footage, it was identified that Vibha had not stepped out of her house since Saturday evening. And thus, whatever may have happened to her must be in her home. The ambulance took Vibha to the hospital and after many bottles of glucose, injections, and pills, Vibha was discharged in a week. It still felt like a dream to her. Only when she saw the script on her bathroom mirror could she believe the ordeal she had been through.

Ajju called Vibha the following week. He, too, had been unreachable over the entire week. When Vibha enquired where he had been, he told her that he experienced the utmost level of solitude over the weekend. There was no phone, no internet, and not a word to utter. Vibha could not believe that the siblings shared the same horror and how surprising it is for him to have been stuck in a bathroom too! But before she could give voice to her thoughts, Ajju told her that he had been on Vipassana, a meditative practice. It is an observation-based, self-exploratory journey that focuses on the deep interconnection between the mind and body, which is realized through disciplined attention to the physical sensations. The course suggests the trainees disconnect themselves from the world and look within.

Vibha smiled, listening to her brother’s words. He had redefined her experience too. Until now, she felt that she was trapped within four moist walls over the weekend, but only now did she realize that the incident was of self-realization. She recognized the immense potential she carried, her presence of mind, and above all, her resilience to live and make it through. Ajju and herself were never separate people. They were just two different shades of grey. Ajju sought help for self-realization outside, and she looked within.