9 comments

Crime Drama Fiction

Trigger warning: suicide

 

Evan was nervous. He wiped away sweat from his brow as the music began. He stood on the right side of the altar, the minister behind it. White flowers adorned both sides of the isle. He shifted on his feet. It had been nearly three months since he asked, and now the day was finally here. 

His heart skipped a beat as she appeared. She was stunning. Her dress was tightly fitting with a long white cape flowing behind her. At her side was her father, a large austere man. Emily smiled at him as she took her place on the other side of the altar. Her father, holding back tears as he let her go. Evan was frozen in place as the minister began to speak. 

“Friends and Family of the bride and groom…” His heart beat with terror, yet his soul was filled with joy. In a few moments she would be his, and he would be hers.

 

As the minister spoke, bitterness began to grow like a thorn in Darians chest. He sat at the back of the church. His back slumped in the chair, his eyes were filled with envy as he watched the ceremony progress. How had he gotten her? He had loved her first! But she had loved him more. 

The anger grew even more as he watched them give each other the rings. His skin crawled as they said their vows. And rage burned as they kissed. Everyone but him rose to their feet clapping. Some shouted and whistled as they embraced in a loving and intimate embrace. He left then. He couldn’t watch anymore. 

Darian calmly walked to his car, trying to hold the anger and jealousy in. As he sat down in the red charger, he broke. Tears fell from his eyes and he screamed with rage. He had loved her first, and Evan had taken her away! He wept for a little while and vented his anger on the steering wheel and dash. After a moment he calmed down, his mind coming to terms with what had just occurred. She wasn’t his after all. She never was, and she never would be. He drove off then, his wheels leaving a cloud of smoke as he tore out of the parking lot of the church. He didn’t know where he would go, just anywhere from there would do. As he drove down the highway he entered the small town where he, Evan, and Emily had grown up. 

Memories of the three of them filled his mind and he fought to push them away, but he couldn’t. As more pain filled his heart he saw a familiar sign, and the old desire rose up in him. What good would it do him? It was this that drove Emily away from him in the first place. But he didnt care. He needed relief from the pain, and an old friend was the only solution he could think of. 

Darian pulled the charger in front of the bar. His mind froze as he sat in the parking lot. Should he do this and go down this road again? His mind was indecisive, but the impulse and desire to forget rose up and overcame reason. He exited the car.

 

 

Darian threw back the last of another beer. He had lost count of how many he had had. Time and reality had lost its grip on him, but he still drank. His conscious was numbed over with the first drink, and he continued to bury it with every sip. 

The sky had darkened long ago, and thunder clouds threatened to pour down rain from the heavens. Darian lifted the empty bottle and another was put in its place; the waiter, a fuzzy picture of a man. Darian had hoped to forget the pain of losing her, but all the alcohol did was quiet it. He could still feel the pain like knives embedded within him. 

This beer went down as quickly as the last, his vision becoming more blurry. He had lost feeling in his hands hours ago. Or was it minutes? He couldn’t tell. 

He sat there, downing beer after beer, hoping he would fall unconscious or die from the drink, a thought came to him. It started as a small seed that began to grow into a vine that coiled around his mind. He had loved Emily for as long as he could remember. He had known Evan nearly as long as he had known her. But Evan had won her heart, something he had never been able to do. Hate pulsed through him as he thought about it. He took another swig of alcohol. The hate, anger, and feeling of rejection began to push back whatever shred of reason still remained untouched by the beer. Evan didn’t deserve her! He never had! She was his! If he couldn’t have her, no one could.

He stood up then, dropping the bottle on the floor. It shattered and someone gasped. He raised his hand and muttered a slurred sorry. The idea grew and grew, strangling his conscious and planting more and more seeds of hate and anger. Darian pushed open the door of the bar and stumbled to his car. As he opened the car door, something came over him. His vision cleared and his gate returned to normal, but the clouded mind remained. Darian shivered as a strange chill ran along his spine. He heard a voice speak to him then. A wicked voice that seemed as ancient as the ground he stood on. Darian didn’t resist the voice, in fact he welcomed it. He didn’t resist as his body began to move at its own volition. He didn’t resist as he drove out of the parking lot, his mind set on two things. 

Emily. And fire. 

 

Emily giggled as Evan picked her up from the bed, spun her around and kissed her. They were finally home. The party after the ceremony had taken hours, and had lasted well into the night.

“I love you.” Evan said, kissing her again. 

“I love you too.” Emily said, kissing him back. They stood there for a moment, caught in a loving embrace. 

“Ok, stop.” Emily said, giggling and pushing him away. Evan smiled. “Why?” He kissed her again. Emily pushed him away. 

“Because you have a busy night! We leave early tomorrow and you need to finish packing.” She said. 

“Ohh!” Evan said, leaning in again. Emily laughed. “Yes!” 

Evan groaned. “I've waited so long to kiss you and when I finally can you won’t let me.” He said in mock sadness, making puppy eyes. Emily smirked at him, and brought her lips close to his ear and whispered, “If you finish packing, i’ll give you more than a kiss tomorrow at the hotel.” He smirked at her and chuckled. 

“Now that is an offer I can’t refuse!” He sighed. “Ok, I’ll finish packing. But you better get some sleep tonight because you won’t get any tomorrow!” Emily smiled and pushed him out of the room. “Go!” He laughed and closed the door behind him. Then he walked down the stairs, his heart overflowing with joy. He went to the living room and began to pack all the clothes that he and Emily had set out the night before; humming all the while. An hour passed and he had almost finished, when he heard it. 

A car horn and then a shout outside. He stood up and walked to the window. The night was black and rain pattered silent against the window. He saw nothing but the light from a street lamp. The darkness obscured everything. It obscured the tall oak in the front yard. It obscured the driveway. And it obscured the red charger that had parked in front of the house. 

 

 

Darian sat in the car for a moment, staring at the house across the street. Darian was sure Evan hadn’t seen him, he definitely wasn’t looking for him. The voice whispered in his ear and Darian drained the can of beer in his hand, and exited the car. The voice moved him, telling him what to do. He opened the trunk and pulled out the red jerry can. He walked away then, leaving the trunk open.

He was about half way across the street when his ears rang with a car horn. The headlights blinded him for a moment, the car passed and Darian cursed at it. The voice snarled at him and his body moved by itself. A moment later he stood by the front door. He froze as something moved at the window. It was Evan. Hatred burned within Darian and he felt like attacking him. But the voice quoted him. He had something to do. He opened the jerry can and began to walk around the house, leaving a trail of gasoline behind him. Once the can was empty, he returned to his car and grabbed a small, leather wrapped item from the trunk. He unwrapped it. It was a revolver. It was empty, but Darian pulled a handful of bullets from the leather and loaded it. He turned to the house. Walked over to the front door. Pulled a match box from his pocket. Lit a match. And dropped it on the trail of gas. 

The sound of the gasoline igniting was music to Darians ears. Red flame shot in two directions, surrounding the house. The parts that Darian had splashed with gas caught first, the flames creeping up the side of the house despite the rain. Darian stepped back and chuckled as the front door was engulfed in flame. The night was soon alive with dancing tongues of fire.

 

 

Evan felt the heat before he realized what was happening. He stood up and turned to the window. His blood went cold. The window was illuminated with red. Black smoke and small flickers of flames leaked through the edges of the window. He stood there frozen for a moment. Then his heart skipped a beat. Emily. He ran out of the living room and stumbled back. Flames had blocked the path to the stairs. The door had vanished in fire. 

“Emily!” He shouted. Fear gripped his heart. “Emily!” No response. Evan ran to the kitchen, where the phone was. He picked it up and called 911. 

“Hello, what’s your emergency?” A calm voice said.

“My house is on fire and my wife is caught up stairs.” Evan said. The voice tried to respond but something roared and the phone exploded. Evan stumbled back and looked up. The kitchen window was shattered, and Evan could barely make out the figure of a man standing outside. A flash of flame illuminated the air and the blast of a gun echoed through the air. Evan ducked as the bullet smashed into the wall.  

“Die you fool! Die!” Evan heard as another bullet slammed into the wall.

“Emily!” Evan yelled, crawling along the floor towards the stairs. He got up as he exited the kitchen. 

“Evan! Help!” Emily shouted. Evans' heart lurched as he heard the desperation in her voice. 

“I'm coming! Hold on!” Evan said. He looked at the wall of flames blocking the staircase and he grimaced. Gritting his teeth, he ran forward, leaping through the flames and onto the steps. He screamed with pain as the flames licked at his flesh. He landed on the steps and quickly scrambled up them, the flames following close behind. His shirt and pants were smoldering, but he didn’t care.

“Emily!” He shouted, running to her room. The door was still closed, but Evan could see bloody light leaking from under the door. Adrenaline rushed through him and his hands began to shake. 

He tried to open the door, but it was locked. He slammed against it. “Emily!” He punched the door, kicked it, and slammed his body against it. 

“Evan!” 

He heard her voice from behind the door. It was full of fear and sounded strained. A series of coughs followed. 

Evan shouted, backed up, and ran at the door. The wood broke under him and he fell forward, straight into red flame. He scrambled back, slapping the portions of his clothes that had caught fire. 

“Evan!” She was close, by the far wall. Evan jumped the flames again and ran into the wall. He shouted for her, his vision was obscured by smoke. A hand grabbed his foot, and he grabbed it. It was her. She was on the floor trying to escape the smoke. He grabbed her and hugged her. Tears filling his eyes. 

Then there was a sudden crack, and the floor gave way. Evan and Emily fell. Then their bodies slammed against the living room floor. 

 

 

Darian heard a crack, and a portion of the house gave way. He smiled as he heard them scream. The voice in his head laughed and so did Darian. He stood outside, screaming curses at them and firing an occasional round into the house. The house had caught fire quicker than he thought it would, the flames reaching for the sky. 

He heard someone cry out and he ran to the front of the house. Something moved from within the front window and Darian fired two rounds into the burning building. 

“Come out Evan! Come on out!” He fired again. 

Evan stood up quickly. The adrenaline coursing through him saved him from most of the pain from the fall. He looked around and glimpsed Emily; her body limp beside him. 

“No!” He yelled, reaching down and grabbing her. Two rounds suddenly ripped through the house and Evan screamed as one tore through his shoulder. He fell to the ground beside Emily. 

“Come out Evan! Come on out!” Someone said from outside. Evan ducked as another bullet ripped through the flames. Fear held Evan in an iron grip. Fear that he wouldn’t get out of her. Fear for Emily’s life. He screamed, pushing back the pain, and he stood up. He lifted Emily’s limp body up with him and walked. His body moved by memory. He cried out with pain as the fire beat at his legs and waist. He walked to the door and kicked it open. He fell through it, the door crumbling to ash. He tumbled out of the house, Emily falling in front of Him, out of reach of the flames.

 

 

Darian started as two forms exploded through the flames. They both collapsed on the front lawn. Darian stood there frozen for a moment, then fear gripped him. By seeing the two smoking forms a cold dart of reason cut through the haze and he stood there frozen. What had he done? The sound of sirens filled the air and his blood turned cold. The voice whispered to him and he looked at the gun. What had he done? He pulled back the hammer. There was one bullet left. Darian fell to his knees. What had he done? This wasn’t him? The voice spoke to him again and his arm rose. He cried as he felt the cold steel touch his head. The sound of sirens drew closer and he saw one of the forms stir on the ground. The voice spoke once more and his finger moved less than an inch. And it was over. The pain was gone. The hate and anger was gone. the voice was gone. Darian was gone.

 

 

word count: 2587

 

 

 

October 24, 2020 01:52

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

9 comments

Lani Lane
16:24 Oct 28, 2020

Ooooo, I love a good crime story!! This could almost be "horror" too... so creative, Noel! Would not have expected a story like this from the prompt and I'm so glad you wrote this. :) Only thing I noticed was some problems with dialogue punctuation--easy to fix! Here's a site that has all you need to know for dialogue punctuation: https://www.authorlearningcenter.com/writing/fiction/w/character-development/6491/8-essential-rules-for-punctuating-dialogue---article Just make sure to use commas instead of periods when the dialogue is foll...

Reply

Noel Pine
17:52 Oct 28, 2020

Yeah, this one was fun to write! I kinda rushed it a little because my week was really busy and i didnt get a lot of time to sit down a write it. But i enjoyed it! Thanks! i will definitely take a look at that! Huh, interesting! Yeah, my main writing problem is editing. I hate doing it but it is a necessity. Thanks for the feedback!

Reply

Lani Lane
17:54 Oct 28, 2020

I totally feel that, all my stories have been sooo rushed lately. :/ And yes I HATE editing ugh. But this was a great read and I hope you do more crime/thrillers in the future! :)

Reply

Noel Pine
17:57 Oct 28, 2020

Yeah! i like the crime genre in general, and this one was fun to write! in fact, my next story, if i get time to write it this week, will be kinda crime/conspiracy/fantasy and yeah. It'll be interesting!

Reply

Lani Lane
18:04 Oct 28, 2020

That would be fun! Do you know which prompt you're hoping to write for?

Reply

Noel Pine
18:24 Oct 28, 2020

Yes! I'm writing a story for the "group of witches on halloween night" one.

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Noel Pine
17:53 Oct 28, 2020

Yeah, it definitely could be a horror. I think it would need a little more background information and extra context to do that though.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 2 replies
Show 1 reply
Reedsy | Default — Editors with Marker | 2024-05

Bring your publishing dreams to life

The world's best editors, designers, and marketers are on Reedsy. Come meet them.