Finding You

This is going to be your last chance, walk to him now and say your first and last goodbye! Your nervous sloppy legs would drag itself in front of Luke but it wouldn’t matter, as long as it is genuine! 

A month ago, your friend from Luke’s class talked to you. Nervously, you tried to make him talk about Luke without being suspected or caught. Without warning, Jacob said Luke would be switching to another school, a Christian school to be specific. You hesitated and kept yourself calm, when you thought that you had always wanted to talk to him but you can’t, and now he is leaving? 

“When is he leaving?”, you pieced the words together, trying to be calm. He replied next month. “Oh no”, you said loudly without realizing the word slipped out. Jacob raised his brows and asked whether you are okay. You brushed it off and made an excuse that you would need to meet a teacher. 

The next day, you were dashing to the canteen and a figure emerged rapidly at the corner of your eye. Bang! You fell to the ground. A deep thud sounded as books fell to the ground. “Damn it! I’m so sorry”, a soft, gentle deep voice cried seconds later. Your brain immediately processed this voice and declared an emergency across your body. Your heart beated so quickly that it could throw all its blood to a marathon across the world. Your head spinned towards the voice, uncoordinated and dizzy from the fall and there he was. 

Luke’s ocean eyes followed you as you raised your head, until your eyes met with his. You admired his small but sharp nose, the smile on his thinly plump lips, painted on his long, sharp face. “ Are you okay?”, he awkwardly breathed the words. “ Nothing, nothing, I’m very okay, no I mean I’m fine,” you mumbled quickly and ran away before Luke could even open his mouth. Oh, you would always think every action of his is handsome, even when he was parting his lips to say something. 

As you were entering the canteen, you saw Mina with an annoyed look on her face and knew you were late. You quickly explained what had happened just now, “ You see, some random dude did not pay attention and crashed into me as I was walking here.” Well, you did not tell her about the one sided romantic moment you had with that random dude. “ Okay okay, I forgive you but regarding…”, she said while looking at a book, turning towards you, her face turned to confusion. “Are you blushing?, she added immediately. 

You brought your hands to your cheek and felt the warmth, realized Luke had been in your mind the whole time. You shook your head, trying to be as authentic as possible without being caught lying. Mina’s eyes widened seconds later. You felt a light and warm touch on your shoulder and turned your head. There you saw Luke holding your lunchbox and he said it with his authentic sweet voice, “ Is this yours? I saw it from the place we fell.” Your mouth fell open as you stared at him, frozen from the shock he had brought. “ Yes, that is her’s,” Mina intruded as she looked at you confused. Luke nodded and handed your lunchbox to Mina. “ You are funny when you are confused,” he said amusingly and walked away. 

“Today was such a disaster”. Travelling back to the moments of the day. You remembered about what Luke had said. Is that flirting? Or was it just Luke giving a funny comment of you? But he isn’t someone who is famous who would talk to everyone, so it was off the list. Spontaneously you thought, “Am I special to him?” You blushed at that thought immediately. 

A week later. You were in the hallway, waiting for Mina to meet you. You were busy fiddling with your phone, checking if anyone had wished you for this very special day. Not even one person wished you, not even Mina. “Did she forget about it?,” you thought to yourself. No, it’s just impossible, the both of you are best friends and you all celebrated together on her birthday. 

Pop! You turned back and saw Mina holding a birthday popper. Her brownish black hair anchored little glittering paper, her smile warm as summer and her eyes blue as winter. She started singing the birthday song and students began singing with her too. You leaped into her and hugged. Everyone applauded. “ Mina! What have you done?,” a voice cried. 

You searched for the sound and saw the headmaster’s disappointed look. This wasn’t the first time Mina had gotten into trouble and it looked like she may be suspended this time. He instructed Mina and you to follow him to the headmaster’s office. You whispered to Mina constantly that everything would be okay. 

The headmaster swung the door open and invited the both of you in. He lowered into his chair and parted his lips to say something, but he resisted. “ I’m really sorry, I was just trying to let my best friend have the best birthday he would ever have.” He nodded, “ I could see that”. “I’m not going to punish you this time, but you would need to clean the hallway.” He turned to you and said, “ You could help her too, if you want to!”. You nodded enthusiastically.

“Thanks, I really appreciated that,” you mumbled, holding on tightly to the dustpan, tears flowing out. Mina let go of the broom and came to me for a hug. “ It’s okay! I’m not suspended, yet”. You let out a muffled laugh. 

Three weeks later. Today is the day. The day Luke is leaving. You’ve got to make this day count. You wanted to say goodbye and to take a selfie with him. Wouldn’t it be weird? You’ve only talked to him once and you are asking for a selfie with only you and him. You are groaning, thinking about all these complications. He’s leaving and you wanted to keep this as a memory, but you wouldn’t want to bring suspicion. Why does it have to be so hard?

During lunchtime, You see him again. Similar to the last four weeks, he is carrying books stacked unorganized against each other. Luke’s gorgeous eyes fidgeting from left to right, sensing for obstacles. Your heart skipped a beat. This is going to be your last chance, walk to him now and say your first and last goodbye! Your nervous sloppy legs would drag itself in front of Luke but it wouldn’t matter, as long as it is genuine! You take a step towards him, two steps towards him, three steps. Each step rang an emergency from your brain, trying to stop yourself from the awkwardness you are going to face.  

Soon, you are in front of him and you stand there. He immediately slowed his pace until he was standing in front of you. This time you see your little reflection in his lightly blue eyes and smile awkwardly. “Ermmm” you whispered. “ Can I take a selfie with you?” you shouted quietly. 

He looked at you, frozen, thinking about what you had just told him. He lowered his lips and laughed quietly and nodded. You gasped happily and nodded in reply. You grabbed your phone from a pocket shakily, processing what had happened in that 20 seconds. With an extremely sweaty palm, the phone is manipulated by the false touches. Hesitating, you tried to tap on that camera icon. But random apps got loaded by sweat. Ten seconds of trying and you are in. You hold your phone high up, getting the both of you into the viewfinder. 

With your shaky hands, the selfie came out blurry and out of focus. Both of you looked at the result. You deleted it to try again but the other two came out better but it is still bad. Disappointed, you turn to him and move your lips. He smiled and grabbed the phone from your hand, his soft and smooth hand grazed your hand. Your face turns red and you look away from him, smiling stupidly. He laughed, “ Break is over soon”. You turn over and look at your phone, suspending, and you give your best smile. 

Both of you look at the selfie, satisfied. Luke’s hand scrapes yours again when he gives the phone back to you. He twisted his arm briefly and looked at his fitness band, “ Oh! I need to bring these books into the office! See you again!”. The last three words ached your heart, you wouldn’t know when is the ‘again’? One month? Two months? three years? You bring your legs into motion and ambush him from the back, you hugged him. 

Luke sighed laughily and both of you stood there for a few seconds, until you let go. “ I know we will see each other again!”. He turned to face you and winked. You absorbed his ocean eyes, his small but sharp nose, his thin plump lips one last time. “ So can I be pardoned now?” “ Yes, yes, of course” you laughed, almost muffled by the tears. 

Both of you look at each other and turn away. Walking away and not looking back.