Made It

Made It

 Story By Jesse D. Lopez

They say that you got to fake it ‘til you make it, but how many of them live it?

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“I never said I was a big shot, in fact, the most important lesson I ever learned from college was to check my ego at the door, that’s why I listen to other people at the writing table.”, Abel explains almost trying to virtue signal.

Brian is quit to pick up on this, but too patient to call it out now, so he says, “I agree, that’s why I didn’t mind writing this Christmas movie with the other outcast staff writers.”

Carl can’t miss some good gripe at the writing table, one would think he thrives from it, “Can you believe their making us do this? I guess they don’t want to spend the extra money at the after party.”

“They’re saving money by ditching us? How economical, here I was thinking they didn’t give a crap about staff writers.”, Abel quips.

David is the lucky one, as in lucky to be here, therefore he is the most straitlaced out our Christmas cast aways, “That’s pretty funny, is there any way to work that into the movie?”

Elvira is funny and talented, and yet she still feels she needs to prove herself; she leans in with a devilish smirk, “I got another movie Idea…”

“Here comes another dandy!”, Brian says leaning back in his chair for another good yarn.

“Two misunderstood necrophiliacs must save the world from zombies by having sex with them until they get aids, and their heads explode!”

“Hawwl, mis-understood? They’re necrophiliacs! We know what they’re about.”, Abel states.

Elvira continues, “Here’s the good part, the only way to break the curse is for them to have sex with the corpses of their own parents, I call it…”, she looks at Abel, “What was the name of your street again?”

David and the rest crack up, including Abel who shakes his head at how much Elvira’s absurdity has come, “Bitch you aint naming that after my neighborhood, name it after your own street!”

“Too bad the title ‘The Aristocrats’ is taken.” David says.

“Can we just get this over with, I hate writing Christmas movies, everybody knows they’re all the same.”, Elvira says.

“Then let’s write a Christmas movie for people who hate Christmas movies.”, Abel says.

“The best way to not write a bad Christmas movie, is not to write a Christmas movie.”, Carl retorts.

“Good point Carl, I agree with you one hundred percent, would you agree that the best way to get fired as a writer is to not write?”, Abel says.

“Then what do you got?”, Brian asks almost hoping Abel has nothing.

“Well, it’s not a zombie movie, but……, why can’t it have zombies then, or robots, or aliens? I just thought of that, but what I was really going to say is that, maybe the only reason Christmas movies and politics suck, is because the people who could actually make those things better think that they are too good to put in the work, sucky’ness only succeeds when coolness does nothing.”

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Two years later…

Abel is on set of a big budget feature, “Yeah they mothballed it, after all the time and originality we put into it, they bought the movie based on its unique message and theme, then they decided there’s no audience for it now, so, you know, maybe one day that one Christmas movie I wrote will see the light of day.”, Abel says to the director on the feature film he’s working on after climbing up a ladder of studio born flops, he read the book this movie is based on, he promised his fiancé they will get married in their new house.

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While walking through the set of the show Elvira is now running she is asked the ‘inevitable’, how did you make it? “I thought it was funny, I mean, we didn’t go with zombies, but the compromise we came up with became the soul of the movie.” Elvira says to her production assistant on set, “The real funny thing is that the script got passed around behind the scenes and people started calling me, I think the producers wanted us to get something after they shelved the movie.”

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David is riding in the back of a pickup truck with the rest of his crack team of movie producers, “I don’t get people who work their asses off to be in an office all day, what they said about this business is true, the worst day of this, is better than the best days of everything else, you just have to put up with paying your dues to make it.”, the driver taps the top of the truck and they all see the Aztec temples they have permission to film at.

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Brian tosses back a mixed drink while the rest of the writers at the table riff jokes back and forth, it’s the season for bad sweatshirts and bad movies, “You guys won’t be laughing when it comes out, it will be like Guns and Roses most anticipated album Chinese democracy, except my Christmas movie wont suck as hard, it’ll just suck a little, I think I was super high all the time back then, I was put on it, and I hated it, but I made some good friends, learned some new techniques for dealing with projects I hate, and it took me all the way here, I have no regrets.”

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Carl reminisces with a script editor at a studio while he decides which scripts are going to make it and which ones won’t, “One of the most important things I ever learned on the job was that sucky’ness only succeeds when coolness does nothing, that’s why I choose this career, so I can give the people I worked with a chance to be seen and heard instead of being shelved like that Christmas movie.”

The End.